To be dreading the summer holiday

[BigRedLondonBus]

I feel like an awful mum for saying this but I am really dreading the summer holidays. I have 4 children and I am a single parent (ex is absent) so I am with them all the time as I don’t have any help with them. I am really not sure how I’m going to survive the summer holidays! I am really not looking forward to it as I just know it’s going to be a nightmare. They fight constantly, I won’t have much money to do things either and even on the weekends the house is always a tip because they make so much mess so the holidays will be even worse. Aibu to be dreading it? Is anyone else dreading it?

Do the older ones play out with friends?

What do they normally do? What do they like? What toys do they have?

Arent playdates more about the children's friends rather than yours?

I know you aren't friends with mums at school but your children have friends. Can they not come round to play? The kids will be occupied then

I loved the summer holidays when mine were small but that's because I work in a school and also was on holiday. Definitely I agree to embrace the mess the house will be in. We visited every park and they loved any with splash pools. It was easier for me as I just had 2 children close in age so we could travel easily on trains and buses. Some church groups run fab holiday play schemes where you could drop the older ones to. Families online are good to find out what's happening in your area. The garden is great to let them just get on with it. Mine were happy with sprinklers and the paddling pool making assault courses.The early morning cinema is good value and the libraries also put on free activities. Always made sure we went for a long walk each day. I miss the park days as mine are teenagers and don't want to to anywhere w without moaning!

Make good use of the garden- a sprinkler for the hose for example for water play - most kids like that kind of thing on hot days.

Change the routine a bit - a lazy brunch with some different food, picnic lunches in the garden.

Collect lots of boxes and paint/glue etc for not so nice days.

Make some dens.

If they like science maybe get a couple magnify glasses for bug hunts or even a microscope.

Give them a patch of garden to plant up and put seeds in for late summer/autumn veg or flowers.

Simple days out to park/woods etc -
See what free events are going on locally.

Personally I love the summer holidays for the lack of routine. Lazy mornings without the school run chaos. We don’t have money to do much and I’m a single parent too but we do make most of the outdoor space we have.

There's a mum I follow on Instagram called Badmamsclub who has posted how she plans her summer holiday with 3 kids similar ages to yours, she's very down to earth and skint too - she says it really helped with the worry about how to cope in the holidays.

Mine are older now but i thought it looked like an excellent plan.

I think structure is what you need.
Get the kids to think of their fav things to do. Make a list of what is cheap or free and plan the holidays. Post on a local facebook page for ideas too and any cheap summer passes.
Make a timetable of what you are going to do.
We have passes for the zoo which I plan to drag out by doing picnics and all the parks, we have lots of local parks we can visit, some we haven't been to. Treasure hunts, den building, feed the ducks, build obstacle courses in the garden etc.
Everyone has to collect 10 things and put it away at the end of the day to help clear the mess.

@LynetteScavo

I normally work in term time (I'm a teacher) but for me teaching is less stressful than looking after two pretty much non verbal children every day in the holidays.

Groupon is good to look at too, we got annual passes one year to a local attraction that cost less than a day trip there. Also a local ice cream/pudding place we got a drink, pudding for 2 for £7ish that normally costs a lot more. That was a lovely treat for them.

Check out carboots for cheap games/dvds. One year we got a couple of imaginext/happyland big buildings for 50p each for their figures. Kept them occupied for hours. Sold on after the holidays for more!

Those colour in play houses from hobby craft are good. I've got mine the colour your own dolls houses for these holidays. Will be a project for them and they can play with them too.

Nowtv/ Netflix have free trials if you don't have them which could have new films/t.v. programmes to watch. Some microwave popcorn from Poundland and sweets.

Early morning cinema.

Getting the bus or train to different parks or beaches or museum's. I live on south coast so we've been all over Sussex, and up to London, it's always an adventure and common joke with my girls that we will get lost at some point and then we have to follow the dot on Google maps 🤣

Just wanted to say OP you don’t sound like a shit mum and please don’t beat yourself up for this. I struggled with the summer holding when mine were younger, and I have a supportive partner and family. They’re so long...almost seven weeks where I live! I honestly applaud you for making it through them with all of your hair and your sanity still intact .
Before they break up, would it be possible to get phone numbers for some other school mums? Trips to the park are much better with adult company and other kids for yours to play with.

YANBU. I'm a widow and skint but thankfully have some family help. 6 weeks is very daunting so perhaps give yourself a treat for each week you 'survive'.

Some ideas: picnic, park, farm, beach, museums (lots are free), libraries, Geocaching, treasure hunts/eyespy, catching pokemon, dog walking/sitting, washing the car, chalking on the ground/fence.

Look on Pinterest for craft ideas.

Do you have a school parents Facebook page or anything? I bet if you post that Billy in 3C (or whatever) is going to be at the park this afternoon you'd get loads of people wanting to join you! More people will be in the same situation as you than you think.

