to think that some babies just don't sleep well, and that's ok?

[MissBootyBass]

My son is 8 months old. We follow a routine. Bath, story, song, bed. Same every night. He struggles to get to sleep but we usually get there within 30 minutes. He had never, ever slept through the whole night. He wakes at least twice every night, even if it is just to chat.

I talk to all my friends who have had babies and most of them say it's normal for their babies to sleep right through.

What's the norm here?

Definitely. My 7 month old has never come close to sleeping through. Cosleeping has saved me, its not for everyone but works for us

A baby waking up to chat? I hope you leave him when he does that!

@hopefulhalf can I have a link to that study please?

I think you might be a bit confused halfhopful
I've searched and searched and searched for a study that says what you have.

All I have found is a study to say that at that age 78% of babies are still waking in the night.

"The findings firstly showed that 78% of babies at this age still regularly woke at least once in the night with 61% having at least one milk feed during the night."

here's the link
I look forward to reading the study you're referring to.

And sorry to add when it refers to babies 'at this age' it was referring to babies age 6-12 months

My daughter didn't sleep through until 2 years. She is excellent at sleeping now though - gets into bed and within 30 seconds is asleep until morning.

Don't get sucked into comparing babies. Thataway danger lies.

My first slept through from 8 weeks! I thought I had cracked this parenting malarkey so I had a mother one!!! Number 2 only started sleeping through when he turned 2 and even then he is a master of sneaking into my bed unnoticed in the middle of the night!
Don't beat yourself up not all babies read the same study as @hopefulhalf and they don't realise they are doing it wrong!
Oh and I would have given my right arm for ds2 to only be waking twice through the night at 8m, you are doing just fine!

My ds slept well as a baby but my dd who is excellent in every other way wakes 10 times ish every single night. It's knackering. They are only babies for a short time and I manage but wake up every day looking like I have 2 black eyes.

You sure your friends mean the same thing you do by ‘sleep right through’? There are people who say ‘she’s sleeping through’ when what they mean is ‘she’s only waking for feeds once or twice’.

I've had 2 dreadful sleepers (controlled crying did not work and neither slept through till 4 - years not months!). KW I have a "good" sleeper (for me): she's 5 months and wakes 3 times a night and often starts the day at 5am. It's all relative.

Neither of mine slept through until 12m. 8m? not a chance.

My almost 5 year old still gets up loads! She just doesn’t get tired really either, hasn’t napped since about 14 months old. I think the sooner parents realise it’s how it is then the less stressful it is!

www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/m/pubmed/22379241/

Thanks @hopefulhalf but I can't find the 78% thing.

I did see this though "Half of the children at preschool age woke at least once during the night..."

Are you sure you have linked me to the correct study?

@hopefulhalf all I got from that report was I should have had my children when I was younger! Very useful link, thanks

I wouldn't assume your friends are lying. Mine slept 7pm to 7am from just under 7 months and had only been waking once before that since about 4 months. Some babies just sleep well. Routine is necessary, but definitely not sufficient! I've had friends with 3 babies and all completely different sleepers despite the parents doing the exact same. It's child dependent.

This is the 78% figure hopefulhalf was talking about I’m guessing. You have to click through to ‘full text’.

It’s interesting that the pattern for 6-month-olds there is way off the general trend for older babies/children. Seems to suggest that it’s typical for night wakings to increase dramatically again after 6 months, so by age 2.5 only half are sleeping through.

Our DS slept 6-8 hours a night from the very start (used to have to set an alarm to wake the wee mite to feed him as he was underweight at first).

So glad we weren’t the types to brag about it as from 5.5 months he now hasn’t slept more than 1-2 hours in a row We’re exhausted. What’s changed? Nothing, except possibly his sleep got upset when teething started.

Thanks @53rdway, I had clicked full text but haven't had a chance to read it. I'm going to have a look when DS is napping. Just for some irony 😆

Definitely. I have four DC and raised them all identically but they’re all still individuals so slept differently, have acted differently over the years, at different academic levels etc. It’s completely normal.

I have no idea why we expect babies and toddlers to all follow a set pattern when we readily accept the differences in adults!

I also do t get the logic behind “x% of babies are sleeping through at 8 months, therefore babies at 8 months are capable of sleeping through and yours should be.” Lots of babies are walking at 12 months, but it doesn’t follow that they’re all capable of walking and the ones that aren’t are lazy slackers.

Very true.

There are people who say ‘she’s sleeping through’ when what they mean is ‘she’s only waking for feeds once or twice

Yep, and lots of people who say 'sleeping through' and mean 5-6 hours. (Obviously some babies do sleep 12 hours, lucky parents!)

I know multiple parents who have done the same things and have some babies who sleep and some that don't.

I think 10 hours was considered sleeping through in this study. I noticed the maternal age correlation as well. Maybe older mother's are more responsive. They seemed to think it was to do with older siblings !