To be surprised by standards of cleanliness?

[yesok]

I am a ftm, with very little experience of being around young children. Be kind!
My dd is now 1, and I always make sure her clothes are changed straight away if they get any food stains or general dirt on them. At mealtimes I peg a muslin on to high chair (like a huge bib) to ensure dropped bits of food are caught in that, a don't end up all over her. I haven't seen many others do the same.
High chairs in restaurants/pubs tend to be filthy. I have to wipe down but they really do need a deep clean.
I thought with babies & children it's important to keep germs at bay. But everywhere I go that is baby/child friendly, seem to be so grubby. Soft play centres. Baby change etc.
Do I need to chill out? Embrace the mess?

Surely you just accept that children’s natural state is sticky and grubby from when they start crawling to whenever the hormones kick in and they start caring about their appearance and attract girls/boys?

Just looking at the armchair that dsc has been sitting in while visiting recently and it’s like Father Jack’s corner in the Craggy Ireland manse.

Your washing machine must be on constantly! Relax and embrace the mess 😉

I was a bit fanatical until DS1 was around 7 months and I found him licking the carpet.

My two have been regular visitors to DH’s family smallholding in North Africa so plenty of germ exposure. This was particularly important for DS2 as he had lots of antibiotics for tonsillitis until he had them taken out at 3.

Are you Mrs Hinch?

OP I do this too. I just don't like looking at grubby kids with crusty clothes and faces. I know it's fine, but I just don't like it.

I was just like you when DC were small. I used to wipe all the toys at soft play and play group, wipe high chairs in restaurants etc, DC were always immaculate, bathed every day, several changes of clothes a day. I relaxed. It's actually very good for them to be in contact with germs. Builds their resistance so long as they're relatively healthy to start with.

Coming into contact with microorganisms trains the immune system. There's a theory that exposure to a range of relatively harmless pathogens from a very young age has a protective effect against childhood leukaemia and allergies, among other things.

Then there are the cognitive and psychological benefits to children of engaging actively with their surroundings and various substances found in them (mud, puddles, different types and textures of foods, grass, sand etc etc etc) and of not being afraid to engage in life because they 'might get dirty'.

I was exactly the same when DD was small. Took my own high chair with me to restaurants and always had wet wipes/ disinfectant available. I cannot stand seeing dirty children particularly when they need a nappy change or have snotty noses🤢. DD spent her first few weeks in NICU where hygiene was paramount so this may have contributed to my OCD!

Any over zealous adherence to hygiene went out of the window when my DD licked the cat.

I had a very awkward moment with a friend's toddler as he was trying to lick my dog, (very wet whippet, I was hovering over him, just in case...) whilst the dog was trying to lick his snotty face.

Obv split them up ASAP, but I don't know who was more stressed, me over the copious snot or her over dog germs.

I was like this with my PFB. I was always armed with anti bac spray and wipes and also a few pairs of clean clothes to change into as needed. I was always on edge and anxious about her coming into any contact with dirt. My family thought I was completely bonkers. However, I have since chilled out and realised how important it was for her immune system to be exposed to germ. Also, my sister pointed out that mucky children are usually the ones who have the most fun as they are allowed to run riot and explore. You can tell she’s now having a good time as she’s a ‘face feeder’ and after a good play session her clothes and hair are a mess.

I also have DC2 now and am much more relaxed. So yes, please chill and leave her be.

You’re welcome OP. Glad you found it interesting (and I hope your mum does too!)

There's a difference between being exposed to micro organisms and eating your lunch off a surface with someone else's snot, drool and backwash all over it. I wouldn't eat off a dirty table and I don't think children should have to either.

It’s been hard not to become even more germ conscious since having a baby.

But my standards have eased since he was born. I remember in the first few weeks I had my spanking new buggy and I used to be shocked at how disgusting other peoples buggy’s were - with food smushed into crevices etc. Of course, now my boy is bigger and eats in the buggy it is heading the same way.

But I must confess, I don’t use public changing spaces unless I have to, and then my changing mat goes into a material bag and regularly the whole thing gets Cleaned. And most high chair in restaurants and soft play areas are gross. But that’s different from harmful.

I do think it is a cultural thing though: you go to Spain or other countries and children look much more put together and clean. Here. people generally won’t judge you if your child has uncombed hair and is covered in mud. I’m not saying which is better or worse but just that I feel
In the UK we care less about how white our whites are

@MissB83 bird poo??? Arghhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh

Dunno about that. Where that does hold it's a middle class affectation. My family certainly judge dirty kids.

There's a difference between being exposed to micro organisms and eating your lunch off a surface with someone else's snot, drool and backwash all over it
This. I’m fine with my kid playing in the mud but I draw the line at disgusting dried on food and snot on high chairs, or toys that have been chewed and licked.

I really have LOLd at some of your replies! Thank you, I've taken it all on board. Project "zen mummy" begins today!

Now I feel like a negligent mother, I never did any of this even with my first! Cleaned high chair every now and then when it got too bad. Never occurred to me to change clothes unless they were actually filthy. I let him eat dirt.

In my defence, at 3 the worst illness he’s never had to take any kind of medicine other than calpol once or twice.

Sorry that doesn’t make sense! Worst illness he’s ever had has been one of a number of colds. He’s never been actually ill ever.

Germs are everywhere. Obsession with germs and cleaning and wiping and dirt is tedious and unnecessary.

@cookit I need to take a leaf out of your book. My dd got a sickness bug at 9 months old. 10 days of vom & diarrhoea hell!!! I'd do anything to avoid that again. Mind you, that bug spread like wildfire - most of the babies at the same playgroup got it, along with a lot of their parents and even other family members that came into contact. It did put me off going back
to that playgroup initially, but I know that she needs to build up her immune system so I kept calm and carried on!

My Grandad always said "You got to eat a pound of dirt before you die"

I don't entirely agree but there is a happy medium. A few crumbs or a bit of food on clothes isn't going to harm any child.

I can sort of guess that you are a first-time Mum? Chill out, she will be fine and develop great immunity.

Buy darker clothes with a pattern that hide marks.
I wouldn’t have my children in obviously stained clothing either. Children get grubby but it’s not odd to clean them afterwards. There’s a real difference between gardening hands or ice cream face and ingrained unwashed dirt.

As for tummy bugs, most comes from very poor hand and food hygiene. Floors tend not to be a source of Salmonella or Coliform bugs. Nursery bugs do spread but it’s often not the mixing with other children and shard toys that are the cause. Hand washing with soap and drying properly are the best way to prevent spread.

Germs are important for the immune system so no, it’s not important to ‘keep germs at bay’. We are vaccinated for a reason.