To wish MIL would get her own life

[cadburyegg]

DH told MIL we were considering getting a cat. She does have form for interfering behaviour, but this time she went ballistic. He showed me the following texts from her, more or less word for word.

"You who don't have time for us, but you are now getting a pet to look after?"
"Your house will be ruined. What a waste of money"
“Not happy about the litter tray and the children 😡”

DH (politely) texted that it is our decision and she went off on one again. “Well you just do what you want then as you always do. Either that you know we are right!"

He said to me he feels really down and undermined but he knows if he tells her that she'll just start moaning at him again. I don't know why she made the comment about us not having time for them, they come to over at least once a month for a cooked lunch. We saw them last weekend, the two weekends before that DH was working. We don't go round there much because they find cooking a meal for all of us a lot of work (we have two young DC).

It is between him and her, but I just wish she would butt out. AIBU?!

Rescue a black cat. There are lots of cats needing loving homes but MIL will hate it. Apparently black cats are the hardest to rehome because people are still stupidly superstitious. My black cat used to be stray and we had a lot of pearl clutching when I got pregnant. He's lovely with the baby despite her chasing him. Oh and give the cat a menacing name even it's really sweet. 'Hey MIL, we would love our new cat Mr Bitey to meet his new grandma'.

Stupid interfering woman .Makes me so grateful my mil is fab .It is totally none of her business what you choose to do .You need more than one OP they enjoy each other's company , tell her you are getting at least two 🤣.I have two brothers and an unrelated Tom .All neutered so they get on fantastically and they often go out together and come back the same time .Would love to now what they get up too .But i am going off topic definately get a cat. And all the cat pics 😍.

I agree mil.
See you Boxing Day!!

Dh needs to stop telling her anything more important than what you had for tea.

And we will be bringing dcat....

She does know that a cat doesn’t automatically mean a litter tray? All our cats have let themselves in and out through a cat flap. No shitty trays in this house.

I would text her back and tell her she is right so you wont get a cat but a bearded dragon instead to remind them of her!

We heavily filtered what we told family. Nowadays with sons married I filter what I tell OH, because he gets cross when he thinks they are wasting money, crazy etc.

You need a big badass male cat, preferably one who yowls

Yes rescue a black cat (or three). They are always overlooked in rescues.

‘Don’t worry Mum, we will always make time for you. How’s Feb 10th 2020? The cat should be nicely settled by then.’

Then bombard her with cat pictures. 🐱

I see my pil once a month, you seem to spend a lot of time with people you don’t really like that much.

My ex (and now deceased) mil tried to rehome my two cats when I was pregnant, behind my back. First thing I knew about it was a woman enquiring about the little tabby queen. That may have been the first but not last time I told her to fuck right off.

Please show her this

You need a Maine Coon.

If you're in London OP this is one the cats looking for a home in Celia Hammonds. She sounds like a sweety. Your MIL is batshit.

Apparently black cats are also hard to regime as the aren't Instagram friendly. Their black features don't show up well in photos

photo didn't post

I sympathise. My husband tells my mil everything and she laps it up. It's a part of their relationship, whether l like it or not (not).

My cats disapprove of your mother in law.

Loving these comments. I don’t think DH even realises that this kind of interference isn’t normal. If I tell him to stand up to her he gets cross. No way could I say that we need to see them less

Put a litter tray next to where MIL usually sits & one next to her seat at the table, then invite her round to a meal, hopefully the cat will jump on her knee. Extra marks if the cat can bring in some wildlife whilst MIL is visiting.

Once a month isn't very often, is it? I suppose they live quite a distance away?

Honestly she sounds so controlling and interfering but the saddest part is your DH thinks it's normal

That's terrible. She should piss right off, and someone should tell her so. None of her damn business.