Thank you for starting this thread.

I also have 4 children, similar ages, and am dreading the holidays.

This has given me a lot of ideas.

Our local council publishes a booklet of summer holiday ideas, a lot are free or very cheap. Is there something like this in your area? You can check the council website.

There are quite a few free or nominal charge Playschemes near me (but we are in a deprived inner city area, may not be the case if you live in a wealthy area)

Check out your local churches, a lot offer free holiday clubs. My DD is helping out at 2, one the first week of August, one the last. They even get a packed lunch included and a family fun day/evening BBQ on the last day.

Also, google Christians against Poverty, they give a lot of tips for summer holidays.

You need to try and change your mindset. Decide you’re going to have a fab six weeks.
So firstly, get yourself to the library and sign up for the summer holiday challenge - it’s read six books in six weeks and all of yours can take part - it’s free and they get rewarded with stickers etc. That’s one morning or afternoon every week sorted.
Give your older ones an option to choose an activity. Use local parks and pack up a picnic. Set them challenges - how many things can you fit in a Match box or tree and leaf rubbings.
Reward their good behaviour with marbles in a jar and any fighting or arguments gets them taken away. Decide on how many they can achieve until they get a reward - which can be their choice of ice lolly or an activity or whatever you decide!
It is a long time but remember kids will take their lead from you so have a positive attitude and a fun outlook on the holidays.

Geocaching!

Perfect summer holiday activity. Gets you all out of the house and is so exciting for the kids! We are going to make our own geocache trail to upload this summer. Never done one before.

Also we will be decorating some Isla Stones to hide around our local area. I think most places have their own equivilant, Notts Rocks Etc. But again a nice activity for the kids to sit down and do, then gets you out of the house.

I was a single parent of 3.

Timetable for holidays was great. Look out for free activities - sports in the park, library events, we did the reading challenge every year at the library, try Groupon see if they have any cheap days out (eg laser quest is usually £5 for 2 games at ours) as a special treat, cheap cinema mornings, free museums, picnics, baking, making pizzas, older ones could be given £5 and need to cook a 2 course meal for all of you. Meet up with friends, cheap swimming, we have a council run country park near us charge £2 for mountain bike hire.

Re house our rule is every morning get washed dressed tidy room, make bed have breakfast then one chore each before any electrical. Also are they old enough for washing pots etc we have rotas for that.

Swimming, outdoor paddling pools, or we just go down to a stream with picnic, towel and change of clothes, give them a task to make a video about something make it a competition and do a screening, make a den in garden, have a movie afternoon with popcorn, bake off.

Routine is my top tip - everyday wake up time and bed time same, one planned activity per day, read, hour on PS, chore, older one may have homework/ revision, eldest does volunteering once a week and has a little job one day a week.

And lastly it doesn't matter if house is a mess during day get the kids to help tidy it at end of each day it'll take less time and mean they'll think about mess they make in mean time!

Pound shop craft supplies, get a big tub and fill with water in the garden
Give them Tupperware boxes etc. Mine would spend hours playing with water

library - often have activities & you can borrow books (& look up activities to do with dc!) & borrow dvds/videos quite cheaply.
so you have garden
get books on flowers plants insects older ones have to try & draw them & colour them in - you draw some simple pictures for younger ones (paper & art stuff pound shops are your friends :) )
salt dough! paper mache cardboard boxes & cereal boxes get them to make up model town get little one to splash paint on (outside in old clothes!) model garden ie cheap small seed trays bit of compost than go round garden & find things that look like scaled down tree plants flower & grass & clothes lines (paper & string!) grass is moss tiny weed flowers
shoe boxes make great houses & pictures from magazines can be furniture etc
get older children to help younger ones to do things (for which you give reward ie choice of video or book from library
sticker books

@LynetteScavo I work part time, term time, and am at home with DC2 the rest of the week while DC1 is at school. DH works long hours inc nights and weekends. Work is my down time.

Dreading arguing with dd.
Teenager-thinks she can do what she wants at the moment.
Having to rely on her to look after her db some Mornings and it's just going to be a bloody nightmare I can see.
Roll on winter!

Can you get in contact with some school mums at all? Start building bridges by offering play dates in the summer. This will at least give the kids something to do and an incentive to behave!

If the weather stays nice then plenty of park trips, try a few different ones if you can. Trips to the library and the older children can do the reading challenge. Trip into nearest town to go to £ shop for crafts or new colouring pens.

Yes def what someone said about posting in class Facebook pages that you’re going to the park. I’ve no doubt people will join you. Also, maybe plan the first week. Get some ideas in like the park on Monday, den building in the garden on Tuesday, a friend round on Wednesday etc. Before you know it you’ll be a week in and the kids will have been busy and tired. Then do the same for the following week. That’s what I’m about to do. Once one week has gone by the rest will follow.