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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU to think DD has ADHD

33 replies

Auiti · 13/07/2019 20:37

OK shes 12
Shes done 3 hours of comp grade gymnastics TODAY so maybe a bit tired by now?
Er no she loves tennis also.
and the last 1 1/2 hours she has being wacking tennis balls on the house walls, practising.

Come school days, she is clueless as to were her Uniform is even though its been washed and given to her.

She loses everything thats given to her, despite being VERY intelligent.

Im so worried.

OP posts:
herculepoirot2 · 13/07/2019 20:40

Please ask for this thread to be deleted, if you are being lighthearted.

If you are seriously concerned, well, see a GP. But no, a child having lots of energy and occasionally misplacing her uniform isn’t showing classic signs of ADHD in my opinion.

Iggly · 13/07/2019 20:41

She sounds lovely! Why the worry.

Children have the potential for a lot more than we give them credit for.

And so what if she does. She’s still your daughter.

FudgeBrownie2019 · 13/07/2019 20:42

Can you arrange a meeting with school to ask their advice and how she copes there? Also could you see your GP and ask for support from them?

At home could you make a small laminated list for each day so that before she leaves school she can check the list and ensure she has everything ready for hometime? And could you do the same for home so that each morning she knows she checks her list on the bedroom wall to see what she'll need for that day?

Original poster
Auiti · 13/07/2019 20:56

Can you arrange a meeting with school to ask their advice and how she copes there?

She has already been diagnosed with Aspergers.

Thus she has access to the Educational Psychologist who suggested she may have ADHD too.
Given she cannot sit still even now.

OP posts:
helloisitmeyourelookingfor · 13/07/2019 20:59

ADHD like autism can present differently in girls than boys so is often missed

You are not unreasonable to ask the question

Missed diagnosis and subsequent lack of support can have a big impact on mental health so if you suspect please talk to your GP

Lack of organisational skills, excessive talking (particularly over the top of people, talking obsessively about 1 subject or frequently switching topic), daydreaming, distractibility -all things to look out for

NotYourHolidayDick · 13/07/2019 21:02

If she can concentrate on doing 90 mins of tennis just whacking a ball against a wall I'd say nope. Sounds normal energetic teen to me.

But I'd really not push an ADHD diagnosis anyway. It's a fucking curse in adulthood!

inthebackground · 13/07/2019 21:03

To be fair she sounds like me Grin

Stamz · 13/07/2019 21:07

I have adhd and aspergers op, definetly pursue a diagnosis if you think it's a possibility.
Also being able to focus on one thing like tennis or other things doesn't mean no adhd, you can have hyper focus, adhd isn't a total lack of focus. You can have adhd and concentrate really well on typically things that interest you.

QueenoftheIceAge · 13/07/2019 21:13

“If she can concentrate on doing 90 mins of tennis just whacking a ball against a wall I'd say nope. Sounds normal energetic teen to me.”

Ignore this unhelpful nonsense written above. Hyperfocus is one of the absolute mainstays of ADHD.

blue25 · 13/07/2019 21:22

Not a label I'd be seeking. What difference would it make? Surely you don't want her medicated?

NotYourHolidayDick · 13/07/2019 21:22

Unhelpful nonsense 😂
There's nothing that stands out as abnormal from the OP. Obviously OP can ask the question but being scatter brained and energetic is mega normal.

arethereanyleftatall · 13/07/2019 21:23

My dd is exactly the same, in terms of your op, but tbh I've never thought she has adhd.
We're at a swim gala tonight and tbh most of the kids have already done one or two other forms of exercise today. At least 4 of them will leave their towels poolside when they go to change.

NotYourHolidayDick · 13/07/2019 21:26

But hyper focus is something I've never been told about. Off to hyper focus on researching it 😁

Stamz · 13/07/2019 21:26

Not a label I'd be seeking.
Labels are for jams, diagnosises are for people.

If she has adhd, she will still have it diagnosed or not, it can give an understanding to why your brain/concentration works a certain way, opens up the options for adhd medication.

Justanotherlurker · 13/07/2019 21:28

If she did have ADHD you would have noticed long before this age, this isn't even lighthearded it's someone with no knowledge wanting to give a label as an out.

It's pretty offensive to be so flippant to be honest.

crankysaurus · 13/07/2019 21:30

If it's been suggested by the EdPsych then it might be useful following it up with school and seeing how she's finding class. Lots of energy alone wouldn't necessarily be ADHD but if you have concerns then it's worth following up. You can ask for a referral through your GP or possibly other routes she may already be part of for her Aspergers DX.

HarperIsBazaar · 13/07/2019 21:31

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

crankysaurus · 13/07/2019 21:32

Labels are for jams, diagnosises are for people.

I like that, Stamz.

Justanotherlurker · 13/07/2019 21:40

you think a mother who's dd has been diagnosed with an ASD is being flippant to worry her dd might also have adhd

Didn't see the follow up to be fair, and am a little raw as my DS is now on medication for the day and night time, at a much younger age, the groups I have been to are all the same age group which is a lot younger than 12, just probably a little raw about it all tbh

thatwouldbeanecumenicalmatter · 13/07/2019 21:44

Not a label I'd be seeking. What difference would it make? Surely you don't want her medicated?

Yes well thank you for your 'valuable' input Dr @blue25 - why bother posting on a thread about something you clearly have bugger all knowledge about?

Auiti - go see your DDs Senco - they might be able to get the ball rolling/get your DD on the waiting list (it's bloody long) before the end of term, or you can see her GP and they'll refer. Although really they should have discussed this with you already after the Ed Psych assessment - did they not say anything?

crankysaurus · 13/07/2019 21:45

Hope you're doing alright, Justanotherlurker. It can be a tough rollercoaster to ride, hope things get easier and the meds help Brew

thatwouldbeanecumenicalmatter · 13/07/2019 21:49

Also worth asking MNHQ to get this thread moved to Special Needs boards.

Justanotherlurker · 13/07/2019 21:53

Hope you're doing alright, Justanotherlurker. It can be a tough rollercoaster to ride, hope things get easier and the meds help

I'm not to be honest and probably lashed out, had to go through the bad parenting questioning because I'm single and working, feeling guilty about giving my DS meds even though I notice the difference. Not my thread though so I will back out. sorry op

crankysaurus · 13/07/2019 22:00

If you can see the meds having a positive effect then that's great. Our DS is in his teens now and starting meds some years ago was both the hardest and one of the best things we've ever done. Don't feel guilty about helping him out.

Justanotherlurker · 13/07/2019 22:17

If you can see the meds having a positive effect then that's great.

I'm only a month in of having meds, i have gone through the am i a bad parent shit and now going through the am i just sedating him, just in a bit of a mess at the minute.