to think this wasn't actually funny

[Tyrotoxicity]

Family gathering at the parental abode at the weekend. I had a two-day-old tattoo that was still being cling-filmed. The film was slipping.

I asked my dad if he had any masking tape.
What for, he asked.
Just to tape this, I said, vaguely indicating the tattoo.
No masking tape, he said, but I can find the staple gun if you like.

For context, this is body modification number eleven. When he found out about the first, he threatened me with a pair of pliers and physically assaulted me. The bruise took weeks to fade. I was fifteen. He's made "jokes" about every one since.

AIBU to think, given the history, that these jokes really aren't funny, and to find them actually slightly threatening?

I wouldn't have asked him for the tape to be fair. You seem to be aware he's prone to verbal and physical abuse (WTAF by the way) so why stoke him

The OP did NOT do anything wrong. This ^ is uncomfortably close to 'you made him do it.'

I’m guessing “threatened me with a pair of pliers” is actually your dad wanting to remove your new piercing (the pliers being the tool to do so)? Or you had a tattoo etc and he was threatening to torture you with them? Sorry if that’s graphic but there is quite a difference!

Meh, I would see it as a joke. He’s hardly likely to staple it to you.

How old are you OP? If you don't mind me asking

Can't you avoid telling him...he doesn't like body modification, clearly, so it kinda has a vibe of rubbing it in by making him aware of it. My dad hates body modification. I remember being told I would be thrown out if I came home with tattoos or piercings. (I don't think he would have followed through with that but honestly, I wasn't about to try it!) Now I'm 30 and have just started getting tattoos and have only just got my ear lobes pierced. He still doesn't like the tattoos, so I don't tell him when I get a new one. We both bob along without annoying each other.

It's a fairly standard dad joke on it's own. I remember my dad making comments like that when I got my facial piercing. It was his way of saying he thought it was ridiculous and a bad idea.

With the context when you were younger it was out of order, but I wouldn't have taken it as a serious threat.

he shouldnt have done that but you wre 15 years old afaik thats illegal and he was prob fuming

Could you have maybe wrapped extra clingfilm around?

Not excusing this at all btw

@Tyrotoxicity

YANBU. Vile behaviour from your father. He should be ashamed of himself. What an A-hole. Someone needs to tell him!

Only realised a couple of weeks ago that believing that lie might not have been the best idea. Much thinking to do now.

I think you may need some help with that. Would you see a counsellor?

You both sound dysfunctional.

@GabsAlot

he shouldnt have done that but you wre 15 years old afaik thats illegal and he was prob fuming

WTF? Seriously, what is wrong with people on here.

No matter what a child does nothing warrants being attacked with a pair of pliers FFS.

It's entirely possible to be 'fuming' with any adult or child without resorting to physical violence.

The 'normal' response would be "he shouldn't have done that"....anything after 'but' is just victim blaming.

You both sound dysfunctional

What has the OP done wrong exactly?

he shouldnt have done that but you wre 15 years old afaik thats illegal and he was prob fuming

Facial and body piercings are legal at 15 apart from nipples and genitals

@GabsAlot are you seriously saying it was OK for her father to physically assault her, because he was angry?

Shame on you.

Don't blame him for his comment - tattoos are absolutely awful.

She didn’t say he attacked her with a pair of pliers. She said he threatened her with a pair of pliers and physically assaulted her, which these days could be just grabbing an arm.
Who would even have a staple gun anyway. Clearly wasn’t a serious threat.
I dread to think any of you getting calling up for jury service. People will be hung, drawn and quartered for stealing a sweet.

MilkTrayLimeBarrel
The OP isn't asking about people's opinions on tattoos, nor is anyone else.

The cling should only be left on for a couple of hours to allow for for getting home etc without getting tattoo ink all over your clothes. Then it should be taken off, washed and allowed to air, NEVER re-wrapped. Have you ever wrapped an open wound with cling film?

Yeah I've always been told not to re wrap the cling film too.

no i said he shouldnt but going out to get piercings without permission was stupid

Why?

@GabsAlot that’s twice then that you’ve said “he shouldn’t have BUT...”

You need to understand that there is no “but”.

It is absolutely unacceptable to physically assault someone.

When you add “but” to your sentence, you are saying that his behaviour was excusable. You need to either change your attitude, or be more careful with your words.

I didn't wish to insinuate for a second that the op made him do it. FFS. Just asking a genuine question. If the op wants to continue spending time with him then personally I would actively avoid conversations that cause conflict.