To feel like going away alone?

[jonesyyy]

I just feel like I've had enough and want to go somewhere alone for some peace and quiet and "me" time. My partner is driving me up the wall and we have a young baby.

I admit my DS is a "good" baby, doesn't cause too much fuss but I just want some sleep and a little break. Sick of doing everything in the house and getting nothing in return, it's so bloody draining.

Sorry not sure what I want from this post but it feels good to rant somewhere

Well can you go away for a night or two? I go away for 2 nights every summer (although my kids are teens) and I love it. It revives me.

@Titsywoo I can't leave my DS though so I'm just stuck. Plus I'd miss him terribly.

I do it every few months. It’s amazing. Do it.

I feel like time away is what I need but I don't think I could deal with the guilt of leaving my son.

How old is DS? The first time I left mine, I literally went to the Travelodge in town. Close enough to rush back if I really was needed, far enough to have a bath alone and a full nights sleep. Would your partner support you in it?

Can you arrange with your partner or any friends / family who you trust to babysit that you can have 24-30 hours away? Just book a night in a Premier Inn and take a good book or a tablet with Netflix / something downloaded and whatever else is relaxing for you - bottle of wine, face mask, etc. Get up in the morning and take yourself for a walk then a nice coffee or breakfast or whatever you enjoy. Even if you spend the entire time asleep in bedsheets that you haven't had to buy, wash, iron, or tuck in, it's time and money well spent.

I hope you can make this happen ASAP, OP, and again at regular intervals when you need them.

My baby is 3 months old. I don't feel like my partner would support me in this. He really doesn't understand how hard it is sometimes being alone with a baby, he thinks I lounge around the house all day doing nothing. Obviously this is not true as I look after DS, do the housework and everything else that comes with it.

I feel really stuck and I'm so frustrated I just don't know what to do.

@Chochito That sounds like pure heaven.

You wouldn't be leaving your son, you'd be spending a short period of time somewhere different and then coming back. Think of it like an extended version of being in a different room to him.

Listen to chochito!
Book a room and do it

Want to tell us more about your partner's role in how you're feeling right now? Maybe we can help.

My mum sometimes offers to have my son, but she makes me feel like I have to rush. So therefore I'm always worrying about what time I'll have to pick him up and can't enjoy the few hours I have to myself.

Plus your partner needs to know what looking after a baby really entails. Then he can learn to listen to you.

@thetimekeeper Thank you, I didn't think of it like that. Maybe that will help with my guilt.

My partner works full time so he often uses that against me whenever I ask him to help me out. It's always a debate on who's more tired or who's done the most that day. It's so draining.

At the weekend I went for a short nap and he really begrudged me for it. It shouldn't be like that.

I really feel like I get no respite. I'm tearing up thinking of it at the moment.

Yep every single time I had childcare for my dd I would get quizzed on what I was doing. Always felt like I had to be doing something. Rather than just resting and sleeping.

See time out as an investment in yourself

@Howzaboutye Yes that's exactly how I feel. I just want a few hours to lounge around, DC-free!

Omg parenting isn't a tiredness competition!

Plus he should be supporting you!

You are also working full time. Actual full time like 24/7 on call. Just with zero pay.

Perhaps it's time to point that out

@Howzaboutye Exactly, but he doesn't see it like that. Being a mum is bloody exhausting.

Have you said it to him that plainly?

And just go and book the room and do exactly what you want and need to do.
He really needs to experience at least 1 lot of 24 hours in your shoes.

@Howzaboutye Absolutely, but he thinks It's a joke and brushes it off.

Perhaps I'll go and stay at my parents this weekend for a night or two. I feel I need to get away for my own sanity!

Some men just don't understand that maternity leave is what it actually is. You have time off work because you can't do your (paid) work because you are at the beck and call of a tiny helpless person 24/7.
I vote for the premier inn! Leave him to cope while you relax. Nothing bad will happen to baby in your absence. What he does won't be perfect, but he will manage. And maybe understand better!

Nope
Premier Inn.

Can't even afford a premier inn right now 😭💔

Would you look after DS if he wanted a weekend away? Almost certainly! So YANBU, you're just tried and need the break.

I remember going away with DH when DS was little - maybe 10 months? We went for a long weekend in Europe for two nights and the first night we just slept! Even missed hotel breakfast which is unheard of for me - but the uninterrupted sleep was worth every penny!