AIBU to ask you to help me prepare for getting the dog put down

[AntHilda]

I have to go in with her. I'm scared, I find death hard to get my head around even though I have experienced others die in my lifetime so far. The dog is poorly and very old. She is partially blind, has cancer, arthritic and going deaf. The thing is her character and excitement is still there. She is in pain and she having accidents indoors now and I know it's her time.
What are others' experience of this, I don't know if I'm going to be a bit freaked out afterwards but I do want to be the one to hold her as she goes. Appointment is Friday, I'm so sad and frightened for her.

Oh—another thing which I read recently, but have never done, is that you should show the body of your deceased pet to your other pets (if you have any). This is somewhat controversial but many believe it helps them come to terms with the loss.
Good luck for tomorrow OP.

Having been there while quite a few dogs have had to be put to sleep, it is still very upsetting. You just have to remember you are doing what is best for your dog. We have two of ours ashes in plant pots in the garden, it's a nice way for us to remember them.

We had to do this last week with our dog. She was nearly 10 and had a tumour. It broke my heart. I had to leave as they were injecting the stuff into her. My Mum stayed with her. It was the hardest thing I've ever had to do. She was at the door, looking at me, if she could've spoke she would've been telling me to hurry up, she wanted to go home.
We got her ashes delivered back yesterday and she's home forever now.
Be kind to yourself. It's horrible not having them at home afterwards, my Mum still says she feels lost, my dog lived with her. Definitely get out the house and don't mope because your dog is going to the best place, we don't want to see them suffering and by pts you are doing the kindest thing.

It's is the hardest thing to do, it will break your heart, but the best thing for your dog.

I sadly had my 10 year old cat pts due to cancer Feb 2018.
The vet came to my home & I got the feeling that he thought I'd left it too long.

When he arrived she hissed & spat at him as if she knew something was up. But didn't run away as she was very weak.
I held her as she had the sedative injection, then before she fell asleep she unfortunately vomited which can happen.
As she fell asleep she was making growling noises which was very typical of her, she was a feisty cat!!
He checked she was unconscious then gave her the pts injection.
I stroked her for a bit then we had to put her in a body bag in case of bodily fluids.
My dad & I did that and I carried her carefully out to the vets car & laid her on the front seat. I was in tears.

I got her cremated separately & got the ashes returned in a beech box with a name plaque.

But I was devastated. I got another rescue cat & it took several months to fall in love with her properly. I still feel upset & miss my old cat now!

I'm glad for my cats sake I got her pts at home as she detested going to the vet.

I loved my dog more than life itself and I always dreaded the day when I’d have to have him put down. As it turned out, it was very sudden - I didn’t think there was much wrong with him but it turned out that he was bleeding internally, and I literally had 10 mins to wrap my head around the idea.

I am weird with death and dead things, but when it came to it there was no way I wasn’t going to be there for him. You find the strength even though it hurts like fuck (for you), because you love them and they need you. I cuddled him and told him I loved him over and over again until he was gone. Nearly a year on and crying like a baby now typing this. I’m so glad I was there for him, he’d been there for me over the years. I had him cremated and his ashes are in his bed in my bedroom. Was going to scatter them but I like having him around.

We had the vet come to our house, cost a bit more but was more than worth it as the vets always stressed our poor doggy out. We said our good byes and I was there patting her when the vet gave her the sedative before the final injection. She was snoring peacefully when the second injection happened and that was very comforting. Vet then took pup away for cremation. She was old, and ill and we knew it was the thing we had to do.It's an awful thing to have to do, but okay in the end.

@AntHilda I mentioned my old girl at the beginning of the thread, but I just smiled when you said how lucky you were to have her.

My old lady came to us at about 10. She turned up one day at my workplace. We phoned the police and they said no one had reported a missing dog, but could someone take her home for the night. So I volunteered. Walked through the door, and I already had a large breed dog, who was sleeping on ‘his bed’, which humans know as the ‘other sofa’. He looked at her as she jumped into the tiny available space at the end of us bum, and he shuffled up the sofa to give her room to lie down. She circled once and snuggled down. Took her back to work the next day, and the owner phoned and said he did not want her. He came down about an hour later with her papers as she was a pedigree, and the gentleman was in his early 90’s. He said he could no longer walk her or look after her properly etc. So we gained her, and he visited several times a year, until about 3 years later when he passed away. She was an amazing dog. We were lucky to have her, and she just slotted straight into the family.

Hellofor you,I'm so so sorry your lovely dog has come to the end of her life.
Animals know when it is time to go and accept it better than humans and your girl is so tired.
If you can,get your vet to come to the house.We did with ours,in fact we got some sleeping tablets from our vet two hours before he came and our boy was by then sleepy in the garden with us to stop him being scared(hated vet).
There is no way to avoid the pain,but there are things you can do like make up a memory book of photos,maps of favourite walks.Put up a photo of her with you all.
Ask for the strength to keep strong and to be able to be calm so she doesn't pick up your sorry and get worried herself.
Remove her things when you are ready,not before.grieving for a list member of the family is as hard as losing anyone so allow yourself time to do just that.
And read the poem about rainbow 🌈 bridge,she will be ok.💜🎇💜

I'm very sorry about your dog. We had to do this last year. Remover the happy times

Like other PPS, we had the vet come to our house. Our dog was terrified of going to the vets in general so this was much better for us. Both my parents took the day off work and we all spent the morning just loving and gently petting our dog, talking about all the wonderful times we had and sort of saying goodbye in our own way. When the vet came he was quick, our dog felt safe and calm with us, he injected her and within 30 seconds or so she was gone. It was peaceful and the best way we could have wished for her to leave us.

