To be upset by neighbors singing a "N*****" song [Title edited by MNHQ]

[Koka]

Neighbors were drinking with friends and making noise till 3 this morning. They are not usually noisy so I wasn't bothered until they began singing a song about fn n*s . It was loud enough for a few other neighbors to hear. AIBU to feel upset as I am black and think the song was meant for me.

[Post edited by MNHQ]

If it's a popular song they were probably just drunkenly singing to it, I doubt it's directed at you.

I've never understood if it's so offensive to black people why do black artists use the word so much in their songs?

" it, I doubt it's directed at you.

I've never understood if it's so offensive to black people why do black artists use the word so much in their songs?"

Taking back control

@IveNotSlept it's considered reclaiming the word

There are a lot of Rap songs by Black artists containing racist terms for Black people. Along with misogynistic language.
It was probably one of those you heard them singing. So not meant for you, but a vile and upsetting consequence of some of the nastier forms of music becoming generally more popular.

Can't comment on the song, but I like Reginald D. Hunters apology for using the N-word in his shows, pointing out it's something a lot of white folk* had very little problem with for centuries before they did and it brings back a lot of childhood memories for him (not necessarily good).

*More American than British, obviously.

The film ‘Rush Hour’ has a scene where Chris Tucker greets a number of fellow African Americans with ‘Wassup, my nigg*r?’ and they all respond positively. Then, left alone, Chan uses the same greeting and a fight starts.
The problem with reclaiming racist language in songs that are shared outside that community is that others hear it, use it and don’t see a problem if it’s not being used negatively by them.
Freaky Friday is by a white rapper called Lil Dicky. The lyrics are full of it.

Thank you for the replies.
To answer some of your questions, the song was not one of the mainstream rap songs and yes my neighbors are white.

How can it not have been aimed at Koka. Disgusting pigs.

What makes you think it was aimed at you? I'm certainly not saying it wasn't - you'd know best as you were there. I'm just asking because nothing you said in your post indicates that it was aimed at you, but if there is something you've not mentioned that would indicate it was aimed at you then you could always involve the police. If I had good reason to believe it was aimed at me then I would call the police.

If they were just singing along to a song then I don't think I'd give it any further thought. I don't really care who uses the word anymore, as long as it isn't explicitly aimed at me. I used to get really upset about it but now so many black people are using the word that it's been totally normalised again. I feel like we've been undermined by our American cousins. They've shouted out to the world that it's ok to use the word so now other people have picked it up too. I don't really blame them, it sends a confusing message. I'm not about to start saying that it's ok for people to use particular words based on their skin colour. That just makes the whole problem worse. A word is either offensive or it isn't, and it seems that mainstream American media has now decided that n isn't offensive. The rest of the western world will follow suit.

I still choose to never use that word, and I ask other black people not call me that. It's depressing how often I have to ask.

I've never understood if it's so offensive to black people why do black artists use the word so much in their songs?

Because it's a reverse of the asymmetric power which spawned it's acceptability in the past. When white people literally had the whip hand over blacks, and could behave with impunity. Now blacks can use the word with impunity in the knowledge that it's off limits to white people.

It can cause a lot of confusion in the UK, because British - or English - experiences of racism and slavery are completely different to US experiences. The British may not have had slavery in Britain, but across the empire there was a pretty spirited defence of it - so it was kept undercover.

Personally, unless you believe in magic (in which case there's no hope for you anyway) all words are just a sequence of sounds with no inherent power over any other. It's what we do with them in our minds that's the key. And generally, the smaller the mind, the less you can do.

I think Chris Rock did it best. White people singing Jay-Z (an example) around black people, will mumble the N word.
The minute they’re alone, they sing it too if their lungs

There is a good chance that in their drunken state, it never occurred that you could hear them and would probably be horrified if they knew.

It’s a word that some people will always find offensive, others will consider it reclaiming.
The C word is another.

I would say, try to forget about it, maybe gently ask them to keep the noise down after midnight, which will let them know you can hear them.

Well there’s a difference between the n word in rap songs & in casual conversations between black people and the hard r n word that a racist would use.

If you feel that your neighbour has racially abused you OP then please report it to the police.

It’s a word that some people will always find offensive, others will consider it reclaiming.The C word is another.

Not quite sure they are equivalent ... just because people find something offensive doesn't objectively make it so. As far as I am aware, the offensiveness of the N word is it's association with the power imbalance a majority of a large nation were subject to. Whereas the C word is more a colourful description with a much less offensive pedigree. That's not to say there isn't a power imbalance between the sexes (or is it genders nowdays ? I'm old and confused ....) but the C word was not necessarily used to reinforce it. I never saw an old photo with a sign saying "Cunts only" in a restaurant section, for example. Although arguably a few might be useful in Westminster these days.

How can it not have been aimed at Koka
Because if they're pissed at 3am and making a noise generally then they're probably not in that much rational control of themselves. If they'd been quiet at 6pm then suddenly started singing that song loudly outside while sober knowing that OP was outside then yes it would be likely that it would be aimed at her and a complete different story.
Drunk people lose control, common sense and consideration for others.

YADNBU. It's horrifically offensive and aggressive and it is irrelevant whether it was aimed at you or not. I think the people dismissing and minimising on this thread are utterly wrong. If you get drunk and act racist, you're a racist, you just hide it better when you're sober. Non-racist people can get completely rat-arsed and still not act racist. I hope you're ok OP

It's called My Theme Song and it's even on Spotify

If you get drunk and act racist, you're a racist, you just hide it better when you're sober
But they're singing a song. That isn't racist in itself. (well the song may be, I've no idea, but if it's a song sung by a black singer who happens to like using the word.....)

So was it Dr Dre, snoop Dogg etc, where they sing N**r very often?
In that case maybe they are fans and where singing along, or if this was black people singing would it be a problem?

It's just a song 🤷🏻‍♀️ most songs have that would in it. I think your being silly to think it was about you.

I’ve read the OP as the neighbours not singing a rap song at all, but a very hateful one.

If so, this is clearly not ok.

YADNBU. It's horrifically offensive and aggressive and it is irrelevant whether it was aimed at you or not. I think the people dismissing and minimising on this thread are utterly wrong
I agree with you

So the neighbours were quiet then sang the offensive song and then were quiet again. Yanbu then.

If they were singing multiple songs and that song happened to come on then yabu.

But either way I DOUBT at 3am whilst drunk it was aimed at you. Perhaps don’t think it’s all about your race and they are actually just singing