To call my DS the same as my neighbours?

[runninginheelsisnotfun]

We very recently moved house into a new build Estate and I am due DS2 any day now and have settled on a name.

The name isn't common and it took us ages to choose it. I have just met my next door neighbour who's DS1 is 8 weeks old and is called the same name!!!

I didn't know how to react as we were not telling anyone our name until he is here but now I'm worried they will think we copied them because it's quite rare. Not only that but this is a small village and the boys will be in the same class all through school. The whole point of us choosing an uncommon name was so our little guy would be relatively unique.

WIBU to go ahead with the name regardless? We have nothing else in reserve but I feel the wind has just been knocked out my sails.

The whole point of us choosing an uncommon name was so our little guy would be relatively unique.

If that was behind the name choice other than totally being in love with the name, I'd go back to the drawing board.

Well he isn't going to be unique so if that was the overriding factor then you need to pick a different name.

Who care what your neighbours think? If you love the name then use it. If you only chose it because you have some bee in your bonnet about him being unique then choose something else.

Honestly I despair.

What's the name?

If you love the name, use it.

I think people will think you copied your neighbour, why not choose a nice name you like rather than saddle your son with an unusual name

Choose a different name.

Go right ahead and name your kid whatever you want. I had an ex-boss who named her kid a combination of both of my kids' names. Weird, but it's her right!

We picked what we thought was a unique name for ds1. It has been in the top ten boys names for several years. I'd just think it was a coincidence if I was your neighbour. Although I probably would explain it to them.

did you say - Oh I have chosen that name as well? Or did you keep quiet? Is there a close variation of the name you could use? Or use it as a second name if you feel that strongly?

If that's what causes you to despair then I am envious for sure:)

I'm not some crazy insta mum who believes their baby is the golden child. Both DH and I have uncommon names and it's nice to be the only one in your class/school/work and we wanted that for our boy. It's kinda rubbish when you are one of many and have to be referred to by first and surnames or by a definition like tall Dave or Dave with the curly hair.

The name is quite traditional so not like I am wanting to be too out there or pretentious

If you really like it and can't imagine your baby being called anything else, then use it. It's not as if both your families are tied to each other for ever. You could drop the name and settle on one you're not so keen on, only to find they're selling up and moving a hundred miles away.

I get where you are coming from OP. I couldn’t use the name now it would be so weird. Then again, a friend who didn’t know used my unborn DD name so I picked a different name and a couple of years later lost contact with the friend and regretted not calling DD that name. She has it as her middle name instead and often uses it

I had the exact same thing with an at the time close work colleague who was pregnant but due before me. I still called my dc the name we'd picked. It felt odd not to as we'd been referring to him between ourselves since we knew the sex.

Long story short we moved jobs, drifted and lost contact. So pleased I didn't change the name!

Well, you will definitely have to choose another name then.

I'm in my sixties and nearly all the names of my age group and people in the fifties are unfashionable at the moment, so I think that might be a good place to look.

Have you checked it's actually uncommon? If you look on baby name threads people will ask for an unusual name and Hunter, Arlo and Ezra are usually suggested - they are all in top 100 names

Get chatting and tell them that their DS has the name you’d chosen. Ask them what their reserve names were, as you obviously have similar taste!

Of course you wouldn't be unreasonable to go ahead and call your child this not very unique name. Your neighbours don't own it, but they will probably think you're a bit weird for, as far as they're concerned, copying them.

You just have to decide what's more important, the name you've chosen and gotten used to, or your child being the only one in the class/year group with that name. It's frustrating, but neither option is a bad one really.

Just bare in mind, you could change your childs name to Potato-Prince-Fiesta and still end up with another in their class. Anything goes with names these days and it's hard to find a truly unique name.

Enquire politely if they are planning to move. If not, get back on Rightmove.

Or, choose another name.

I think next time I spoke with the neighbours I would drop into conversation that you were considering the same name, just to get that out there.

Then just use the rest of the pregnancy to ponder whether to use it or not. I don't see it as much of an issue but it's all subjective, I suppose.

I've not come across any baby Dave's op so that could be an option If you want unique!

Call him Dave. He'll definitely be the only one in the class.

If your neighbours have used it then maybe it's increasing in popularity generally? Might be time for a rethink.