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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To be surprised by standards of cleanliness?

93 replies

yesok · 09/07/2019 20:23

I am a ftm, with very little experience of being around young children. Be kind!
My dd is now 1, and I always make sure her clothes are changed straight away if they get any food stains or general dirt on them. At mealtimes I peg a muslin on to high chair (like a huge bib) to ensure dropped bits of food are caught in that, a don't end up all over her. I haven't seen many others do the same.
High chairs in restaurants/pubs tend to be filthy. I have to wipe down but they really do need a deep clean.
I thought with babies & children it's important to keep germs at bay. But everywhere I go that is baby/child friendly, seem to be so grubby. Soft play centres. Baby change etc.
Do I need to chill out? Embrace the mess?

OP posts:
TopBitchoftheWitches · 09/07/2019 21:04

Ftm meaning what, exactly?

StinkyVonWinky · 09/07/2019 21:05

Have a read of this OP. It might help you worry less?
www.theguardian.com/lifeandstyle/2016/sep/24/snap-crackle-and-filth-let-kids-eat-dirt

StCharlotte · 09/07/2019 21:05

Does this mean I can start wearing shoes indoor again? Wink

stayathomer · 09/07/2019 21:07

She's only one though so I totally understand because she'll be dribbling food all over herself putting her hands in to everything etc. In a weird way they're cleaner when they're a little older, but luckier. As long as you're not freaking her out over hands etc then a bit of cleanliness is good! I have 4 boys and would always have wiped chairs and put something on a changing station but at home the odd stain on a top would be left there.

Original poster
yesok · 09/07/2019 21:08

@TopBitchoftheWitches sorry, first time mum

OP posts:
Original poster
yesok · 09/07/2019 21:10

@Troels that is so funny! I have been cleaning the floors so much more since she started shuffling. It's actually a bit of a relief reading that I really don't have to do all this. I need to relax!!

OP posts:
TopBitchoftheWitches · 09/07/2019 21:10

My apologies to you, I thought you meant something else. Sorry Flowers

Middledistancerunner · 09/07/2019 21:10

I know you’re trying to do your best but I feel that you’re putting undue pressure on both yourself and your dd.
She doesn’t care about being a mess, honestly, she just wants to have fun.

I’ve witnessed the outcome of your parenting style, you end up with very very fussy children who can’t enjoy themselves for fear of dirty clothes.

Did you ever watch the supernanny episode where the mother couldn’t understand why her child wouldn’t eat? Turned out she was wiping her kids mouth with a fragranced wipe every mouthful because the child was tiny and kept spilling. Child (quite sensibly) stopped eating to stop the wiping.

Somuchroom · 09/07/2019 21:12

I do the muslin thing also OP. I don’t like food on clothes. I also wipe down high chairs. I wipe dc face/hands when dirty. I hate snotty noses. A dentist receptionist once commented on how clean he is, I didn’t know how to respond.

However by the end of today he had grass stains on his shorts, mud on his feet because he’s wearing sandals, dirt under his fingernails from playing with the stones in the garden and stroganoff rubbed into his hair. Oh and he got a serious sweat on at softplay this morning. He’s 2.

You’re fighting a loosing battle Smile

that25cUKHeatwaveof2019 · 09/07/2019 21:12

There's a happy medium between a sterile house (very unhealthy) and a filthy one (unhealthy too!).

I think you start chilling when they join a communal childcare like a nursery - or when they have older siblings.

My kids played outside, with the dogs and the cats and were in contact with enough germs that way! They also went to soft plays later on - trying very hard not to think about the rubbish that's in there, it's gross but they had fun.

Washing hands before food, stay away from toys at the GP and so on - but when you are in A&E waiting room, you want them to play and forget about whatever brought you there.

Kids don't need to snack all day, mine rarely had stains - but they were happily grubby as in muddy, dusty and covered in grass if outside.

I still wipe airlines tablet and anything they can touch, but even for me!

AriadneesWeb · 09/07/2019 21:13

This is exactly why I always have a portable folding high chair in the basket under my buggy. Restaurant high chairs are disgusting with crusted on food, I wouldn’t like to sit in them so I don’t see why DS should, and I don’t see why I should clean off someone else’s muck. They never have a tray either and half of the time the straps are broken.

