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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To ask... why do men and women wear different clothes?

89 replies

BogstandardBelle · 10/07/2019 21:54

I was shopping in town today and since the summer holidays have started where I am, it’s mobbed ! I wasn’t in a rush. So I was people watching as I mooched around. And it struck me just how differently men and women dress. Why is this? Why do women and girls wear strappy sandals and high heels? While men wear trainers? Why do men wear T-shirts and women wear tight or crop tops? Why are women’s T-shirt’s tighter than men’s? Why do women wear make up - and men generally don’t?

I think this is on my mind atm as I have two sons and my best friend has a daughter. My son has never asked to wear a crop top - yet her daughter has: why?

OP posts:
BertieBotts · 10/07/2019 21:55

Conditioning and social norms.

stucknoue · 10/07/2019 21:58

Choice, societal norms, we are different shapes too. I like wearing dresses personally (especially in warm weather)

NannaNoodleman · 10/07/2019 21:59

Society norms!

DS was very upset when he didn't have a pretty dress to wear like his sister when we attended a wedding.

Original poster
BogstandardBelle · 10/07/2019 22:04

Conditioning and social norms.««

But why crop tops and high heels and not boiler suits and flip flops? Why those specific items / styles? Where did they emerge from?

OP posts:
EyesOpenWide · 10/07/2019 22:11

You can read up on the history of high heels if you’re that interested but they gradually became a thing around the 1500’s for the wealthy - all about slimming the ankles and calf and elongating the legs, because men decided that was more feminine and that’s how they preferred women to look.

nocoolnamesleft · 10/07/2019 22:14

Societal expectations strongly influenced by the pressure of the male gaze.

Original poster
BogstandardBelle · 10/07/2019 22:14

because men decided that was more feminine and that’s how they preferred women to look.

So is that what still drives women’s fashion? Is that why my friends 12yr old is asking to wear crop tops and my son isn’t?

OP posts:
Gintonic · 10/07/2019 22:14

I'd like to know why men's clothes are better quality. Very hard now to buy a woman's suit on the high street that isn't polyester, and the material in men's t-shirts and jeans is much more hard wearing than women's equivalents.

ColaFreezePop · 10/07/2019 22:17

Wealthy men use to wear high heeled shoes and make up. Have a look at historical clothes books.

FusionChefGeoff · 10/07/2019 22:22

Women are supposed to look nice so frills / bows / glitter / lots of flesh on show. Heels make legs longer and bum sway side to side.

Men don't need to so wear more practical clothes.

Patriarchy init.

BertieBotts · 10/07/2019 22:22

You're asking a very complicated question :) you'd be better off to look at the individual history of different styles (including pieces) of clothing. For example historically men have worn robes or clothing that we would now think of as skirts or dresses. There's no one single reason for the way clothing styles are today but the most overarching theme is that men's clothing and footwear tends to be functional, whereas women's clothing and footwear tends to be decorative. Both veer into showing off wealth at the higher end.

These things reflect gender roles in society in general. The reason teenage girls tend to ask for clothing associated with women is because we're all socialised from a very young age to identify with our own sex's group and to value what that group values. It's unlikely that a teenage girl wants a crop top because it looks lovely and cool for a hot day. She usually wants it because she thinks it looks attractive/sexy. You can see this even in quite young children say of about 6. Girls tend to value things which are pretty or cute. Boys tend to value things which look "awesome" (which is shorthand for looking powerful in some way).

Original poster
BogstandardBelle · 10/07/2019 22:23

But I was in a shopping century this morning - not in the 1500s. Men and women mostly do similar things these days - do the shopping, go to work, clean to loo, pick the kids up from school, make the dinner, meet friends for a drink etc. Why do we still dress so differently to do these things?

OP posts:
Karlwho · 10/07/2019 22:26

@Gintonic same. When I buy sporting equipment/clothes the women's section doesn't get a glance from me. It's all cheappinkcrap.

I agree with societal norms. It was only in recent years that French women were legally allowed to wear trousers.

pandarific · 10/07/2019 22:27

adult clothes genrally display our sex characteristics, ie the difference in body shapes for men (bigger broader shoulders than women's, more muscular arms/thighs) and women (smaller waists, less muscular legs, breasts etc).

Karlwho · 10/07/2019 22:28

Dh and I actually wear each other's clothes on occasion. He'll nick my basketball shorts or whatnot. Same shoe size.

My kiddos have always worn whatever they want. Dd shops in boy's section.

meuh · 10/07/2019 22:29

I find this really interesting too. Do you think one day clothing will become more unisex?

BernardBlacksWineIcelolly · 10/07/2019 22:29

the only one I know are women and men's shirts. they button on different sides because men generally dressed themselves where women were dressed by other people

that's all i've got I'm afraid

ineedaknittedhat · 10/07/2019 22:33

I have to wear mens trainers because the womens are too narrow and hurt my feet. I don't even have big feet. Mens tee shirts are better quality and have longer sleeves. The womens are all flimsy and skimpy.

I always wear trousers and tops and have short hair so am probably male according to the gender fanatics.

QueenBeee · 10/07/2019 22:39

What gets me is that men's clothes are comfy and practical where much of women's isn't.

Karlwho · 10/07/2019 22:42

Leggings are comfy!

Original poster
BogstandardBelle · 10/07/2019 22:45

II find this really interesting too. Do you think one day clothing will become more unisex?*

In practical terms there’s no reason why it shouldn’t, I guess. But I suspect that what ever is deemed to be unisex will actually = men’s clothes, rather than some middle point between the two.

It’s just so bizarre when you sit back and see men in variations of shirts and t-shirts, and women in a whole range of stuff from flip flops to stilettos, from baggy t-shirts to crop tops, from tight miniskirts to floaty hippy skirts - when we are mostly all doing the same thing these days (In this case, shopping ;-))

OP posts:
ChangedNameForToday · 10/07/2019 22:54

What gets me is that men's clothes are comfy and practical where much of women's isn't.

This ^^

This really pisses me off. Like all women I've been socialised since birth to dress 'like a woman' and 'look pretty' - if I choose man-style more practical comfortable clothing I feel 'not pretty' and 'not-womanly' or like I'm making a statement and I therefore inadequate or uncomfortable.

I wish I'd been born a man so I could wear an unflattering jeans, trainers, t shirt combo at all times without judgement or feelings of inadequacy. Oh and also cause men earn more.

KennDodd · 10/07/2019 22:55

That's a really interesting question. I wonder when this first started? When we were just wearing animal skins clothes must have been the same? I think its quite odd that even uniform (school and professional) is sexed.

KennDodd · 10/07/2019 22:57

I could wear an unflattering jeans, trainers, t shirt

You're describing me there!

PickAChew · 10/07/2019 22:59

soc.al norms.

Though I was out, today, in trainers, jeans (quite loose) and a loose shirt, no make up, and looked perfectly female.