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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To be annoyed at my dh

75 replies

Redyoyo · 08/07/2019 20:34

Its the summer holidays here, dh and i are doing the childcare between us. I get the shopping delivered on a Friday, food consumption is normal over the weekend whilst dh is working. On a Monday and Tuesday dh is off and by a Tuesday night we have no food left. Not even a biscuit, no snacks and I've just discovered he's eaten the Italian sausage for tomorrow nights dinner! I've spent £90 since friday and today he bought the kids a McDonald's! AIBU to be mad at him for being a greedy pig!

OP posts:

Vulpine · 09/07/2019 07:44

If a man can't eat his own sausage in his own house thats pretty sad. And no that wasn't a euphemism. Just buy more next time.

Wynston · 09/07/2019 07:50

House of boys here...........anything i dont want eating in 3seconds flat i put in the veg drawer in the fridge........they would never think to look in there!!

Shoxfordian · 09/07/2019 07:54

Don't you pay for food jointly?

Rezie · 09/07/2019 08:02

I can see this being very annoying. Let's face it, the odds are that he doesn't need all the food. But I also think that people should eat anything they want at home. Would a solution be that you do your ordering together. Like he adds bunch of stuff that he wants so he won't eat rest of the weeks dinner materials?

ElizaPancakes · 09/07/2019 08:04

Yeah I’d be pissed off. I think all you can do is make him responsible for it - if he’s used what you had earmarked for tonight’s meal, tell him to replace it immediately or cobble together something from leftovers. No I’m not doing tomorrow’s dinner tonight.

daphine2004 · 09/07/2019 08:07

If you have got food bought for a particular meal it’s annoying when it goes. How about just speaking to him and asking what he wants in the shop or boom extra bits which he might like whilst he is with the kids. Maybe find out his plans too - do you meed to get more treats in if e is hosting?

Personally if I’m doin an online shop I double check if there’s anything he wants or needs before I order and let him know that certain food has been bought in for meals. If he eats it he replaces it!

Original poster

Redyoyo · 09/07/2019 08:08

Just to be clear its not about the money that was just to give an idea of how much shopping was bought. There is also no possible way he is that hungry he's just munching, there is plenty of bread etc that ends up in the bin, he only eats the good stuff.
I don't like like him doing the shop as he buys about 2 dinners and a load of snacks and chocolate.
Also they are my topics i buy plenty of biscuits to offer to visitors, don't you buy a wee thing for yourselves when you do the shop?

OP posts:

cyclingwith3 · 09/07/2019 08:30

I feel you- it’s the whole packets that does my head in. Eg whole big pack of pistachios, lovely for us all to nibble over a few days- opened and gone. 8 pack of pancakes, kids eat over days, gone when I pop out. Ditto whole packets of lunch meat or a meals main ingredient.

DH got upset when I once mentioned it, what I’ve done is simply keep an eye on it and expect him to buy whatever is missing. Eg texting he needs to get Italian sausage or whatever he ate. The frequent little trips must annoy as it has toned down on key ingredients. A bonus, he’s now in the habit of asking what we need as he passes shops

cyclingwith3 · 09/07/2019 08:31

Oh, and if he’s like mine the double annoyance is he’s really slim!!!

mrsm43s · 09/07/2019 08:38

Also they are my topics i buy plenty of biscuits to offer to visitors, don't you buy a wee thing for yourselves when you do the shop?

Actually, no, all food is family food, regardless of who does the shop. I don't buy stuff just for myself. What a selfish idea! If I bought a 4 pack of Topics, everyone would be welcome to have one if they wanted. And they would be offered around to guests too.

Since its not about money, then its really clear that your DH is telling you (by actions rather than words) that there needs to be more snacks bought during the summer holidays as part of the weekly shop.

If you don't want to tip out to the shop (which is fair enough, since you've already shopped once this week), then tell your DH to go out, replace the Italian sausage for dinner, and buy himself whatever snacks he wants/thinks the family needs for the week. Stop trying to police another adults eating! Its very controlling.

I'm trying to imagine a world where my DH not only kept chocolate hidden away for himself, but also then tried to tell me that I wasn't allowed to eat the snacks that I fancied from the cupboards/fridge. It wouldn't go down well in this house!

