Am I the only one who laid awake for hours patting a baby's back to keep them asleep?

[DontBiteTheBoobThatFeedsYou]

Because every time I stop he wakes?

I don't know if it's reflux, constipation, a tooth coming or all of the above.

But I feel like whenever someone has a bad night with their baby they wake hourly.

But when I have a bad night with the baby he wakes constantly from 7pm but come 12am he won't sleep at all unless I'm constantly patting him.
I did this until 3am.

I'm in the midst of figuring out with a diary, because it's a pattern for months.

I'm just posting to see if anyone else had to do the same for their baby because I feel like I'm the only one who breeds these babies.

Anyone else out there who patted for hours?

Omg poonami incoming

I used to pat mine using rhythm.
For example 10 pats, 5 rests for 5 minutes.
Then 5 pats,10 rests. Gradually increasing rest time and decreasing pats. So at end 1 pat long rest until I could sneak away. If they woke up often just a hand on their back was enough

That sort of thing is what I do on a good night and it works very well.

On a hellish night, that won't work at all.

I'll be honest ds2 still came into our bed occasionally aged 8!!
And you know what, when he stopped coming in I missed him I really did

I can remember standing with the hairdryer on a low setting, the sound used to settle them and help them sleep...

Yes!!! With DS2, I went through 2 hair dryers a year!!

Some because they were on so much and would burn out. And others because I launched them at the wall in crying, desperate, tired frustration.

I hope you get some peace with all this soon.

Thank you. I really appreciate your posts.

ah glad you are in the loop with all those good gastro folk.

antibiotics- ask Neil shah, he says some of them act differently from others - it's a trade off between the gut flora impacts & other beneficial effects.

Have you looked into those wheat heated bags to replace you?

We have but I'd be worried it would work it's way up to his throat or something awful.

I'd rather stay awake.

I don't do this because it would become habit. And not a good one. I spent 21 months having to rock my dd to sleep, it broke me. I vowed to change that with my 3rd and now she gets put down in her cot, wide awake and has learnt to self settle.
Although at nearly a year old, she has started to wake up three times a night for an hour at a time

Yes I had to do this op. It was the only way he'd sleep. it's so hard! He did get better though

When did it improve @Marilynmansonsthermos? Did your baby have reflux or similar?

For what it’s worth, I totally understand why you’re so frustrated. My baby would be up a total of at least 30-40 times a night. It made me hate the world and everyone in it. I’d sit in the garden at 3am just in a daze trying to calm myself down. I rang my mum in tears on many occasions (had split from the father) she’s 9 months now and while every night is Russian roulette, it’s certainly improved.
You’re not on your own! My bedroom felt like a torture chamber and I dreaded going to bed at night.

Thank you. I appreciate the understanding. It is torture isn't it?

I need early nights to cope, but I put off going to bed because it's worse when I'm trying to sleep and get woken every few mins.
Before I go to bed, at least I'm awake and alert! So I end up going to bed 10-11pm (late when you get no sleep)....

Do you know why or how it improved for your baby?

Honestly, I wish I could give you a magical reason that will change your life. But it was so gradual, went from 30-40 wake ups, to slowly getting better.. I can’t even pin point the change and I know that will make you want to scream! I think the first thing I did was accept the situation, I had zero expectations at night because the nights I had a ‘good feeling’ would end up the worst. The anxiety and heart palpitations I would have from lack of sleep were unreal. I’m sorry I can’t be more useful, I just wanted to let you know that you’re not on your own on this torture that is motherhood.

My first was a champion waker. I'd prop myself up with lots of pillows, latch her on and sleep like that. It wasn't ideal, but I survived (and she's slept a solid 12hs most nights since she dropped her nap, so no rod made for my back).

You must be shattered!

I didn't have this particular issue, a work colleague did though. Her DS needed his back rubbed, and as he got older needed his hand or foot rubbed to get to sleep. Reflux/wind/constipation was all ruled out. It seems it was a pure comfort thing, he associated sleep with her rubbing/ comforting him in some way.

He's 3 now and will go to sleep by himself after several bouts of sleep training (crying it out) but if tired during the day will still come to her to have his hand held or foot rubbed and will then drop off for a snooze

Yes that's a very real issue - and can stem from reflux/pain/whatever.

They are used to being rocked or patted to distract from the pain but like a comforter they can't sleep without it even when they are at their best.

I'm really aware of this because of my middle son. Another reason why I'm keeping The Diary, I'm worried about creating an issue and still thinking it's reflux when it isn't.

As an 'update' since he pooed (omg so much poo) the hiccups and vomiting have stopped. He's currently laying flat and asleep since 7pm and woken 4 times but self settled.

I think the whole constipation thing has triggered the reflux.
I need to keep on the constipation meds, reflux meds and watch the food triggers as I wean.

Easy! 😭

I mean in the last two hours he needed settling twice by me.

But the other 4 times he self settled.

So still absolutely shite but a big improvement!

@ssd If someones kid sleeps they think they know it all, no they've just got a kid who sleeps. I never did.

Amen to that!!! The judgement I've had about my kids who don't sleep makes me want to scream. Yes it's all my fault and you're the perfect parent. No I haven't tried anything to resolve it, I'm just weak. Bed sharing is a huge mistake blah blah blah.

Sorry OP don't mean to derail the thread - i hope you find a resolution because I know how you feel and how debilitating sleep deprivation is. I've no advice but you have all my sympathy.

Sorry OP don't mean to derail the thread
Not at all!
And thanks for the sympathy.

When posted this thread, I really really needed to know I wasn't alone. So thank you.

There will be people reading this with sleeping babies and kids thinking that they got the remedy right and we aren't doing it correctly. There's always people like that.

Those people who have sleepers and pride themselves on doing it right eventually come up against it with something else. Either that or their kids a little shit. No one gets everything easy. I had loads of smug bs telling me what I was doing wrong, now 20 years later my boys are well adjusted decent kids and their lack of sleep did them no harm.
It is a torture, isn't it a form of torture used somewhere?
I worked in a shop when mine were young and I was on door duty on day and a girl walked in with her mum and baby in a pram, I cooed over the baby and asked how baby was, she said wonderful and he sleeps 12 hours a night!!! I had to leave the shop floor and cry through the back.
for you all

Well last night was only half torturous!

He went down amazingly. I got up to him twice in the evening rather than every 15 minutes.

He woke a few times in the night, easy to settle. It all went to shit at 3am when he needed All The Patting but it was a huge improvement from the night before.

I have absolutely no doubt in my mind that the constipation and/or reflux is to blame.
Once pooed, he's topped vomiting and hiccuping and even ate some food.