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AIBU?

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Original poster

To ask, if you've had therapy, was it worth it?

49 replies

dandelionandmurdoch · 08/07/2019 20:13

Been considering having therapy due to issues with low confidence which is impacting my job and relationships. I've struggled with this for a long time.

But therapy is not cheap and I'm wondering if it's worth the money?

If you've had it, was it worth the cost. And what sort of things would be done to help me with my issues?

OP posts:
Belenus · 08/07/2019 20:15

Had mine on the NHS. If I had the money I'd have paid. Well I did pay as I pay taxes, but anyway.

Worth every penny. If I could go privately sometimes I would. Saved my life and changed my life. Do make sure you find a therapist who is right for you though. You need a good therapist and a good match for you.

OneNiceGreenLeaf · 08/07/2019 20:24

I'm having therapy currently. It's extremely painful exploring emotions I've pushed down for decades but ultimately worth it.

Many therapists offer a reduced rate for those who need it, which is something I wasn't aware of until recently.

Lilyannarose · 08/07/2019 20:33

I've been having private counselling and found it really helpful.
Unfortunately I can't afford to continue (single mum/ carer of disabled child).

Original poster
dandelionandmurdoch · 08/07/2019 20:39

The waiting list in my area for nhs is long and I'm not a priority as I'm not depressed. I'm looking at around £45 per session. Presumably I would need one or two per month?

OP posts:
hipslikecinderella · 08/07/2019 20:41

I'd say cbt was worth it, and interpersonal therapy was quite good.
Talking therapy in my experience has been pretty much a waste of time.

HelloyouKant · 08/07/2019 20:42

It was a the best money I have ever spent.
Think about CBT rather than ongoing psychodynamic, which tends to be a very long road.
Be prepared to change therapists early on, f you do t connect with yours. They won’t be offended and it’s not worth doing therapy unless you can work with th therapist.
The money you spend in that is as essential as a medical intervention. You must!

cavalier · 08/07/2019 20:42

It’s a safety valve for sure ... I’ve had 2 lots
Try it ... and if it’s not for you then fair enough
People write it off ...

HelloyouKant · 08/07/2019 20:42

Sorry for horrible typos

Lilyannarose · 08/07/2019 20:44

Mine were £40 a session, and I was hoping to do one every 2 weeks (2 a month). However, the therapist insisted I would need weekly sessions for it to be of any benefit. I'm a single mum and carer to a severely disabled child and I just couldn't keep it up unfortunately. It was totalling up to £160 a month which is as much as my electric/gas bill.

Original poster
dandelionandmurdoch · 08/07/2019 20:45

Ive had an abusive relationship for a few years and also I know I struggle with recognising the importance of my own feelings. My family don't ever talk about difficult feelings or situations such as the abuse, which ended when I was 20. That's why I feel I may benefit from outside help.

OP posts:
familycourtq · 08/07/2019 20:45

Yes and definitely yes

Noodledoodledoo · 08/07/2019 20:45

Have had talking therapy twice now - went back to the same lady as she was fab. Highly recommend it but as others have said it needs to work and if you don't feel you are getting much out of it then its not going to work but doesn't mean the therapy isn't working just not the right personality combination.

Nofunkingworriesmate · 08/07/2019 20:46

It can really stir you up and can unsettle your for the following week but ultimately can be great in sorting things out for good
However it really depends on the quality of the counsellor , don’t be afraid to change counsellor to one that you can open up to

You are v brave and will be so glad you did this money well spent

MyKitchenIsATip · 08/07/2019 20:47

I've had loads of counselling, it was so worth it and changed my life. Some I paid for, some I had on the NHS. Honestly, I think everyone should have counselling. We all have our emotional baggage. If you don't click with your therapist after 2-3 sessions, find another you do click with.

Nofunkingworriesmate · 08/07/2019 20:49

Don’t underestimate the ( free) value Of a good chat and wine/whine with friends

Original poster
dandelionandmurdoch · 08/07/2019 20:53

@Nofunkingworriesmate I get that but also I have so many negative thought patterns and it doesn't matter how many times my friends tell me I'm wrong I don't listen.

I blame myself for everything
I let people walk all over me
I have trouble setting boundaries in relationships
I'm very guarded and closed.

I don't feel like talking with my friends is going to help.

OP posts:
Xyzzzzz · 08/07/2019 20:53

Yes got mine via my employer so was quicker. Have also had NHS in the past. Would recommend it.

theWarOnPeace · 08/07/2019 20:54

I went after a trauma as a late teen, and it was transformative. I would go so far as to say it changed my life for the better, and the trauma which caused me to go was potentially a gift in that sense. I would never have sought help to start making sense of myself or of my life if I hadn’t gone for that reason.

I’ve more recently piggy-backed off of my brother’s therapy, he’s relayed a lot back to me, things the therapist has given insight to or clarified that I’ve found extremely helpful when coming to terms with our difficult childhood/parents. I’ve read a lot on the subject as well, so combined with his therapist’s intelligent and unbiased observations and suggestions (about our parents), even my second hand therapy has been brilliant. Obviously sometimes he says “we talked about other stuff”, and so of course he doesn’t tell me the whole session, just things that apply to both of us re family. I know it’s massively improved his confidence and he’s become so much more assertive and brave. If it wasn’t all anonymous, he should be the star of a transformation case on an advert for therapy!

ThighsRelief · 08/07/2019 20:56

Your local carers centre might offer free counselling.

vincettenoir · 08/07/2019 20:57

Yes and yes. From what you’ve said you’re ready to explore some difficult feelings and making sense of them is usually helpful.

theWarOnPeace · 08/07/2019 20:58

See from what you’ve described in your update, this is ingrained and entrenched behaviour that you won’t be able to change without some kind of analysis. You need to unpick it from the roots upwards. A friend or kind family member may even mean well, but it takes a skilled and trained therapist to dissect why this is where you are at and why it’s making you unhappy, the reasons behind those problems, and how to start dealing with them. Try it. Please.

tobedtoMNandfart · 08/07/2019 20:59

Yes. 1000%. Life saver.
I paid £35 per month for about a year.

underneaththeash · 08/07/2019 21:00

I think i’m an exception, I had (or tried to have) some after my dad died.
It just annoyed me TBH, I didn’t feel comfortable talking to a stranger and it all seemed rather pointless.

YouBoggleMyMind · 08/07/2019 21:00

I've had therapy twice. Once to get through fertility treatment which I paid for and then via the NHS when my DS almost died as a baby. Took me a long time to come to terms with what happened and therapy definitely helped me working through it.

tillytoodles1 · 08/07/2019 21:03

I paid £100 a session to see a psychiatrist/hypnotist. Worth every penny as I'd spent a fortune trying to cure my Agoraphobia.

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