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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To be so upset at wedding photos

33 replies

StillWould · 14/07/2019 22:50

Got married last month and had an amazing day. Loved it. I felt like I looked good on the day (hair and makeup professionally done but still looked like me, but a better than usual version). I told my photographer that I was very sensitive about being photographed as I am not photogenic and asked to avoid certain angles because I don’t have the best jawline.

The photos are in and in most of them I look nice, apart from the ones with DH. Not a single photo with him is nice.

Chins, fucking chins everywhere. From the worst possible angles. I am not ugly (I think) but I look like Shrek in the photos, apart from with other people where I look fine.

There are no photographs of us together that we can use which pisses me off so much as I wanted at least one photograph we could share and also the photographer took us off throughout the day for ‘couples portraits’ and now I wish I had just stayed at the party.

I know I can take a decent photograph as there are loads of me looking ok with everyone apart from my husband.

I promise I am not a bridezilla and our wedding was a small relaxed affair.

Sorry for the lengthy rant but I am just so upset. I don’t cry easily but I have been really tearful this weekend, I am so upset and disappointed.

AIBU that I just wanted one photograph of me and my lovely husband where I don’t look like shit?

OP posts:
Isadora2007 · 14/07/2019 22:51

I’m pretty sure that your guests will have photos of you together and I bet you can find anon professional one of you both that you love.

BuffaloCauliflower · 14/07/2019 22:52

Have you told your photographer how you feel? What do they say?

Isadora2007 · 14/07/2019 22:52

That’s a non professional, not anon professional!!

Rufusthebewilderedreindeer · 14/07/2019 22:54

Could you dress up and retake the pictures?

Every time i look at my photos i get pissed off that no one thought to pouf my depoufed sleeve

I have a poufed one and an unpoufed one

mummy1970abc · 14/07/2019 22:55

It’s totally not unreasonable. I’m very in photogenic. I spent ages with our novice photographer before the day to get used to each other. We ended up with some nice photos.
I know it’s not the same.. but why don’t you ask him back, get dressed up again and do a few more? Ultimately it’s about looking back in the day with a few lovely memories.
I’m sure lots of people will come on here and tell you that you have memories.. but I know how important it is to have few beautiful photos of an amazing day, around your house for the rest of your life. X

Flyingsouthwiththeswallows · 14/07/2019 22:57

Ask the Photographer if there are any others of the two of you that he has not shared with you.

It maybe that he would consider any rejected shots less than perfect for technical reasons, but you can find one you like there.

LadyTiredWinterBottom2 · 14/07/2019 22:58

Unless you are green, l doubt you look.lole Shrek.

Tou arent being U, of course. But are they REALLY that bad..? Can the photog touch any of them up a little?

Rufusthebewilderedreindeer · 14/07/2019 22:58

Oh now that an excellent idea flying

Sometimes the best photos are technically ‘wrong’

Original poster
StillWould · 14/07/2019 22:58

The photographer is lovely and has said that to them we just look really happy and joyful. To be fair we do but I want to look nice not ‘full of laughter with a thick neck’.

I am sure our guests will have nice photos, I guess I am just upset that I spent ££££s. I am not looking for money backs from the photographer I am just really upset to discover that I am actually a bit of an ugly fucker when I have always previously felt reasonably happy in my looks (whilst knowing my flaws).

OP posts:
GetMeOffThisCycleOfMisery · 14/07/2019 22:58

Oh bless you, I know that there's no point in saying you probably looked as beautiful as you felt on the day, as I'm my own worst critic in photos, I know where you're coming from. YANBU to want one pic of you both that you're happy with.

Can you find a lovely one of you both that's taken in a group shot, here you both can be cropped close enough to make it a photo in its own right?

Failing that, ask guests. You'd be surprised by shots people can capture on their phones.

MyNewBearTotoro · 14/07/2019 22:59

Are you sure you’re not being over critical because of the feeling the photos should be perfect? I bet they’re not as bad as you think, generally we are far more critical of ourselves than we would be about others. Maybe ask your DH to pick the one he likes best of the two of you together as he may not be overthinking it as much as you.

