Parking Space

[JorlyWood]

So I asked my partner to drive me to Tesco to pick up something for dinner (I don't drive). We popped our little girl in the car seat without her trousers or shoes on as I was planning on just running in quickly. When we got there he pulled into a parent and child space and I reminded him I was going in myself and would prefer to park somewhere else. He thought that since we had our child in the car we could park there but I disagreed explaining the reason they are there is for extra space getting prams and whatnot out. He refused to park anywhere else and said it's here or home. I told him I wasn't going in without her and as she didn't have her trousers or shoes I couldn't take her in so we would have to go home. The bastard actually drove home instead of just parking in any of the other free spaces.
So, was I being unreasonable? Should I have just broken the law and gone in? We have food but not anything my DD will eat and as she has been poorly I wanted to get her something nice.

Why did you argue?

Perhaps I was being a tad dramatic when I said breaking the law. It was more the fear of someone having a go at me when they saw me getting out the car and going into the shop without a child.

We very rarely argue but somehow it always happens in the car. He hates driving but we don't have enough money for me to learn. He also asks for my help a lot but I have got to be careful that my help is the 'right' help and if I ever make a mistake he shouts at me - but driving stresses him out so I put up with it. Being shouted at by random people stresses me out so I expected him to make some allowances for that but not today.

P&C places aren't regulated by law, anyone can park there.

Your partner was rude parking in it if you weren't all getting out, Can't see why you needed to get into such a row over it though. Are you usually such hard work?

Jeez, what an exercise in pointlessness.

You could've run in quickly in the time it took to have the argument.

You're both being U to be honest, but I wouldn't have given 2 hoots if I were in your position and would've just gone in.

Nothing illegal about it.

I expect that the police will be on their way to talk to you about the few minutes that you spent parked in the parent and child space without going into the shop. It'll all be on CCTV, I'm not sure what you should be expecting in terms of sentencing but if I were you I'd plead guilty and hope they go easy on you

It does my head in when people park in the parent and child spaces and don't need them. But don't think I'd be too fussed if there was a kid in the car.
It's just annoying trying to find a space wide enough to get into both sides of the car as I have two little folk in car seats.
Most annoying is when workmen in vans use them.

Just going to ignore the people who are being rude. Thanks to those who have made the same point without being horrible about it.

About a month ago I came off some medication and last few days have been somewhat challenging. I posted on here thinking that I might get some people on my side but apparently I really am going insane. Maybe time to go back on the medicine, thanks for your help.

You were both acting like children. You don’t even drive but you want to control were he parks to the point we’re you we’re happy to let your daughter go without nice food when she’s poorly rather than hypothetically annoy someone for a min or two. And he’s that childish he actually drove home... great job both of you 👍

It was an overreaction on both your parts-but now you've given more information about what situations are stressful, and recent meds changes, then the reactions become more understandable.

Driver chooses where to park. DH and I have different criteria when we go shopping-I swing past the bottle bank, and then choose a spot near the trolley bay, but not too crowded, even if it means further to walk to the shop door. DH has a bigger car and likes certain spaces that allow more room to open doors.

This is what I’d call six of one, half dozen if the other.
Why didn’t you just nip in and buy your food?

Yeah, I wish I had just gone in now.

You should have prioritized your sick child, gone and gotten your supplies, and had the argument later.

You also need to learn to drive or decide to go without a car if your dp hates driving. Where I live, driving is not optional, so everyone finds a way to fit it in their budget or moves.

Why didn’t you just run in and grab whatever? He could’ve stayed in the car which was surely the intention anyway as your dd wasn’t dressed? Bonkers overreaction from you both. Your dd is the only one suffering here.

Agree 100% with purple

Oh OP, I totally get where you were coming from with this.

DP has a nasty habit of pulling up in places he shouldn't to run to the cash point, etc and I'm always so anxious someone will knock on the window while I'm sat there and have a go. I suppose the same thing applies here.

I think you've both been a bit unreasonable. I would have felt very similar to you in this situation but bit my tongue and gone into the shop. Neither of you were prepared to back down and it resulted in a pointless argument.

I hope you are ok. I don't think you're insane at all

It pisses me off when people use the P&C when they are just running in or have no child however it would be the driver who would get it in the neck as they are in control of the car.
In this situation I would have just gone in as the driver kind of over rules in terms of where they will park

If dc was ill why didn't you stay at home with them and let him do the shopping?

It's not breaking the law. I think you were both very petty and setting a bad example to your child.

I get your logic OP but my god, so not worth it on a quick errand.

You DID have a small child in the car and if for example you had popped in then come back to find they had been sick or needed a quick nappy change or something, the extra space to get them in and out of the seat would have been useful.

I 100% judge people who misuse those spaces but I really don't class your situation in that category!

He definitely wouldn't go in the shop, I did suggest that but he said no. I was ill with a UTI and had a high fever at the beginning of the week and he took a massive strop because I asked him to go into the shop to pick up a couple of things.

I realise now that I was also in the wrong and not just him. The child has been fed with a pizza I found and she is ok so that's the main thing.

There is nothing worse than having someone who doesn't even drive try to give you instructions on it. Your partner drove so he got to choose where to park. No law was broken, you were being ridiculous.

Definitely comes under the heading "Is this a hill I want to die on?"

Given the outcome was your poor daughter didn't get a nice healthy dinner I'd say you've got more serious problems that's the rights and wrongs of how to use P&C spaces.

It isn't against the law, but also unless the car park was rammed full of cars waiting to park in the parent and child spaces, then if you were just running in who cares? Cripes.