Melt down at work

[WillowPeach]

I was BU I know that. My stress levels are through the roof and I feel awful and ashamed for being rude to my manager.

Back story: I’m a social worker, commented several times for the last few weeks that my caseload is too high. I finish work at 5 - or meant to - the past 2 weeks I’ve stayed late every night to a minimum of 7pm sometimes 8. I’m feeling like I’m neglecting my partner so yesterday I promised I would finish on time at 4pm so we could have some quality time together.

My manger instructed that I go and find child in a public place that parents said they might be. I challenged this decision and said I’d completed a referral to out of hours to complete a welfare check later that evening on said child. Manager said no, I have to go and look for the child who was suspected to be in public place with friends. I was at the end of my tether (just finished writing a 3 page to do list) and I told her ‘you’ve lost it’ (meaning she’s lost the plot). (I also then went to toilet and had a private meltdown in the form of crying buckets). I accept I was rude and out of order. I’ve apologised in person and sent a text with a sincere apology that she accepted.

However I can’t shake this feeling of sickness to my stomach, I feel ashamed and keep replaying things over in my head.

Please somebody offer words of wisdom. I feel like shit

dale then you would be wrong to assume that. I have come into contact with SS through a family member whose children were removed. There are good and bad people in all professions. Assuming that the OP (who hasn't been qualified for very long) is one of the bad ones, and that there are no good SW, is completely unreasonable and a dick move.

I happen to feel that most debt collectors are often uncaring, robotic and lacking in empathy, and wonder how they sleep at night. But I wouldn't come onto a thread started by a debt collector worrying about how they reacted to a stressful situation just to put the boot in.

My friend worked in child protection and had a breakdown due to the late finishes, the workload and the stress of working with such unhappy young people.
You have identified that things are getting too much and you were right to act on it. Your line manager needs to support you.
My friend ended up being off work for 6months! She's still a social worker but left CP. Thankfully.
got you OP, I hope your manager wakes up and recognises you're finding it hard.
too x

Wow dale, you sound awful

@LloydColeandtheCoconuts why, because my opinion differs?

@daledoback

Have you missed the rest of my post? A 3 page to do list. It wasn’t that I couldn’t be bothered, it’s that I didn’t have the capacity to do that and meet the other demands asked of me.

What I didn’t mention was that this child had an appointment with me earlier that day - a pre-arranged appointment and parents had assured me the child would be home to be seen. I arrived and child was gone, parents did not know where, has no mobile to ask child to return for meeting but say child is probably at xyz public place with friends.

I don’t have the capacity to re-do visits because people can’t keep to prior arrangements. I certainly don’t have the time to go searching for them. So I did the best I could by referring said child to out of hours to complete the welfare check later in the evening when child most likely would be home. This child was seen 2 days prior safe and well.

Hi OP, I work in a similar role, your local authority should have a stress management policy with very clear processes and an obligation to take measures to reduce stress in individual employees, make sure you discuss how you are feeling in supervision and that it is recorded.

Op , I definitely have sympathy for you. I don't work in social work but in probation, am not a PO but see what officers put up with and I think it's very similar.
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You weren't being unreasonable. You have to put your MH and wellbeing first. Nowhere in your op did I see that you were the only possible SW who could do that welfare check. And I'd like to remind people the child was highly likely to be a 3year old toddler wandering the streets, said child was out with friends, which suggests said child was teenage ish age. So not quite due all the hysterical posts.

As for what you can do, I don't know. In ours (were a CRC not NPS) our pos have little say in their caseloads really. It's a case of put up and shut up, though I know some older pos are sterner. I work in a different area and we're stretched thin enough with more late nights than expected and stricter deadlines, and our job is half the paperwork!

I'm really glad she's looking at your caseload, and I would keep on at that til it happens. Obviously this is RL so a few extra, and a few late nights a week are acceptable especially when it's report writing time, but even reducing until you're more bedded into the role would be good. Sometimes they think you can start on 25cases, same as Joe who's been there for 10 years, and forget that you need time to get used to things.

Dale I think, from reading your posts, you've never worked as a sw or po or anything similar. The caseloads are ridiculous, the pressure huge and The public don't realise just what it entails.