StatisticallyChallenged · 09/07/2019 09:03

My DH freely admits that if it's there he will eat it and so has no problem at all with me stashing chocolate. We buy plenty but ge has sweet tooth so even if I've bought stuff he likes better he will eat his then mune before I fancy having it. I put stuff elsewhere so I get a fair share. Doesn't make me controlling just sensible

Scorpiovenus · 09/07/2019 09:14

No your not, My DH is a right pest with the food so I have to hide things and he doesn't realise when munching through the whole tin and drinking the whole milk bottle that it costs me money, so this month I decided that when the snacks and lunch stuff runs out then he goes hungry its the only way I think.

Like he wont just have one, he will have like 3 and they are things that are expensive like snickers and swirls, not mini bars full size bars too.

it does my head in tbh. ill see how this month goes, ive already hidden my share so he doesn't eat mine, and if that fails ill be locking it in my car boot lol

amy56542589 · 09/07/2019 09:19

The idea that you can't leave a weeks food shop in the house without it all going, leaving nothing for anyone else being called 'controlling' is ridiculous. It's greedy and selfish as fuck.

TheGrapefulDread · 09/07/2019 09:31

Chocolate bars in the freezer ( makes them less instantly available ) ... other treats in the cleaning cupboard in a tin marked shoe polish/housekeepers box etc. You shouldn’t have to, I agree ! However nothing pisses me off than a dramatic doe eyed “ Am I allowed this ? “ whilst looking like Oliver Twist after a particularly lean week.

mrsm43s · 09/07/2019 09:52

If you're not short of money and he wants something to eat, why shouldn't he have it?

Since everyone is off school/work, more snacks are needed over the summer. Its not rocket science.

As long as it doesn't cause the family financial hardship (which OP has said it doesn't) why should DH not eat whatever he wants? He is an adult, it is up to him to decide how much he wants to eat. By all means send him out to buy replacements (but OP doesn't like him shopping because she thinks he buys too many snacks!), but one adult should not be controlling what another adult eats.

ems137 · 09/07/2019 10:02

We each buy treats for ourselves and also separate ones for the kids that they prefer. Neither one of us eat each other's, unless we ask and we definitely definitely wouldn't hand them out to guests. If, for whatever reason we did offer some to guests then we would leave one in the packet for whoever they belonged to. I would be fuming if I went to the cupboard and someone had eaten all my Cadbury's and not left me at least a bar!!

HippyTrails · 09/07/2019 10:09

my OH is a nightmare for this, I ask him specifically not to eat things sometimes as it's always really random things i've bought for a recipe i'm planning to cook such as mushrooms to go into a bolognese as he felt 'snacky'

Shoxfordian · 09/07/2019 10:10

If its not about the money then just buy more food

CrunchTime0 · 09/07/2019 10:18

Just buy more of the good stuff then.

Double up on the topics.

I eat what I want in my house, no one gets to tell me I can’t eat x or y. If I want to eat it, I do.

billy1966 · 09/07/2019 10:18

He's just a greedy pig. Selfish with it.

Call it what it is.

My eldest son had a habit of eating everything he liked and to hell with everyone else.

So if bought a packet of 6 crisps he liked he could eat 4.

It happened a few times until I was absolutely furious and sent him to replace them from his own money.
I told him that was what would happen in future.

It infuriated me as it was just so bloody selfish.

I absolutely think he would have carried on if he hadn't been majorly called out about it.

Vulpine · 09/07/2019 10:23

All the food in out house is free for anyone to eat whenever. Just cook something else

XXVaginaAndAUterus · 09/07/2019 10:34

Nobody touches my topics.

I'll happily buy everybody their Oren chocolate or whatever not to be touched by others, and shared chocolate but NOBODY TOUCHES MY TOPICS.

Eliza9919 · 09/07/2019 12:05

@mrsm43s Tue 09-Jul-19 08:38:39

Actually, no, all food is family food, regardless of who does the shop. I don't buy stuff just for myself. What a selfish idea!

Don't be such a martyr ffs.

Stop trying to police another adults eating! Its very controlling.

What do you think eating all the food for yourself is?

He's not just eaten all the snacks , he's eaten pretty much everything.

Original poster

Redyoyo · 09/07/2019 13:01

I was starting to wonder if i should offer up my bottles wine and dhs gin to the kids too i don't want to appear selfish!
Everyone in my house gets something for themselves in the weekly shop i didn't realise this wasn't a thing!

OP posts:

DontBiteTheBoobThatFeedsYou · 09/07/2019 13:03

Is your DH overweight?

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