44PumpLane · 14/07/2019 22:59

Photoshop is your friend here..... Find a pic of you with your husband where your face is in a similar direction and similar size to another pic of you that you like, someone good with Photoshop should be able to switch your face from the nice pic to the couple pic without issue.

A friend of mine corrected a picture from my wedding that we were using for the thank you cards, I couldn't believe that you couldn't see her edits at all.

GetMeOffThisCycleOfMisery · 14/07/2019 23:01

I'd say it's less about the £££££'s spent that's an issue here, but more about your low self-esteem, which I really hope you're able to boost somehow. Flowers Hope you get a shot that you eventually cherish.

Needmorecoffeeortea · 14/07/2019 23:02

Have you posted this before? I am so sure I’ve read this exact post before. Sorry you’re not happy with the photos.

GetMeOffThisCycleOfMisery · 14/07/2019 23:03

@44PumpLane had an excellent point. I know enough Photoshop to fart around with, for example I put my head on Lolo Ferrari's body and my ex's head on Mark Walberg in his Calvin's! 😅 They were so realistic, yet so ridiculous that our friends could obviously tell it was a Photoshop. If I can do it, than a professional certainly can.

Original poster
StillWould · 14/07/2019 23:12

@Needmorecoffeeortea no I haven’t posted about this before. Until we got the photos I couldn’t have been happier about our wedding. Which is the important thing I know.

Thanks for the suggestions everyone, I just hate the thought that I have to be photoshopped to look ok. I’ll always know it’s not a real shot.

I honestly don’t have low self esteem, or at least I didn’t until now. My husband (I do love saying that) says I am beautiful but even he is like Hmm at the photos of us together (in a nice way)!

I guess I just need to chalk it down to bad luck on the day and get over it, my over the top reaction has surprised me and I just needed to vent instead of cry, thank you.

OP posts:
bingbongnoise · 14/07/2019 23:12

@StillWould

As a pp said, can you not just dress up in the same gear and retake the pics with just you two?

mellicauli · 14/07/2019 23:16

Most of my "official" wedding photos are terrible too. It was such a waste of money. My Father in Law took better ones. My advice: just put them in a drawer and forget about them.

Judashascomeintosomemoney · 14/07/2019 23:18

No need to dress up again, surely they can be photoshopped?

WhenOneFacePalmDoesntCutIt · 14/07/2019 23:19

YANBU

start by asking if there are other shots
then ask guests
and consider photoshop - just photoshop DH on a good one!

Judashascomeintosomemoney · 14/07/2019 23:20

When I say photoshopped, I mean whatever the professional photographer version is in terms of improving their digital images.

mummy1970abc · 14/07/2019 23:21

Cameras lie. Photoshop is your friend. Some people are photogenic some aren’t. Go dress up and get the photographer to take some more.
And btw.. the fat neck.. next time - lift your head upwards as far as you can and the lower your chin..
your photographer should have shown you how to do this.
Don’t feel sad about the photos.
Like someone else on this thread said.. wait for the snaps from friends..my favourite one came from one of my husband’s friends - much later on during the evening.
Hugs - and congratulations xx ❤️

WoofWoofMooWoof · 14/07/2019 23:22

I'm a photographer and good with Photoshop. If you have some nice photos that your guests took, please feel free to contact me, and I can edit them for you to make them look professional Grin.

HerRoyalNotness · 14/07/2019 23:22

Is there a group one with you and DH that is nice that they could photoshop everyone else out of?

I get what you mean. I look ok, maybe pretty, in real life but take TERRIBLE photos. You’d have to take 50 of me to get 1 or 2 good ones.

BackforGood · 14/07/2019 23:26

I'd say it's less about the £££££'s spent that's an issue here, but more about your low self-esteem

I know you have disagreed, but this was my thought too.
Obviously we don't know you, but I know in all the thousands of photos I must have seen of myself in over 50 years, I can count on one hand the photos where I think "Oh, I look nice on this one".

Fact - some of us aren't that photogenic BUT it doesn't really matter in the scheme of things. Ultimately, that is what I look like on photographs. I'm never going to be a model, but this is about 'capturing the day I married dh', not about comparing me with whoever is considered 'beautiful' these days.
Know that you are more than a photo.