Dale
No, because of your lack of understanding of the case work and pressures of social workers. I'm fine with people not agreeing with me, HTH

dale am I right in thinking that you or your family has had ss involvement then? With respect, what you think necessitates SS involvement and what actually does, are two very different things.

You've read the op. No dept as stretched as they are are going 'to stick their nose in unnecessarily'. Nice choice of words btw. Early intervention is crucial! It's not about leaping in when things have gone chaotic and mums getting beaten each night and dads off his face on drugs and the kids are eating stale bread - it's about offering support when mum first has a black eye, when dad first smells of whisky, when the kids first come to school starving hungry. That's the stuff that's important and while you might not consider it necessary, it is often the thing that stops things getting worse and keeps families together. Unfortunately due to budgets etc the money for early intervention isn't there anymore.

And yes 'they' are big on their rules and regulations. Because on a simple level, parents following they are following those rules and trying, are showing they care and want to be good parents.

You seem to have a very biased attitude toward social workers. Your last sentence also seems to imply you've had contact with lots of them. Have you had heavy SW involvement yourself, by any chance? Or in the close family or your friends? Only you seem quite bitter towards someone trying her hardest

I hope that this will cause your manager to review your workload. I do find what your manager asked you to do a bit unreasonable. What were you expected to do if you did find the child in a public place with friends? Much more sensible for out of hours to do a welfare check later and make sure the child was home safe. (I am assuming this was an older child). It sounds like you have enough to do without being sent on wild goose chases.

@daledoback "a very small percentage actually care and want to change the system and do right."

So, out of curiosity, why do you think they do the job? It's not highly paid (especially taking into account qualifications, stress etc), it's not that easy to get in to (degree led profession with cpd etc), so if they don't care, why do you think they do it? Just to get a chance to poke their noses in and about people like you? There must be far easier ways to do that! And no, I'm not a social worker!!

It just takes one moment of weakness to snap, however I’m glad you’ve apologised and your manager is going to look at your case load.

I used to work for the EDTeam, and lasted 7 years, nicer enough was enough, before I qualified I was a waitress, and hated that can honestly say I’d go back to waitressing over children’s social work.

I’m now in social housing, and in a very different profession, however still using my degree.

Fellow SW here (health MDT rather than CP) sending sympathy. Be kind to yourself and expect the same from your team and management. Vicarious trauma can have all kinds of weird and wonderful symptoms. Your “meltdown” was really not all that awful.

I can see you're tired and feeling overwhelmed - but this was a welfare check. They can't wait for you to have a lovely Date Night and hope that the OOH service isn't equally too overworked to get around to it.

As you know, kids out can be at huge risk - only this week, another kid was killed in a stabbing and two others were injured in London. What if one of your cases were to result in something happening because you referred it to OOH? You wouldn't forgive yourself (and the resulting investigation would cause even more stress).

That manager is responsible for every child on the team's books. And they don't just have to deal with one member of staff that is stressed, they have to deal with all of you (including presumably, the one who's off with stress now) and pressure from on high.

I'm sorry that you are feeling the pressure, but it boils down to lives. It's the job.

This isn't about me laying in to you directly for that one discrepancy. That's just a very small percentage of why I can't stand SS. They are all for their rules and regulations, interfering in families lives and causing a stir when a lot of the time it isn't needed. Yet there are so many contradicting instances where a job isn't done.

The OP's post is an excellent example of why things sometimes don't get done: there are only half the number of staff that there should be, and that's in a climate where establishment numbers are univerally acknowledged to be too low for statutory duties to be met effectively.

You can't get a quart out of a pint pot, no matter how hard you try.

Given all of that, do you honestly think that they go round "interfering and causing a stir" when it's unnecessary? They have surprisingly little autonomy and are told what to do by their managers. And they would be the first to be hauled over the coals if they didn't do something No-one wants to be the one at a serious case review being asked why they didn't do something or, even worse, criticised by a coroner or a judge at a public enquiry. Who can blame them if they err on the side of caution occasionally?

I swear, they're damned if they do and damned if they don't and it's no wonder that the profession has a shortage of staff.

The pressure on SW staff, both adult and children's services is immense. The demands are greater than ever and the resources have been cut to the bone. Despite all that, social workers are doing fantastic work, day in and day out, supporting and protecting vulnerable people.

