Step kids have head lice

[motherhen83]

My partner has children who stay with us every other week for 7 days, they are amazing kids but they have constant headlice. When they come to us my children catch them and I spend a fortune on lice treatment not only for my kids but for his too. As soon as they go back to their mum the treatment stops. I asked him to have a word with her which he did but nothing has changed. Today I told them if it isnt sorted I wont have them here. He went mad and said I was out of order. It's my house too though and I'm fed up with it. Am I being unreasonable saying I wont have them here until the lice are gone? This has been going on for months and I've had enough

Use the spray on gel, on dry hair. Minimum 15 minutes, then shampoo off. It's a bloody pita to wash off but it works. Do it the minutes they get in the house, the the day they leave use the leave in spray so they go home with it on, to be washed off next time their hair is washed. Combing with conditioner isn't enough.

OP,

I would insist that your their father checks and treats them as soon as they arrive.
Every time.

This can be a very difficult cycle to break.

Conditioner and nitty gritty comb is the best.

Cheapest conditioner smothering the hair.

Plastic bag on the hair for an hour.

Then comb through thoroughly.

This really works.

It is an awful pain in the arse though.

I appreciate you spoke out of frustration.

It's back breaking standing and combing through hair.

Get their father to do it.

My nana used to use teetree and mayonnaise (not joking) rub it in, put a plastic bag on our heard to cover it, leave it for a bit and comb it through with a bit comb. Always worked. Smelt rank

Why are you so sure it isn’t your own DCs who are passing the nits on? It could be that the nits May have come originally from your DHs DCs , but as you have your DSC every 7 days your DCs could just as easily be passing them on too. It’s very difficult to say for definite who the carriers are tbh. And seeing as you seem to have 50/50 access, you and your DH are equally responsible.

My stepdaughter arrives frequently with nits and she's 14!

Her mother blames my much younger children every time and then they play this stupid dance that DONT TELL ANYONE I HAVE NITS
Due to embarrassment.
So teenage SD and her friends are in a never ending cycle of sharing nits.

Meanwhile DP's ex doesn't bother to check or treat and blames me.

My DD has waist length thick hair so it's a total ball ache.

I haven't banished SD but agree my DP is responsible - to check, to treat and to moan at his ex

Yabu

Head lice can be spread through the sharing of hats, towels, brushes, helmets, hair ties, etc. There is also a possibility of spreading head lice via a pillow, headrest etc They can’t survive longer than 24 hours off the host.

Nitty gritty comb, loads of conditioner and tea tree oil works.

I’d be pissed off at constantly cleaning heads up of headlice and actually I agree with you OP. Tell their father to deal with it and make it clear HE does the combing etc. I’d also be firm on the sharing of combs, brushes, hats, towels and anything that comes into contact with their head.

How people can have them for months is beyond me!

Google Nenuco head lice prevention. They do a bundle of a shampoo (treatment + prevention) and a cologne spray (prevention alone.)
Smells amazing (like lemons), no harsh chemicals, relatively cheap and it works. Use a Nitty Gritty comb too.

My DD has so far been head lice free.

As for banning step-kids? You are definitely being very unreasonable. And very nasty.
It's not their fault that they keep catching them. I can't imagine how they would feel when finding out they're not allowed to spend time with their dad because they have head lice.
I'm not surprised your partner went mental.
You may have had enough but they are his children - if the roles were reversed and he attempted to ban your kids, what would you be saying?

It’s not their fault.
My DSD’s mother never used to bother attempting to sort their nits. Used to drive me mad and made me feel all itchy.
Nitty Gritty comb and conditioner. 👍🏻

YANBU, I would not have lice infested children in my home. It’s not fair on your children either.

Yeah I do just that. We comb them with conditioner, change pillow cases we literally do everything i cant understand why they keep getting them.

I thought you spent a fortune on lice treatment?

and yes, even if they are lice infested - they are should come to yours. Your DP is there dad. so I would think it's as much their home as their mums is there home.

I would not have lice infested children in my home

Oh do be serious. It happens. It happens to clean people. It happens to people with clean homes. Are your children going to live in the shed if they get them?

OP i get your frustration. My one DC has really long hair and in one particular year at primary school kept repeatedly getting headlice. It was constant with the nitty gritty comb , Hedrin and such complete waste of time .I worked out that it was one particular child whose mum just wasn't treating them .That child has since moved and my DC has had headlice only once since .But it drove me to despair having to having to do their hair regularly not to mention how much it upset my DC .But you can't ban them OP it isn't their fault, i can appreciate it is highly likely spoke out of frustration but to ban them would be cruel .Have they tried the leave in tree tree spray you can buy that suppose to deter the lice , might be worth a try .Oh and DinoEggz it's not fair on the children to be banned it's not their fault they are 'lice infected' as you put it .Jeez you make it sound like they are highly contagious .

Totally out of order.

Aww poor kids ot mist be really uncomfortable for them.DP needs to keep on at their mother, it's not fair on them.

Imagine having a mother who can't be arsed to sort out headlice.

Thankfully they have you to do it.

Don't punish them for her neglect.

YABU. I'm not surprised he went mad, you can't ban his children because they have nits.

What would happen if your children kept picking them up at school every time you treated them? Would you bank them from the house too?

How do you know their mum is not treating them? Head lice is passed on so easily at school. You sound so quick to pass the blame on to your DP ex.

I can only imagine how you’d react if he said your kids had to stay at their dads if they had nits.

Once they start doing the rounds in a class or school it’s a ball ache to break the cycle. We had it one year in DS’s class where it took the summer break to break the cycle.

If finances allow do you have and local headline services where I am you can go and they use some kind of hot air device to remove them but it’s quite expensive but they guarantee getting rid

*headlice

Of course you can’t ban them and it could be kids at school who keep passing them on. But your dp should be buying treatment and washing and combing hair and changing and washing bedlinens too. Thats parenting. Totally ok to ban someone’s kids if their parent won’t parent them in your house, although of course it should be followed up with banning their dad too.

If yours are nit free, spray them a couple times a day with lavender oil (watered down in spray bottle) it seems to work to keep them off you, then at least you don’t have to deal with all of you having them and their father can concentrate on clearing their hair.

God, where is the woman's pride?! I'd rather die a thousand deaths than send my children to ex-husband and his partner (formerly the OW!) with constant headlice. She's a disgrace and YANBU.

Oh, it's not the kids' fault though, so although I totally understand why you're pissed off, you can't ban them from coming. The situation would boil my blood too though!