Dear Mumsnet community
I live with my boyfriend. Up until about 3 months ago there was non stop talk about our future, marriage, and kids. He mentioned several times that we would get engaged this year. Took me to look at rings back in January. We agreed to try start a family in 2020. But now, for the past 3 months, I have been told he is "evaluating the situation", he doesn't want to jump into anything anymore, he needs more time to see how things go. End of May he said he thought we should break up, but when he came home the same day after work, he said it was exhaustion talking. He keeps saying there have been too many arguments. The arguments he is referring to are instances in which I brought up a few things he had promised me we would do together, but never happened. As an example, I moved cities to be with him, and kept my job in the previous city I lived in, which means I now commute 2 to 3 hours each morning and evening. The agreement before I moved up was that he would find a day time weekend friendly job, but he ended up accepting an offer for a job which involved him working most evenings and most weekends, which means I moved to a city where I have no friends or family and spend a huge amount of time alone. When I brought this up, he would never say anything and let me get upset and ignore me. The other topic is drag. Back in October he told me repeatedly that it's not a serious hobby and doesn't have a place in our life together so he got rid of some stuff. In January this year he changed his tune and started saying he wants to go on nights out etc. Last month, he said he wouldn't buy any more drag outfits or accessories. Today he told me he received a new pair of shoes he ordered not long ago...
So I'm essentially told one thing, and the result is totally different. I have mentioned how I feel about this to him but he says there's nothing he can do, and that I should be more accepting.
The latest topic causing me a lot of upset is the lack of physical intimacy. He is always "exhausted", "shattered", has no energy and isn't feeling sexual. He has told me I am the only girlfriend he has felt this way with, which really hurt my feelings.
Obviously there are more details to the situation which I am happy to share. I would love to hear your advice, thoughts, and suggestions on this situation. I am struggling to know what to do next. Does this person even love me like they say they do? It is all very confusing to me.
Thank you