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Original poster

Not sure why but I am pissed off

33 replies

Iamnotagoddess · 16/07/2019 13:10

DH and I were supposed to go on holiday in June but we had to cancel this because of his job.

We now have this week off instead and he ummed and ahhed about agreeeing to book to go away somewhere.

So we are going nowhere. I ended up going into work this morning but have now come home (so now on leave) to find he’s stripped the wallpaper on a room we are decorating, which is a job I had started and actually was quite enjoying doing while he isn’t here.

He has a habit of taking leave to be at home (which is “away”) for him and wanting to spend the week doing jobs around the house. I hate this, it’s not a break for me, sometimes it would be nice to go away.

DH is normally away with work for long periods so the housework/cooking is left to me. We have had my DSDs here this weekend so there is quite a lot of stuff that needs doing (which hasn’t been done because DH has taken on my “fun” job of decorating) and he’s now wanting me to make lunch while he carries on stripping wallpaper. He refused to look at any colours etc yesterday when we were in the DIY shop.

I am on “holiday” or annual leave at least and would actually like to go to the pub for lunch (or something).

I am probably being an immature twat but it helps to have a little vent.

OP posts:
CuriousaboutSamphire · 16/07/2019 13:15

Pack yourself a bag and find an interesting place to spend a few days.

If he tries to stop you tell him fuck off, this is your holiday time and you will NOT spend it in the house watching him do stuff he has decided need doing right now!

You are not bein gimmature, he IS being a twat!

So get onto google and find yourself a B+B somewhere you find inetresting!

sneakypinky · 16/07/2019 13:22

Get on lastminute.com and find a cheap 5 day warm break.

If my DP didn't want to go i'd go without him. Spend a few days on a lounger drinking cocktails, swimming and reading.

Original poster
Iamnotagoddess · 16/07/2019 13:22

And he moans when he gets home is everything isn’t as he likes it (I work full time and when he says this I have said I am your wife not your cleaner).

He does do housework while he is here but he’s totally obsessive about it and will spend 3 hours (yes 3) cleaning our tiny bathroom, unsung a whole container of bathroom cleaner (meaning if I do want to give it a quick wipe there is nothing left) and expects everyone else in the house to do the same Hmm

OP posts:
sneakypinky · 16/07/2019 13:22

Can he not look after his own DD's on his own for a few days?

Original poster
Iamnotagoddess · 16/07/2019 13:23

His DDs were only here for the weekend.

OP posts:
sneakypinky · 16/07/2019 13:25

Bet you could get 5 nights in a 3-4 star in the canaries for £400ish on lastminute.com.

Original poster
Iamnotagoddess · 16/07/2019 13:33

Thing is I don’t really want to go away in my own I would like to spend some time with him.

I have said let’s go out for lunch and he’s like “when I have finished this little bit” one fucking hour ago and the front room looks like a train wreck and he’s still carrying on even though he knows I am mightily fucked off.

OP posts:
AvengerDanvers95 · 16/07/2019 13:35

Thing is I don’t really want to go away in my own I would like to spend some time with him. Why? He sounds awful, tbh.

AvengerDanvers95 · 16/07/2019 13:36

And I would go out for a nice lunch by myself and let Mr Controlling Grumpy Man make his own fucking sandwich.

Original poster
Iamnotagoddess · 16/07/2019 13:37

@AvengerDanvers95

GrinWine

OP posts:
Outnotdown · 16/07/2019 13:38

Go out for lunch yourself. Have something delicious.

Have a chat when you get home, about what you would like from the rest of your holidays

mbosnz · 16/07/2019 13:39

Grab your book, get your car keys, and take yourself off for a nice long lunch with a vino or two. Don't let him manipulate you into spending your precious leave into how he wants you to.

Dulra · 16/07/2019 13:44

I am on “holiday” or annual leave at least and would actually like to go to the pub for lunch (or something).

Tell him!! I am a divil for doing this having plans for the weekend in my head or ideas of what I want to do not communicating them in time and getting irritated when other stuff is organised instead. I understand why you want to do something with him rather then without. Google last minute hotel deals tell him you would like to go away for a couple of nights so you're going to book it don't give him a choice.

SmartPlay · 16/07/2019 13:46

Well, you like going away, he doesn't. What would be the point in making him go on holidays with you, if he'd enjoy it as much as you enjoy your "holidays" at home?
I understand if you don't want to go away alone - some people like it, some don't. What about siblings or friends? Not for this week, that'll probably be too late, but in general? That way each of you get the holidays they enjoy. And you can still do nice stuff together, like going out for dinner, when you're both at home.

Myriade · 16/07/2019 13:50

Go away on your own.
Leave him a lost if all the jobs that needs doing in the house too.

Myriade · 16/07/2019 13:50

Thing is I don’t really want to go away in my own I would like to spend some time with him.

I have said let’s go out for lunch and he’s like “when I have finished this little bit” one fucking hour ago and the front room looks like a train wreck and he’s still carrying on even though he knows I am mightily fucked off.

Does he actually enjoy spending time with you?

youngestisapsycho · 16/07/2019 13:50

If you just booked the holiday would he not go with you? I'd have gone on my own already!

Original poster
Iamnotagoddess · 16/07/2019 13:53

He does like going away but also is happy to potter about at home (tbf because his time here is usually rushed).

I guess I have come home with that “I AM ON HOLIDAY” feeling to be confronted with a large project (which I was enjoying and was perfectly canid doing) being hijacked totally unnecessarily (and I expect he’ll expect gratitude) when after the cancelled holiday and me finally being on leave leaving, thinking he might be ready to go out for lunch, and when I suggest it him continuing the job for another hour while I am sitting seething.

OP posts:
Original poster
Iamnotagoddess · 16/07/2019 13:54

*capable of doing

OP posts:
sneakypinky · 16/07/2019 13:54

If you book something and TELL HIM you've booked it, would be go?

Bluntness100 · 16/07/2019 13:56

Don't let him manipulate you into spending your precious leave into how he wants you to

I'm not sure I understand this. He's apparantly a shit for not letting her manipulate him into spending his leave time how she wants him to, but the same doesn't apply.

Lookop. You can help with the wallpaper stripping. He can spend his leave as he wishes, you can spend yours as you wish. Neither can force the other to do as they don't want.

This is what he wants to do. Either get stuck in and help him, or go off and do your own thing.

GreenFingersWouldBeHandy · 16/07/2019 13:56

I would like to spend some time with him

It really doesn't sound as if you like him very much. Let him crack on with the decorating; or perhaps chip in and help him finish it faster; then suggest you go out for a drink somewhere.

Original poster
Iamnotagoddess · 16/07/2019 13:57

We are restricted a bit as we booked to see something on Saturday (ages ago before cancelled holiday).

I don’t know if he would like it if I booked and told him - he has to ask permission going to certain places.

I did once when he was away for a long time say, when he got back, I have booked this and we are going.

OP posts:
user1494670108 · 16/07/2019 13:57

I assumed from your first post that you were a SAHM, because of his assumption that he could do the "manly" decorating whilst you made lunch and whatever other women's jobs you/he might have in mind.
I think you need to have a conversation before the week slips away from you, at the very least could you plan to decorate together for a part of the day and then have something nice planned for the rest of it?

Pineapplefish · 16/07/2019 13:58

If he's away a lot with work I can understand why a week at home is actually a break for him. But not for you.

Talk to him, OP. Sit down together and come up with a plan for this week that incorporates things that both of you will enjoy. So he can spend some time today redecorating, but tonight you go out to dinner together etc.

I wouldn't be making his lunch though!