To feel like going away alone?

[jonesyyy]

I just feel like I've had enough and want to go somewhere alone for some peace and quiet and "me" time. My partner is driving me up the wall and we have a young baby.

I admit my DS is a "good" baby, doesn't cause too much fuss but I just want some sleep and a little break. Sick of doing everything in the house and getting nothing in return, it's so bloody draining.

Sorry not sure what I want from this post but it feels good to rant somewhere

@HeroicAlien Uninterrupted sleep would be bloody bliss.

What was the division of housework/home life like before baby arrived?

@Teaandcrisps It was shared more evenly. We'd have a designated day in the week where we'd just clean the house and nothing else

Isn't like that now though.

It sounds like you've done straight talking with you OH, so I would stop expecting him to step up and just set the boundaries yourself.

I literally used to hand baby to my OH once he got in from work and disappear for a couple of hours every day. Some days there was dinner other days there wasnt. I would often phone and ask OH to pick up dinner, and when the question comes what shall we have, it's a firm 'oh whatever you want to cook'. Some days the house was tidy but others it was a tip.

Either way, it is not your sole responsibility to look after house, baby, dinners etc, so stop. If you carry on, that will be the norm.

If I may suggest that its odd for you to have to go your parents for the support you need right now - that's your OHs job and shame on him.

Do you think this might work?

I think it's really important that you leave your DH with the baby overnight. He needs to learn what it's like or things are never going to change.

Also I think it's really sad that he isn't supportive of you needing a night off. To be honest he sounds like a dick.

Are you breastfeeding? If so, leaving overnight might not be practical - or helpful, as you might end up even more emotional and uncomfortable. Even if you’re not, leaving a newborn might not make you feel any better.

In that case, you need to reframe the way you’re talking yo DP. You don’t want his ‘help’; you want him to ‘parent’, and part of that means supporting his co-parent. Sit down with him and explain how you’re feeling. Point out that his full time job is 9-5 (or whatever) and your full time job is 24/7. He needs to work out how to even that out: equal amounts of free time each. If you choose to spend your free time sleeping, that’s ok! Cooking/cleaning/washing are not ‘free time’; they are work. HTH.

These men are such bellends, and the level of cognitive dissonance is unreal. When it's you looking after the baby you do nothing, it's easy, you lie around all day yet suddenly when it's them looking after the same baby it's exhausting and impossible after working. Huh.