To not be able to deal with super sensitive people?

[MouthFullofGum]

Colleague asked me why I was ignoring her (by IM not even to my face)

I genuinely hadn’t.

I said I wasnt sure what she meant and could she give me a specific time I had (if someone says something negative about me or if I’ve upset them I’d rather learn from it etc).

And she couldn’t.

I honestly can’t pander to this kind of behaviour.

I genuinely cannot be doing with anyone who's even slightly 'hard work'.

It rages me. I'm Russian, so quite known for being a "hardy breed". I find sensitive people just pathetic and they need to get a grip. Same for children. They tend to have a neurotic parent.

Here bloody here. Always all about them. We used to cal one particular woman at work sunny because everything had to revolve round her.

You'd hate me then

God yanbu.

I would have just ignored the IM to wind her up.

Yes I have noticed that people who think of themselves as sensitive are often sensitive to perceived slights to their own delicate feelings but totally INsensitive to how their behaviour affects others. This woman needs to get over herself.

We all know someone like this, don't we? I certainly do. It's total attention seeking, drama queen behaviour.

No time for that shit, sorry.

And apparently she’s told other people I’m ignoring her. Eurgh

But yes you’re totally right about their behaviour having an impact on other people.

@SheeshazAZ09 agree.

OP then she's an idiot as a lot of those other people will be thinking "I should do the same"

I have a relative like this. So easy to inadvertently upset her. I asked if she was feeling better. This embarrassed her? I sent her a birthday card with no kisses but mil had kisses on her card etc etc

I can see both views. Yes it might be annoying to you. You don’t have to deal with ‘stupid’ behaviour and it impacts you. Yes you might be too busy to deal with people like her.

In the same vein, maybe she has social anxiety. Maybe she’s struggling with ocd worry. Maybe she’s been bullied and is now hyper sensitive if someone she considers a friends is deemed to be suddenly ignoring her.

Personally - I would say there’s nothing wrong and you’re just busy and not to assume you’re ignoring her.

I agree that over-sensitive people can be hard to deal with, but asking for 'a specific time' is a bit aggressive IMO! Is there some kind of backstory here?

Not just me then. I am heartily sick of people telling me that I should be more sensitive to their feelings when they happily walk all over mine.

Yep. Relative unfriended me on fb because they couldn't cope with seeing photos of me enjoying myself with other people and not them

I've unfriended them in rl and now they don't have to see me at all

If someone accuses you of ignoring them, it's not unreasonable to ask for a specific example.
People may well have all sorts of reasons for their sensitivity but none of it is the OPs problem to deal with, when she is trying to work.

n the same vein, maybe she has social anxiety. Maybe she’s struggling with ocd worry. Maybe she’s been bullied and is now hyper sensitive if someone she considers a friends is deemed to be suddenly ignoring her.

But I asked her to tell me when I’d ignored her and she couldn’t tell me.

Because clearly there hadn’t been a time she’d spoke to me and I’d purposely not responded.

Also it’s bad for her to go around telling people I’m ignoring her. It doesn’t put me in a good light with other colleagues when I didn’t actually do anything.

Perhaps what you’re supposed to do, in her mind, is fawn all over her. Bleurgh.

These people just make me stressed and I end up avoiding them as much as I can. Life is too short for crap like that

I agree that over-sensitive people can be hard to deal with, but asking for 'a specific time' is a bit aggressive IMO! Is there some kind of backstory here?

Really? I don’t think it’s aggressive at all.

I’m just someone that if I inadvertently hurt/upset someone I’d rather know what I actually did so I can learn from it and not repeat it.

If a friend came up to you and said thanks for ignoring me (when you had no idea what they were talking about) would you just instantly apologise .. or actually ask when you did this?

Also I find it very odd behaviour to IM someone at work accusing them of something when you’re actually sat within talking distance.

@MouthFullofGum
Whilst YANBU I also hate people who say things like “I tell it like it is” or “I’m Just blunt or direct” same as those say “it’s PC gone mad”
Usually this people are just plain rude and mostly unhappy.

I agree with that OP. I've had times where I've given up with a person and effectively told them that if they are prepared to tell me what I did to upset them then I can't be bothered to care about it.

Stbexh was extremely super sensitive, it was a nightmare, I never felt I could have a discussion about anything at all!

It’s a form of manipulation and passive aggression.