To think my MIL is a CF!?

[mumtoaw]

MIL told me she was visiting today and asked if she could have some tea whilst she was here. Said yeah that's fine.

I don't mind when she comes as she watches my DS whilst I run errands/do the housework.

The bit that's making me feel she's being a CF is the fact that she text me prior to coming to ask if I had some food in, if not she would bring something of her own to make

I don't know if I'm just overthinking it, AIBU?

Christ. Talk about looking for offence when there is none. 🙄

If only my guests were so considerate.

I don’t understand what the issue is either. My Mil & mum do this all the time, it’s never even entered my head they’re being anything but kind.

It may be about how it's worded - 'Do you have any food in?' As if the OP can't be trusted to shop adequately. Perhaps she meant it jokily!

I wouldn't be offended, I'd say 'Oooh, bring something nice!'

Jesus you sound like hard work.

I suppose asking you if she could bring anything might have been a better way to phrase it but I don't get what the issue is here.

WTF? So if you had no food in, would you not have to go and buy some? So she's offered and you're upset?

OP you are looking for an issue aren't you? You'll have to try harder!

Given that she asked if she could stay for tea with no notice, it's perfectly reasonable to ask if there's enough food. For all she knew you might only have enough for yourselves for tonight as you're due to go shopping tomorrow or you'd put something in the slow cooker this morning or whatever.

If you'd invited her and she asked before she turned up then, it's a different thing, but surely it's fair enough to check there's enough to go round if you turn up at someone's house asking for food with no notice? Would you normally plan and cook enough for an extra person just in case?

YABU

Opposite of CF. Especially as she is nice close family.

My siblings and in-laws would do this and it would be entirely in the spirit of (a) being no bother and (b) being happy to pick up some bread and milk for you if you've run out.

It's the sort of thing I'd do. I wouldn't want to make inroads into your meal planning provisions - so I'd offer to bring something.

@mumtoaw
I think the answer is NO she is not a CF 😂

Is this a piss take?

Your mother in law who comes to visit and helps you ask for tea and your offended?
I pity your Mil and think you're a CF If I have read this right.

OP, do you know what CF stands for?

She being lovely. She needed to eat and didn't want to make you run about after her.

I don't know I just wouldn't bring my own food to someone else's house

Why not?

Have you seen the threads on her enraged at rellies filling their snouts at their table?

*on here from posters

Why do you think she feels she has to invite herself and also raise the issue of her eating and drinking something whilst she's with you?

It sounds like you would rather maintain more of a distance. Why is that?

YABU. She's grateful you've said she can stay for tea, presumably so she can spend more time with her DGC and she's just checking you have enough given she asked last minute. CF would be turning up unannounced and expecting to be fed.

MYbe she was seeing if you had any food or if she should bring some?

She seems to be doing her best not to be a CF.
Why do you think her comment wasn't considerate?
If she's watching your child and being helpful then having tea with you is really not a big deal is it.

OP are you looking for a reason to get annoyed with your poor MIL? she's done absolutely nothing wrong, in fact she was doing you a favour. You really need to have a stern word with yourself.

I'm totally baffled. I assumed from your OP that you thought she was cheeky for presuming that she could eat your food. But actually you're offended that she offered to bring her own? Sorry but this is ridiculous.

I'd say thank you for offering but you're helping me so I'm happy to make you dinner