Not sure why but I am pissed off

[Iamnotagoddess]

DH and I were supposed to go on holiday in June but we had to cancel this because of his job.

We now have this week off instead and he ummed and ahhed about agreeeing to book to go away somewhere.

So we are going nowhere. I ended up going into work this morning but have now come home (so now on leave) to find he’s stripped the wallpaper on a room we are decorating, which is a job I had started and actually was quite enjoying doing while he isn’t here.

He has a habit of taking leave to be at home (which is “away”) for him and wanting to spend the week doing jobs around the house. I hate this, it’s not a break for me, sometimes it would be nice to go away.

DH is normally away with work for long periods so the housework/cooking is left to me. We have had my DSDs here this weekend so there is quite a lot of stuff that needs doing (which hasn’t been done because DH has taken on my “fun” job of decorating) and he’s now wanting me to make lunch while he carries on stripping wallpaper. He refused to look at any colours etc yesterday when we were in the DIY shop.

I am on “holiday” or annual leave at least and would actually like to go to the pub for lunch (or something).

I am probably being an immature twat but it helps to have a little vent.

Go out to lunch and make it an expensive one. Then go to a film or a museum in your area. Treat this day as if you are 100 percent on holiday. When you return, do not cook anything. You are on holiday. Order takeaway. Something expensive. Have wine. Be expansive. Relax conspicuously. Step right over the stripped wallpaper. Make him get the message. Then, you can book something? Maybe something you can drive to--but he will lose out if he doesn't come with you, because you are going to be SPENDING MONEY and he won't be having fun if eh doesn't come.

I haven't said he's a shit at all.

He's doing what he wants to do - fine.

But she should be doing what she wants to do, rather than sitting around awaiting his pleasure.

Ideally, both would apply a bit of give and take to ensure they both enjoy their time off, and spend some of it together.

Instead of sitting seething go in and say I'm going out for lunch, if you are coming with me we are leaving in 15 minutes, if you aren't coming with me that's fine I'll see you this evening.
And then go.

To be honest, I'd be pissed if he took over a project that I'd been doing especially if it was something I was enjoying doing.

I don't understand though how you got to the first day of both your leave without having discussed a plan for what you both were thinking of doing with the week.

So tell him that as he’s fucked up the holiday you’ll be taking back the project and he can clean the house to his content.

For the next hol, confirm dates and give him a deadline to choose somewhere with you. If he umms and aahs then you just book it after the deadline.

Could you plan a UK break for the rest of the week?

You've got two choices. You want to go out and spend time with him but he's refusing (disguised a diy)

A. Join him and do the house up whilst cooking etc

B. Bugger off and do your own thing

He's not going to change his mind and suddenly want to go to lunch or out for the day

I think you need to communicate more & have have chats about holiday time beforehand, to negotiate & compromise so you both get to do things you enjoy. Sit down tonight & plan your pub lunch, jobs he wants to get done & anything else you both want out of your break.

Just book somewhere non-refundable for you two. Most oeople are too stingy to stay home when money has been spent to go somewhere.