I wouldn't do the job for any money, especially for the paltry salary a newly qualified SW gets. I'd be on £3-4kpa more than a NQSW if I was FT, and I work in a sector that is notoriously badly paid.

@Madein1995 Yes, you're correct in thinking I've had some involvement with them. I also know a lot of people who have had involvement and social have walked away and allow shit to happen when they are clearly kids in dire need of help.

it's about offering support when mum first has a black eye, when dad first smells of whisky, when the kids first come to school starving hungry.

Not once, all in several different circumstances, have I ever come across a social worker who offers support to a mother. I was violently raped last year, to have a social worker blame me for it. That's just one thing wrong a social worker has done. One. I've had social workers disclose my location to an abuse ex partner after running from county to county. Did they apologise? Did they accept responsibility? Course they didn't.

I know people that should have their child/children under SS. They do their early interventions and then leave them to it.

This isn't just allocated to one county/borough either. I've witnessed it all over the place.

I also know of another person who has their child under SS who is in the process of having her child removed, and rightly so. But it's taken them two years to do anything about it.

It's just a job to most of those people.

@Mitzik

I appreciate what you’re saying. Truly I do. However, it wasn’t really about a date night. It’s the general culture and expectations of social work. It’s the underlying theme of working late every night. I always knew it was part of the job and as a duty social worker, when it’s duty week (every 4 weeks) I’ll work whatever is required because it is expected. However I am contracted 8:30-5 and most days I’m in the office from 7am to at least 7pm. On duty week it’s much later, can be 9, 10pm depending on what referral has come in - but it’s expected. However, you know us social workers are allowed a life too, we have commitments outside of work and at some point you just have to say enough is enough, I have a family at home too. As I say, I worked a minimum of 7pm every night this week, I don’t think it’s unreasonable to expect to be able to make plans on a Friday night to remind my partner I’ve not forgotten him (lighthearted).

This child is 15, out with their friends on Friday night, their parents having deliberately wasted an appointment by not keeping the child home (should actually of been in school but that’s not the point). Instead, they let said child go out with a friend knowing I was coming and knowing they have no way of making contact with said child. I don’t think hunting this person down in a town is a productive use of my time and having already worked a 55 hour week, I don’t think my ‘safety plan’ of referring to out of hours is unreasonable.

@MitziK finally, someone talking some sense.

This child is 15, out with their friends on Friday night, their parents having deliberately wasted an appointment by not keeping the child home (should actually of been in school but that’s not the point).

Was the child out at night or during school hours?

Instead, they let said child go out with a friend knowing I was coming and knowing they have no way of making contact with said child.

I'm assuming if your appointment was pre-booked, then they must be subject to a Child In Need plan, which is voluntary. In which case, your "parent blaming" is simply not needed.

If they are under a section 47 Child Protection, then yes, you should have done as your manager suggested. They delegate work for a reason and they are responsible for all cases.

Unfortunately due to budgets etc the money for early intervention isn't there anymore.

So true. And because the preventative work isn't being done, the crisis work is increasing.

I blame the obsession with statistics and KPIs. As a chief fire officer once said to me "We can't count fires that didn't happen".

It's really perverse, and it applies to so many areas of the public sector. ion those services, despite having the statuo.

@daledoback

Child wasn’t in school but should of been. I agreed to visit child at the family home during school hours since they weren’t in school. However parents let child go out with friends who should also have been in school. However once my manager tried to send me out to search for the child, they’d gone out for the night with friends at xyz public place.

@daledoback

CIN plan is voluntary yes. But why make arrangements if there is no intention of keeping it. You’ve said yourself that things aren’t being done, but parents who say they will be home and then they’re not is time wasting and a drain on an already stretched diary. So I’m afraid I respectfully disagree with you, just because a child is on a CIN plan is not reason to mess the social worker around by not being home when they say they will be. That is an hour of time that could of been spent doing something meaningful.

@WillowPeach

I think your meltdown was so teeny it was barely a hint of a thaw! It didn't have an F-word in it. I've had some epics in my time and every one has resulted in workloads being reviewed.

Our stress management policy includes meltdowns as one of the flags for staff being stressed, so managers are very reluctant to give anyone shit for having one.

And when I have had plans that are about to be cocked up by a work emergency, I've always told a big fat fib and said that I have a doctor's/dentist/physio appt that I can't cancel.