Oh Lordy,
I've not read the thread, for fear of breaking down myself,
but just wanted to offer you OP...

Hello
I am so sorry to hear about your dog, I am a veterinary nurse and just wanted to reassure you that you are doing the right thing. It's very common to feel some sort of guilt at having to make that final decision for your pet, but rest assured it is the last act of kindness you can perform for your friend.
If you are unsure about what happens during the procedure itself or have never had a pet euthanised before, please feel free to PM me and I will talk you through it so you know what to expect. Or you can phone your vet practice and you should be able to speak to a nurse.
Try to get either a very early or very late appointment so that the practice is empty, and settle any bills beforehand so that you can just quickly slip out afterwards when you have said goodbye.

I highly recommend making a memory box for your friend, this can be their collar and tag, hair clippings, a clay paw print impression or ink print of their foot, some photographs, etc. It will give you comfort in the weeks and months ahead. If you are getting ashes back, you can keep them in a lovely urn or even plant them in a potted tree that you can take with you if you ever move house.

If you have the strength, stay with your pet during the procedure. They are definitely comforted by being in the arms of their owner as they slip away.

If you feel like you need someone to talk to, please phone the Blue Cross Pet Bereavement Service, they have trained advisors to talk to you.
All the best.

Most definitely be with your dog, do not let her be alone in her final moments, I thought I couldn’t when I had to do it for my 7 yr old staffy( she had inoperable cancer) but I knew it was the last thing she needed of me, it was very peaceful and quick and broke my heart but she needed me there.
She had her blankie and favourite toy which went with her when she was cremated, we have her ashes at home and still have a cry about her.
Find your strength to let your girl go, best wishes x

Definitely get all your favourite photos of your dog & put them in an album that's helped me when my cat died, just to look through it & remember her best times x

Thinking of you and sending strength for today

I've had to do it twice , I've stayed with them and held them . The vet did say to leave if I wanted but I couldn't . I agree with getting the vet to your home . The saddest thing for me was my 2 year old who was v close to the second saying when I left my brother's house , you forgot Bobby

Thinking of you today. This is the worst bit about pets. The saddest day is always the day you say goodbye. I’m so sorry.

We had to have our poor girl put down, it was actually very peaceful and dignified. I held her as the vet (who was so gentle and kind and i'm sure yours will be too) fitted a cannula (sp?), and her eyes gradually closed and her breathing quietly slowed and she drifted away. The vet left me to have some time with her.

I was devastated. i'm also a bit phobic about dead things (cannot deal when the cat brings home a mouse etc) but this was different, she was still my baby girl, just very still and quiet and no longer aching and old.

Good luck and give yourself time to grieve, time is the only thing that will help x

Thank you everybodu for taking the time to reassure me, Talk me through what happens and offer advice for what to do afterwards. Its done now. Sadly we could not afford a vet to come to the home. I gave her some lovely food and bits of deli ham, lots of cuddles and kisses and playing in the garden (which reassured me I was doing the right thing when she was blindly walking into things). She was fiesty and full of life up to the end and passed with her ears still perked up (she was a cross German shepherd with beautiful ears) I was very brave and cuddled her close telling her she was a good girl as the procedure took place but when she slumped into my arms I broke down crying saying how sorry I was. I just kept repeating 'i've got you' I cuddled and stroked her dead body, my heart was racing fast, it was so wierd (I find death wierd tbh). I've took a little towel home which I used to help walk her in because of her bad hips and I've got a lock of her furr. I'm sitting here with lots of guilt now though.

I will have a look at the rainbow Bridge poem. I've asked for her to be cremated privately and I'm going to go out and buy a nice rose tree to plant at the bottom of the garden and put her ashes there x

@anthilda
I’m glad you were there for her xx
Rest easy lovely girl; a life well lived and well loved ❤️

Oh bless you and your lovely dog. I've been there twice.. it's such a surreal, heartbreaking experience...please dont feel guilty. Your ddog is pain free now on the other side of the rainbow bridge. You did the kindest thing. She'll always be in your heart and she knew how much she was loved right til the end. Be kind to yourself x

You done the right thing op, we also had to make the decision last December, I sobbed like a baby when my husband came home, but we made the right decision, too. Be kind to yourself xx

Letting a much loved pet slip gently away is the final kindness we can do them as owners. It breaks our hearts, but a gentle and painless passing that releases them from pain and frailness really is a gift.

What a lucky dog to have had a wonderful owner to put her wellbeing first (and feed her ham).

Thinking of you

She would have known you were there and how much you loved her.

To help you, maybe look at The Ralph Site (pet loss) - I found it while waiting at the vet hospital one day, there were leaflets.

www.theralphsite.com/