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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

There's no such thing as karma

82 replies

DragonsOnRoof · 11/07/2019 18:32

AIBU to feel there's no such thing as 'karma' or 'fate'?

My DM is always saying "Oh it wasn't/was meant to be..." and it irritates me. (I don't let it show, I just nod). Life is just a serious of thousands of small and big decisions, random events, coincidences and sheer luck (good or bad).

I think if you're a shit, selfish person you'll soon run out of friends but that's just consequence, not karma.

I know many amazing, kind people who have had really awful and unfair things happen to them or their family, why do we put so much faith in karma? There's no inherent earthly balance of good/bad we are all bound to.

Often, bastards get away with being bastards and good guys really do finish last.

rant over, as you were

OP posts:
Pineapplefish · 11/07/2019 18:33

YANBU, I don't believe in it either.

Fizzypoo · 11/07/2019 18:35

I don't believe in spiritual karma, but I do believe being nice to people pays off. Kindness gets paid forward, I let a car out, they let a car out ect.

When you're kind (but firm) people are usually kind back.

ThatssomebadhatHarry · 11/07/2019 18:38

Plenty of very bad people have won the lottery.

ohnoessexgirl · 11/07/2019 18:40

I don't believe in it either. Life is random. It pisses me off when people say "oh karma will get them" when someone is a shit. No it won't. Maybe they'll experience a consequence to their behaviour and maybe they won't.

titbumwillypoo · 11/07/2019 18:42

I'd say karma got Tommy Robinson today 🙌 and hopefully the waste of skin will get some more in jail.

Conflicted121 · 11/07/2019 18:42

To be technical, Karma is the belief that the deeds done in this life will be repaid in future lives so if you believe in Karma, you most certainly won’t see it in action.

bingbongnoise · 11/07/2019 18:44

YANBU to not believe in it, but I believe in it ...

I also believe in the universal balance...

Likethebattle · 11/07/2019 18:46

I didn’t but then I was bullied at work by two people. One, her marriage broke yo, she was caught using a blue badge fraudulently, she had two car accidents...he got some sort of foot issue that caused a huge lump and made it hard to walk and he was quite sporty. Maybe just bad luck but I like to think it was karma. Also wasn’t meant to be applied as I interviewed really strongly for another job. They actually hinted I was the candidate. Then changed their mind, I got a better job and fat bully from first job got taken on later in the place I lost out on. She hated it and applied to my office as the job was shit... I told my boss all about her and she said ‘well she certainly will not set foot in here as long as I am the team leader’ i gope it was bloody karma!

Angrybird123 · 11/07/2019 18:47

Nope. Annoys me when people use it to try and make you feel better when shit happens. The only 'reason' my ex left was because he fell in lust with ow and the successful happy life I've carved out of the wreckage is down to hard work and bloody mindedness on my part, not because I deserve it. If in future, he gets horribly hurt one way or another, I know I'll have a queue of people waiting to celebrate with me as he gets his 'just deserts' but it won't be, its just life

Butterfly3005 · 11/07/2019 18:47

"Plenty of very bad people have won the lottery"

....

It may be because money is the route of all evil.

Original poster
DragonsOnRoof · 11/07/2019 18:48

@Conflicted121 thanks conflicted, good point. I suppose the word has taken on new meaning when people believe it'll apply in your/others current life.

It's a bloody awful concept in its proper definition. I spent time in India and the locals in one village truly believed the disabled/sick/poverty stricken individuals deserved their circumstance, reincarnated from what 'must have been' an evil life.

OP posts:
Jemima232 · 11/07/2019 18:50

Plenty of very bad people have won the lottery

Yes. My BIL springs to mind.

LookBackInIngres · 11/07/2019 18:53

To say that life will be good to you because you’re a kind person is like saying that a bull won’t attack you because you’re a vegetarian.

Original poster
DragonsOnRoof · 11/07/2019 18:53

@bingbongnoise I'd love you to post something to enlighten me, genuinely!

My friend has led a fantastic kind and loving life, and she's now dying a horrible, slow death due to cancer and she will leave her two young children motherless.

When's her good karma coming?

