To not be able to deal with super sensitive people?

[MouthFullofGum]

Colleague asked me why I was ignoring her (by IM not even to my face)

I genuinely hadn’t.

I said I wasnt sure what she meant and could she give me a specific time I had (if someone says something negative about me or if I’ve upset them I’d rather learn from it etc).

And she couldn’t.

I honestly can’t pander to this kind of behaviour.

There’s different types of sensitivity though aren’t there. I would describe my dd as sensitive. She cried after Matilda saying it was awful how sad her life is. She always comforts anybody who’s upset in the most perfect way. She can tell if someone’s not ok even when they’re pretending they are, and she’ll say just the right thing.
But there can be an ugly side to being too sensitive - getting hurt far too easily by every perceived slight instead of giving people the benefit of the doubt - for example maybe the person was abrupt in their email because they’re busy not because they hate you.
I think it’s parents’ job to raise sensitive children in a way that means they handle it in a positive way and don’t turn it inwards on themselves and have a non stop pity party. (Not that it’s always easy to do this).
Situation in your OP does sound very annoying indeed.

This isn't 'sensitivity'.
She is deliberately shit stirring to have a dig at you - and complaining o others to get their sympathy and turn on you as well.
She's just a bitch.

If she can't refer to a particular situation and discuss it with you, then I'd just tell her to stop making up shit to accuse you with because it's bully behaviour.

Oh gosh, I've had to set some boundaries with a really good friend who has become a bit like this.

She's questioned why I haven't replied to a txt....errr I was driving.

"You not going to text tonight then?"......errrr I'm really busy

"Oh I take it you don't want to answer that question"....what? Give me some time.

"You were meant to laugh not go quiet".....JESUS....I am working.

She took umbrage when I said I was working. She's snotty with me now, but I actually feel such a sense of relief. She is a good friend, a very good friend, but txts don't work. Being together in person really does. I just hope we can get to that stage. She is quite stubborn though. I guess it depends on how much she values the friendship.

Yes! My sister is like this. Every time we're in contact- and to be fair it's not just me, she is like this with anyone she becomes close to- I am on tenterhooks and more often than not receive an angry text message afterwards detailing how I have hurt her. Anything from telling her she looked nice (shouldn't comment on her appearance) to mentioning my husband/children (when I know she is single) to me huffing about work/childcare (she cannot be around people who are negative).

She's currently not speaking to our other sibling or to our cousin because of perceived slights. I'm in her good books for now but only because I've reduced contact. As others have mentioned- she is horribly insensitive to others and causes drama and upset wherever she goes.. I think it's due to believing that other people don't have problems or suffer like she does.

I do find it difficult to deal with those who don't give others the benefit of the doubt and who seem to be professionally offended! I'm no saint but I try (initially anyway) to think of a generous reason as to why someone might be behaving in a certain way. Life is hard enoug; surely we all owe one another a first go?

I agree though with the pp about those who are most susceptible to taking offence, often having hides like rhinoceroses when it comes to their behaviour towards others.

Slightly off the point but I know someone who is verging on bullying in her behaviour but thinks of herself as incredibly rounded and easy-going (she is actually very very spiky) . She honestly doesn't realise how she comes across and then "feels terribly wounded" ( her words) when people feel manipulated by her and react accordingly.

She's not sensitive. She's manipulative and playing a game.

I'm sensitive (unfortunately... I try not to be) and if I genuinely thought someone was ignoring me I'd think it was something I had done, worry about it, maybe discuss with my dh (probably wouldn't as I wouldn't want him to worry) and then really try to keep calm and carry on as normal when back at work. Wouldnt dream of confronting them!

I would agree wholeheartedly @Cutantrim

I know a couple of people like this, as a pp has said they also seem to be particularly insensitive to others themselves. It's very strange. Take offence at the slightest thing, whilst being incredibly rude about others all around them.

Yes also completely agree @Pinkblanket !!!

I think there’s a huge difference between being a very sensitive and empathetic person and being an attention seeking person. The person at your work and the friend @ZillaPilla mentioned who was constantly badgering them for texts are attention seeking not overly sensitive. Yes YANBU attention seeking people are extremely annoying.

@isaididont Gave a great example of her daughter being able to strongly empathise with what someone is going through.

I also totally agree with @Ghanagirl that the opposite is equally annoying and often people who “just tell it how it is” are actually extremely rude.

Ain't got no time for drama llamas!

I am very good at not saying what I'm thinking otherwise my road through life would be very rocky.

Yanbu

I just do not get all this having to tiptoe around people at work.
We are adults being paid to do a job.. Its not an effing social club or kindergarten.

You don't have to turn up for every performance of a drama-llama, and the first rule of drama-llama club is don't feed the llama! Gloss over, brush off, breeze through, try not to engage.

I am surprised you were not presented with a list going back years asking for 'a specific time', OP!

Also agree with the PP about anyone who says they tell it straight, also not true and also quick to complain about others who do not express the same opinions