Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. A phone that grows with your child.

Meet the Other Phone.
A phone that grows with your child.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

See all MNHQ comments on this thread

Original poster

To be upset by neighbors singing a "N*****" song [Title edited by MNHQ]

47 replies

Koka · 13/07/2019 11:34

Neighbors were drinking with friends and making noise till 3 this morning. They are not usually noisy so I wasn't bothered until they began singing a song about fn n*s . It was loud enough for a few other neighbors to hear. AIBU to feel upset as I am black and think the song was meant for me.

[Post edited by MNHQ]

OP posts:
Screamanger · 13/07/2019 11:37

Are you sure it was meant for you, and it wasn’t just a load of drunk people doing drunk stuff?

FudgeMallowDelight · 13/07/2019 11:37

Of course yanbu. What they were doing was not only deeply offensive but also illegal. I'm sorry you experienced that

ChardonnaysPrettySister · 13/07/2019 11:39

Why would you even think you might be U?

JoxerGoesToStuttgart · 13/07/2019 11:39

I’d have recorded them and phoned the police. It’s a hate incident.

MrsExpo · 13/07/2019 11:40

Definitely no BU .... horrendous thing to experience, but are you sure it was meant for you and not just drunk people making a noise? If you are normally on good terms with them, I might be tempted to raise it with them.

meow1989 · 13/07/2019 11:41

Yanbu and I am sorry that you had to hear that. I am white and wouldn't want to hear it either but cant imagine how horrible it was to hear when you feel you are being targeted

DisplayPurposesOnly · 13/07/2019 11:41

That's so horrible. It may not have been directed at you specifically and personally but that doesn't make it any less offensive.

Are they the kind of people you can call on to say you heard the so g and were upset by it? (Probably not, since if they were nice people they wouldn't have sung it in the first place Sad)

littlepaddypaws · 13/07/2019 11:41

i do feel for you,that's disgusting, some people are arseholes and some are drunken arseholes doing what drunken arseholes do, do you know the neighbours when they are sober ? are they dismissive of you ? best ignored but if it became a thing from them i'd report it to the police as it's illegal.

IvanaPee · 13/07/2019 11:42

Oh my god.

I’m not sure it was meant specifically for you but the fact that they would even sing something like that is bad enough!

How upsetting for you. Sad

ForalltheSaints · 13/07/2019 11:42

Whether it was meant for you or not, I think reporting it to the police is appropriate.

ImaginaryCat · 13/07/2019 11:46

There's a song in mainstream music right now, not sure who it's by, but it's on a playlist of songs my 12yr old DD and her friends keep playing on Alexa. It's full of the N word, and they seem to think it's on a par with songs featuring the word shit or fuck. I find it deeply distasteful but I'm not sure if black artists 'reclaiming' the word has given it acceptability in the eyes of kids too young to remember that word being used hatefully.

ImaginaryCat · 13/07/2019 11:48

Just checked the Alexa history, think it's Go Loko by YG. Really unpleasant song but featured in playlists alongside George Ezra and Billie Eilish!

Butchyrestingface · 13/07/2019 11:50

Yuck. Doesn’t matter who if anyone it was intended for. Absolutely foul.

Are they long-term residents?

MNHQ
YetAnotherBeckyMumsnet · 13/07/2019 11:56

Hello OP - we're really sorry to hear this.

We're going to edit your title and first post because, understandably, the wording is upsetting quite a few people.

MrsMigginsLovelyBaps · 13/07/2019 12:04

MNHQ - FYI the original title is still showing in the "active" list.

MrsMigginsLovelyBaps · 13/07/2019 12:05

Ignore me - it's changed now!

caughtinanet · 13/07/2019 12:07

Obviously upsetting for you but I don't think the police will see it as a hate incident when there are many popular songs with the N word in (assuming I'm thinking of the right word)

Eliza9919 · 13/07/2019 12:08

😲 that's shocking and disgraceful, but it probably wasn't directed at you personally op. That still doesn't excuse it though and I'd have to say something to them. If they can sing songs like that, they won't mind talking about it in the cold light of day, will they. Call it out.

Awwlookatmybabyspider · 13/07/2019 12:09

I'm not saying it is, but I have to be honest. I can see why you would think it was a personal attack.
. Its a horrible word to use anyway let alone when your neighbour is black

RitaMills · 13/07/2019 12:10

What song was it? Was it an intentionally racist song with racist lyrics or one of these mainstream R&B or rap songs that is full of the N word?

My 9 year old was listening to a song that was littered with that word, I obviously told him to turn it off but it does seem to be normalised in a lot of song lyrics now ☹️

funnylittlefloozie · 13/07/2019 12:22

Its not being normalised round my house. My kid doesnt listen to that sort of music, but its one of my red lines, and it's not being normalised here.

You are not being U in the least. Your neighbours are grim.

FriarTuck · 13/07/2019 12:26

At that time in the morning it's more likely to be very drunk & thoughtless tossers playing awful music. I doubt they had the brain cells left to consider your feelings.

RitaMills · 13/07/2019 12:33

funnylittlefloozie normalised in mainstream music.... which it is. Music by black artists is hugely popular at the moment and a lot of the big players do have the N word in their lyrics. Your children might not listen to it but a lot do, it is introducing a whole new generation to that word.

recklessruby · 13/07/2019 12:43

Yanbu. It probably wasn't directed at you as they were the usual 3 am drunk idiots listening to stupid music but it s still nasty.
I hate that word and i am white. I think its totally unacceptable.

Rachelover40 · 13/07/2019 12:47

Absolutely horrible! I'd be annoyed hearing something like that at any time, never mind in the middle of the night. What if children heard them and repeated what they'd heard? They sound like very irresponsible and, frankly, quite disgusting people.

The N word has been reclaimed by black people and though I don't like it, I accept that's the way it is but even they should not say or sing it with kids in earshot. It is particularly offensive coming from white people - you don't say whether or not your neighbours are white.