OP posts:
Conflicted121 · 11/07/2019 18:59

I prefer the Wiccan rule of 3. (What you send out will come back 3 times over).

Act out of jealousy and you will be drinking the poison type of thing.

How do you judge if people receive their comeuppance though? In my view, even if they have won the lottery, it will not make them happy if all they do is drink their own poison.

People can seem to have all the material things in the world but they can’t change what is inside themselves. Most actions are a reflection of our own thoughts and feelings and says a lot about us and so if someone has treated us badly, they must be pretty down on themselves already.

bingbongnoise · 11/07/2019 19:01

@DragonsOnRoof

When is my friend's good karma coming?

How should I know? Confused

I am sorry for your friend, but it doesn't change the fact that there are many occasions where people are nasty and selfish and mean, and something shit happens to them, and others are good and kind, and good things happen to them.

Also, as I said, I believe in universal balance... It's similar to 'karma' and it does happen... quite a lot.

You can rant at me all you like, but it's not going to change my beliefs...

Conflicted121 · 11/07/2019 19:06

My friend has led a fantastic kind and loving life, and she's now dying a horrible, slow death due to cancer and she will leave her two young children motherless.

Flowers to you and your friend. I lost a friend last year to cancer and she had 3 young children. She was the kindest of all. In the end it was quick and peaceful andI am so thankful for that. She went with no regrets and was able to let go with her nearest and dearest right with her. I know when I pass, that is how I would like it to be. I want to feel the room full of love. On the other hand, I can name a few people who will have no-one or only resentment in the room with them. Do I guess although death can be untimely and painful, it’s a testament to the life you lived when you feel that love.

PinkGlitter123 · 11/07/2019 19:20

Karma doesnt exist.
I was used heavily by a friend then ditched as soon as they met a partner. They are now blissfully happy going on loads of trips and having an amazing time. Before they met their partner they were texting me everyday for support and also helping me through a tough time. As soon as it suited them, I was tossed aside. Now I am the one feeling upset and lonely where as they couldn't be happier.
I realise our friendship was all based on their needs but it doesn't take the pain or bitterness away.
They have been so dismissive and rude to me but are loving life and adored by the partner and new friends 😐

Original poster
DragonsOnRoof · 11/07/2019 19:25

@Conflicted121 Flowers I'm sorry for your loss - I'm so glad your friend was surrounded by love.

@PinkGlitter123 that's so shit. I think lots of people can come up with so many examples of unfairness where selfishness wins.

Universal balance my arse.

OP posts:
BjornAgain81 · 11/07/2019 19:30

No YANBU, it's a complete fantasy IMO.

Most things like this are driven by what we'd like to believe - e.g. arseholes will receive some kind of a reckoning for their transgressions.

waterlego · 11/07/2019 19:34

there are many occasions where people are nasty and selfish and mean, and something shit happens to them, and others are good and kind, and good things happen to them.

And there are just as many occasions when the exact reverse of that happens. Life is just random and chaotic.

ClashCityRocker · 11/07/2019 19:46

Nope. Too many shitty things happen to good people for me to believe in it.

So, if something bad happens to someone it means they've done something to deserve it? Didn't we leave that kind of thinking behind in the middle ages?

I can see how a kind person may benefit from their kindness, and how a nasty person may be disadvantaged by their attitude, but that's just consequences rather than karma.

Troels · 11/07/2019 20:19

I always went by You reap what you sow. Sort of close to the Wiccan rule 3 quoted above.
But I also belive good deedds in this life are paid back in the next in a Karma way.
But also you can't just go around doing what looks like good things without them being from the heart IYKWIM They don't count unless the good deeds are from love and a good place and not from trying to reap rewards.

MyOpinionIsValid · 11/07/2019 20:23

It may be because money is the route of all evil. That is an incorrect quote, it is the love of money that is the root of all evil

For the love of money is the root of all evil: which while some coveted after, they have erred from the faith, and pierced themselves through with many sorrows

ParkheadParadise · 11/07/2019 20:29

I don't believe in Karma sadly.
The evil bastard who murdered my Dd walked free on a NOT PROVEN verdict, he lives in the same street as my sister.
I've had to watch him walking about free living his life.
I didn't know if was possible to absolutely HATE someone.