to think that some babies just don't sleep well, and that's ok?

[MissBootyBass]

My son is 8 months old. We follow a routine. Bath, story, song, bed. Same every night. He struggles to get to sleep but we usually get there within 30 minutes. He had never, ever slept through the whole night. He wakes at least twice every night, even if it is just to chat.

I talk to all my friends who have had babies and most of them say it's normal for their babies to sleep right through.

What's the norm here?

Yep, I had two of those. If there was an award for the most fabulous sleeping children, at 6 & 8 they would win it, hang in there!

There’s no normal when it comes to babies! Some are just better sleepers than others, it isn’t anything you are or aren’t doing which means your little one doesn’t sleep as well as your friends’ babies.

I think lots of people lie, and if I’m honest I’m jealous of your sleep pattern.

My 8 month old has an evening routine and is visibly tired from half 5 but I spend average 4-5 hours every night fighting to get her to sleep. And believe me it’s a fight. We then have between 3-5 wake ups and often an early get up too .... I remember the 3 week period I got 6 hours straight with fanciful longings.

Sorry but an 8 month only waking twice a night is sleeping very well indeed.

Let me introduce my nearly 7 month old who has woken 8 times already tonight.

No it's not ok for a baby to be a shit sleeper. But we have to endure it.

What's worse is parents who think they have babies who aren't good at sleeping when they only wake twice a night.

Yep most babies and children don’t sleep well or through the night. Adjust your thinking and u will be fine! Same as lowering your standards when it comes to a tidy house and kids!! It will all change at some point xx

(Mines still not managed to go down! We had 2 brief 10 min naps but back to fighting...)

Sorry but an 8 month only waking twice a night is sleeping very well indeed

I really wouldn’t go that far. Your baby sounds a particularly poor sleeper, but that doesn’t mean OP has acted wrongly in thinking her baby sleeps badly.

No normal.

My first child woke twice a night until he was 2.5 yrs old, then suddenly started sleeping 12 hours straight and was a great sleeper from then on.
Second child slept 12 hour stretches consistently from 6 weeks old l, never had any sleep regression, was just a fantastic sleeper. I used to prod her to see if she was still breathing!

I did nothing differently with each child. They just had very different temperaments.

It's ok if everyone involved is able to cope with and accept it. But for some people it's a huge issue and they arent wrong anymore than you are.

And no offence @DontBiteTheBoobThatFeedsYou hit if your baby has woken 8 times by 10pm, maybe he/she wasn’t tired at bedtime?

but

My 6 month old sleeps through for 11 ish hours. You know how I achieved it? No? Me neither. Our bedtime routine is almost identical to yours. That's just the way he is. Normal is what's normal for your baby.

It's swings and roundabouts, unless he's poorly DS sleeps from around 7:30pm to 6/7am , but he does not stay still during the day, is very active, very noisy, constantly go go go, which is also exhausting. He also still prefers to nap on me or with me during the day unless we're out and he'll nap in the car or pram, and during the day I have to rock/bounce him to sleep usually only for a few minutes but sometimes he really fights it even when exhausted. So if you asked me just does your baby sleep through I'd say yes, but it's not all roses.

Yup. My first born was the same. First slept through, no matter what we did, at about 5.5 years.

My dd has just turned 1 and still doesn't sleep through, ds who's nearly 3 slept through from 8 weeks. All babies are different

I'd say most babies still wake in the night at 6 months and many still wake until they are 2. Having said that there is no normal they are all different the beat thing to do is accept it. They will sleep through eventually.

My eldest didn’t sleep through the night until Y6 but even then it didn’t last long🙄!

My elder brother has never slept through the night.

And if sleeping through the night means not waking at all, even to note the time and go back to sleep, then I can’t remember the last time I slept through the night 😴

YANBU
I have a nearly two year old who has never slept through.
Lately he has taken to waking up before 5am too!
And that’s ok - we manage and he is amazing.

I don’t think there is a “normal” really. It very much depends on the baby/child. I don’t think people lie so much as the concept of sleeping through or just well is also different for many adults.

An adult who needs 10 hours solid sleep a night is going to think their baby waking repeatedly during the not is not sleeping well. An adult who can do fine with 5 hours sleep no trouble, would probably think a baby with a similar sleeping pattern was a good sleeper and so on.

Can I suggest trying the Huckleberry app op? Worth a shot.

As someone who has a child who didn't sleep through until she was 6 YEARS old, woke at 5.30am until high school and still struggles with sleep...

Yanbu!

I've also a lot of experience looking after other people's kids (over 30 years as a babysitter, nanny and childminder) and I will attest that there's a lot of lying/exaggeration goes on.

I've babysat babies/kids who were up several times a night, had the parents complain to me how knackered they are after another disturbed night and then overheard those parents claiming to other parents/relatives etc that their kids sleep through always!

Not my place to out them but I've definitely witnessed that a lot!

So take what others say with a large pinch of salt.

This is a good source of evidence-based information on normal baby sleep

www.basisonline.org.uk/how-babies-sleep/

8 months is still tiny. DD would wake for milk until 13 months. Then after that she would wake for cuddles or a chat.

Yes, of course, just like some adults sleep better than others.

Some smug people will continue to insist that it’s all about routine, etc. But it’s not that simple, is it? I am all for routine, as that is always helpful, but it will not achieve miracles.

Yep, first baby slept through the night at 8 weeks. Been a great sleeper ever since. Second child was just a clingier baby and would only sleep on a person. She has just started sleeping all night on her own bed aged 7. Some babies/children like to sleep close to another human, just like some adults do.