Middledistancerunner · 09/07/2019 21:13

That being said I have emailed larger chains complaining about the state of high chairs before.
Blush
I’ve noticed that when head office hear about it they get cleaned Grin

Original poster
yesok · 09/07/2019 21:13

@StinkyVonWinky thank you, a v interesting read. I'll have to send this to my mum as well, she's almost as bad as me!

OP posts:
Flaskfan · 09/07/2019 21:13

And wait until they're pre teens and you have to wrestle them.into the shower and stand over them to.clean their teeth. Grubby little fuckers.

MissB83 · 09/07/2019 21:16

Yes. There are lots of reasons to let young kids be exposed to germs and muck. Until 6 months you should sterilise their things but after that it all goes in the mouth and a quick wipe is fine.

If I buy toys or board books from a charity shop for my son then I give them a wash in soapy water or a quick wipe. And I wipe food grubbiness or snot off his face so he doesn't get sore. But I never change him if he gets a bit of food or a bit of dirt on his clothes, unless it's poo, wee or sick or he's very wet and could get chafed. He needs to enjoy playing and having fun, not looking pristine. I also have a lot of allergies and medical issues like eczema/asthma etc which are linked to an overactive immune system, he seems to have inherited some of that from me so I'm keen that he's not too insulated from muck and germs because that can actually exacerbate conditions like asthma.

scattercushion · 09/07/2019 21:16

I tried to keep my baby clean but when I saw her licking the bin I knew I was fighting a losing battle.

MissB83 · 09/07/2019 21:16

All that said, I do pick up food from the floor in restaurants and give the high chair a quick wipe before and after he uses it, more just because it's good manners.

ImTakingTheEssence · 09/07/2019 21:18

Always used to wipe when using them before and after also would pick up the food they dropped on the floor. I hate seeing parents leaving a table with food that there kids have dropped and there table a tip.

MissB83 · 09/07/2019 21:18

I tried to keep my baby clean but when I saw her licking the bin I knew I was fighting a losing battle.

My son picked up a bird poo and put it in his mouth before I could stop him. Confused
Another time it was a cobweb with dead flies in it.
Makes me want to be sick in my mouth a little bit.

QueeniesPotOfRouge · 09/07/2019 21:18

Agreed that restaurant high chairs can be foul. But yes, you can dial it right back with the other things, especially changing clothes all the time/mopping floors constantly. A bit of dirt is good for them, a lot of exposure to cleaning products definitely isn’t Smile

EssentialHummus · 09/07/2019 21:19

It depends IMO. Soft play etc will be grubby, that's almost the nature of it. I just take a deep breath and go with it, despite my reservations. But I have friends who really don't do a good job of wiping noses or using bibs when feeding their kids spaghetti bloody bolognese (why? Why choose the most staining dish available in the fecking supermarket?) and it grosses me out.

SleepingStandingUp · 09/07/2019 21:19

I would wipe down high chairs etc. cos that's some other kids slobber and dribbled out crackers.

However whislt she's this age, you must be changing her a million times a day! Nursery won't change her unless she's wet or really firsty, so i'd def lower your standards now lol

Sorryisntgoodenough · 09/07/2019 21:20

I always make sure her clothes are changed straight away if they get any food stains or general dirt on them

I think THIS action is quite possible going to cause the most damage and distress to a young child. No child ever died from having stains on their clean clothes and dirt is NOT all bad. Please speak to your dr and get referred for CBT or some other therapy before you psychologically damage your child irreparably. Because that is what will happen if you carry on these actions throughout their childhood.

HermioneMakepeace · 09/07/2019 21:21

I thought with babies & children it's important to keep germs at bay.

Not really. In fact a slightly grubby house helps to build the immune system.

Kallyderon · 09/07/2019 21:23

Actually I used to change my DC's clothes when they got dirty at that age - not immediately, but before the stain had time to set. Just at natural intervals - eg if they were having a nap, or we were going out having been indoors. No hassle, just bung them in a bucket of soapy water, then leave them soaking until I did the next wash. I found if I didn't do this I couldn't get the stains out so then the clothes were spoilt which is wasteful.

Agree that restaurant/pub high chairs are awful - you just have to not think about it or else you'd never go anywhere but it's a shame that most places don't prioritise having clean chairs for children. They'll clean up all manner of adult mess though!

StCharlotte 🤣🤣