To ask, if you've had therapy, was it worth it?

[dandelionandmurdoch]

Been considering having therapy due to issues with low confidence which is impacting my job and relationships. I've struggled with this for a long time.

But therapy is not cheap and I'm wondering if it's worth the money?

If you've had it, was it worth the cost. And what sort of things would be done to help me with my issues?

Without it I wouldn’t be here. So yes it’s worth it, it took me weekly sessions of cbt then weekly sessions of talking therapy got a year. I still struggle but can get through things. But without it I would have most likely taken my life

Don’t underestimate the ( free) value Of a good chat and wine/whine with friends

Equally, don't expect your friends to be unpaid therapists. My friends don't have the skill, time or energy to help me unpick my thought patterns and reframe them. They're great friends, they've just got enough to deal with.

I spent 45 an hour, twice a month for about a year. I've been able function without antidepressants ever since. I never would have got the help I needed on the NHS. I'd felt suicidal more than once.

People wouldn't think twice about going private for an operation if they were suffering and the NHS could not provide, I suffered years of poor mental health before therapy helped me.

If you work, check to see if anything is available free through that. Lots more awareness of the need for people to be mentally as well as physically healthy at work so employers sometimes offer things like an employee support service with telephone counselling available. This is provided by an independent third party not someone who works for your employer. Hope things get better for you soon

Yes, it saved (what was left of) my sanity.

6 months of weekly sessions with a trauma specialist does not come cheap but its value was beyond money.

Yes...but...
You have to find someone you can get on board with and you have to be willing to do the work. And it’s very expensive. But it was life saving and life changing.

I had 2 lots of counselling. First on nhs was a disaster. The second i hate to think what i spent, but she was brilliant . I am saving up for her again . Dd also was helped by her.
I hope it works out well.

CBT did nothing for me except give me a whole lot of 'homework' to stress over.

DBT absolutely 100% changed my life for the better.

Whilst I think DBT was better suited to my needs (and diagnoses) more than CBT the difference was most starkly in my readiness/motivation to be well. I had both on the NHS approx a decade ago, though have also paid for supplementary DBT sessions since then.

Nope, would rather buy a new top.

Best thing I ever did and worth every penny.
It did take a while to find the right therapist but once I did, it was great.

I would say that it was the simultaneously the hardest thing I’ve ever done and I really really had to force myself to engage at points and make myself do what I was asked. I’m so glad I did. It’s such hard work and a long process but it has been life changing for me. I never dreamed I’d be living the way I am now.

No, unfortunately. Was helpful at times, but ultimately nothing significant has changed.

@Afteryoux I think that's very flippant and unhelpful to the OP.

I have had therapy on and off for the past 4 years, I was offered it for around 8 weeks for free via a charity connected to a family member's illness, I have then paid to see her privately since then, taking a break for around a year, I've been back with her for around a year now and pay £45 per week, I'm a single mum and give up a lot (including new tops) and if I had more money I would see her twice a week. She's kept me alive these past few years, or at least given me the skills to keep myself alive.

That’s your experience but definitely not mine.

I did type a long response giving details about why I have found therapy/counselling unhelpful but it was very personal. Generally some of it was woolly and unfocused, the therapists/counsellors expressed too much shock which I did not find helpful and I found dbt quite damaging.

I did decide I would get more from spending the £45 per week on myself (even though I didn’t actually do that as it is a lot of money.)

Yes, transformative. Paid £20 per hour with a trainee.

I had two years of schema therapy (a kind of CBT therapy) for anxiety and depression and it changed my life, I've been off meds for two years now (went off them towards the end of the therapy) with no need to go back on.

Yes - absolutely worth it. My therapist costs a fortune but he's really helped me with a lot of issues in my life and my relationships with family and my DH have really improved as a result. It takes time and it's not easy but it's worth it.

Two caveats: one is to make sure you have the right therapist. Don't be afraid to try out a couple. I had counselling with someone else in the past and she wasn't even in the same league as my current therapist - really didn't get to the root of my problems and was quite ineffectual.

Secondly: do some research and think about which type of therapy you want. CBT works for some people but it doesn't get to really deep-seated issues - the therapists I know think of it as a bit of a sticking-plaster. It can help with the symptoms of problems but you might need something more intensive.

I had CBT for General Anxiety Disorder about 7 years ago. It was on the NHS, but if Id had to pay it would have been worth every penny.
If I choose to tell people now they are very surprised to find I suffered with anxiety.

Yes I had it to deal with narcissistic family members and it helped me HUGELY

you have to be really careful its the right therapist and therapy. I saw one in Islington who turned out to be a crook, but it took 3 yrs of therapy and a complaint to discover even more malpractise, it was unbelievable. He listed all kinds of things like "bereavement", "trauma", "abuse" etc and it then transpired he had not been trained in any of those things (this is not uncommon), and in my case caused trauma, his attitude was to aggressively force his approach on me against my will without having informed me of it first, and he didnt deal with bereavement as stated and showed no expertise in it. So beware.

First NHS therapy was ... Awful. Very very young inexperienced therapist who just didn't 'get' me & seemed clueless. The second one was much older & perfect , but I moved away. Private guy i saw since is worth every penny. I'm more clear on my issues, less hard on myself & able to realise where my anger & depression come from & when they surface. Before that it was all very jumbled & I felt confused & at sea. Haven't seen him in a year as I feel I'm coping now. I think he made me feel more sekf aware & in charge of my depression if that makes sense.

Was good for grief, but I found that anxiety (which hadn't really been winning at all before grief) got worse for a while and that was rather self-perpetuating. in terms of relying on therapy. To an extent I do need to be able to know I can successfully distract away from anxiety and this was a lot more difficult during that period. The day after a session was usually all over the place - quite long lasting in terms of a mental shake up.

Yes, therapy for me was life changing - CBT helped me cope day to day for a while, some of the skills are still helpful but talking therapy with an experienced therapist got to the root of the issues and I would absolutely recommend it. It’s not easy, very painful at times but I understand myself so much better and can catch myself before I go into a spiral now.

Fortnightly sessions can work really well because it gives you time to think things through and process stuff between sessions. A good therapist will work with you at a frequency you can manage (and afford), it doesn’t need to be weekly.

Try codependants anonymous!

Mine has been NHS, both times - one after I was diagnosed with OCD, and once following a spate of trauma. Worth every second - even the weeks where I came away frustrated I'd realise afterwards I'd got something out of it.