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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think my MIL is a CF!?

79 replies

mumtoaw · 09/07/2019 17:53

MIL told me she was visiting today and asked if she could have some tea whilst she was here. Said yeah that's fine.

I don't mind when she comes as she watches my DS whilst I run errands/do the housework.

The bit that's making me feel she's being a CF is the fact that she text me prior to coming to ask if I had some food in, if not she would bring something of her own to make Confused

I don't know if I'm just overthinking it, AIBU?

OP posts:
PumpkinPieAlibi · 09/07/2019 18:48

Not only does she help with the grandchildren but she's willing to feed herself. And not only does it seem she's not being thanked, the poor thing's being called a CF.

You really can't please some, I suppose. Not when there's a determination to find fault.

saraclara · 09/07/2019 18:48

Jeeeze. The woman was ensuring that she isn't putting you out in any way, since she was the one who asked if she could eat at your place. She was being super thoughtful.

I honestly don't understand how you could take offense at that.

MIL's really can't win, can they?

FriarTuck · 09/07/2019 19:02

Does CF now stand for 'considerate family' now then?!

werideatdawn · 09/07/2019 19:04

We obviously haven't responded as OP would like. Let's try again

What a bitch she is. Go NC.

WhatShouldIDo15 · 09/07/2019 19:17

I think it's cheeky to announce she will be visiting today without asking what days are convenient for you. I hate uninvited guests

AfterSchoolWorry · 09/07/2019 19:21

She comes and minds your child and brings her own food.

Do you ever offer her anything?

plasterboots · 09/07/2019 19:23

@WhatShouldIDo15 thank god you're in the extreme minority!

LynetteScavo · 09/07/2019 19:25

She didn't want to be drain on you so checked if she could bring food?

I wish my MIL was so thoughtful.

Myheartbelongsto · 09/07/2019 19:25

what a fucking sad world we live in if you think that your mil was cheeky.

anyone that comes in my front door gets offered a drink and something to eat, mostly i just stick something on the table and if they want it they take it.

Roussette · 09/07/2019 19:28

I don't know I just wouldn't bring my own food to someone else's house

In two weeks time you'll be posting that your MIL didn't offer to bring any food over when she came to help you and how dare she just turn up and expect to eat what you're cooking. Don't be ridiculous.

BoronationStreet · 09/07/2019 19:38

Huh?

LadyMacbethWasMisunderstood · 09/07/2019 19:40

Yabu. Just that. There is nothing cheeky about your MIL at all.

Ponoka7 · 09/07/2019 19:51

I babysit for my DD while I she does her weekly shop.

I know she's running low and i don't want to eat what she's meal planned in, so i bring my own.

She's doing you a favour and making sure that it doesn't impact on the household at all. How is that cheeky? Confused

Teaandcrisps · 09/07/2019 19:54

I think I would only ever ask if there was food in if the host never offered drink/food. OP I'm wondering if you offer your MIL food or does she go hungry?

miaCara · 09/07/2019 19:56

I wonder if youve misunderstood the definition of a CF OP?

A CF is someone who takes advantage of another person by demanding something that isnt usually up for grabs. So if ,while minding your baby ,your MIL went through your fridge and cupboards and helped herself to te smoked salmon and champagne you'd been saving for a special supper with your beloved then she would be a CF.
To ask ahead of time of she can have some food - and then go ahead to offer to bring something ( in case you are having the smoked salmon yourself) is the complete opposite of Cfery.
Unless -as always- theres something else in the background?

DontDribbleOnTheCarpet · 09/07/2019 20:00

OP, it sounds like your MIL feels very comfortable with you, and that means she feels she can be more casual, without offending you. I think it's nice. If a friends said "Have you got anything in, or should I bring something?" you wouldn't be offended, would you?
Your MIL likes you, she helps out and is interested in her grandchild. You've won the jackpot!

howdyalikemenow · 09/07/2019 20:07

What an odd thread? What would you have preferred her to do OP?

LadyRannaldini · 09/07/2019 20:48

If she turned up expecting to be fed you would probably be here still complaining!

Sceptre86 · 09/07/2019 20:58

She actually sounds quite nice and thoughtful, not wanting to impose on you.

Yawninfinitum · 09/07/2019 21:00

What?! How is that rude?

My mum came over today and texted and offered to bring tea for the kids.
I’ve got food in but it was kind and I said thanks!

Your MIL didn’t want to cause hassle if you didn’t have stuff in and offered to bring it.

I do not get how that can be construed as anything other than thoughtful

Who would be a MIL?

saraclara · 09/07/2019 21:23

I'm so glad I had daughters. My friends with sons and grandkids seem to be forever treading on eggshells and worried about annoying their DILs. I read OPs like this and realise why.

CherryPavlova · 09/07/2019 21:27

Sounds totally normal and considerate. If one of mine or a friend decides on a last minute lunch, they using and offer to bring something

Cherrysoup · 09/07/2019 21:28

Yabu. Wtf?

DawgLover · 09/07/2019 21:31

YABU. I feel really rather sorry for your MIL

Serin · 09/07/2019 21:34

What on earth!!
Of course she is not being unreasonable.
Appreciate her OP.
She sounds lovely.
You on the other hand......Hmm

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