Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Only the apps you allow.

Meet the Other Phone.
Only the apps you allow.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

See all MNHQ comments on this thread

Original poster

colleague sat on DH's lap

43 replies

mooseyso · 08/07/2019 18:15

Not sure whether I am over reacting that one of DH's colleagues came and sat on his lap to say goodbye to him at end of a night out?

She went over to him as she was leaving (he was sat down) and instead of him getting up to hug her goodbye she sat on his lap and gave him a hug, then they spoke for about 30 seconds and she then patted him on the knee and left. I was across the room watching (she obviously didn't know I was watching but knew I was there

Am I being unreasonable to feel this was way too overfamiliar?

OP posts:
PurpleGlitter1983 · 08/07/2019 18:18

Yes it's over familiar.

Daffodil2018 · 08/07/2019 18:20

What! That's outrageous. What did he say about it?

CuriousaboutSamphire · 08/07/2019 18:21

Is this your second thread about this OP?

I am sure I read this a couple of days ago!

Apologies if it wasn't you!

Haworthia · 08/07/2019 18:22

Waaaaay overfamiliar.

Original poster
mooseyso · 08/07/2019 18:23

@CuriousaboutSamphire I haven't posted about it before! It only happened on Friday and I was trying to get over it but was bothered about it as he obviously went back to work today.

He says she is young and won't have thought anything of it! She's about 15 years younger than us and he thinks they do that sort of thing a lot???

OP posts:
CuriousaboutSamphire · 08/07/2019 18:25

That is very odd as there really is an almost identical thread somewhere.

Again, my apologies. She may well be a serial knee sitter, though that won't make you feel any the less bothered by it!

NeatFreakMama · 08/07/2019 18:26

Nope that is shocking!

MoonahStone · 08/07/2019 18:26

Imagine if a man 15 years older sat on her lap. Think she may have a different perspective then.

MashedSpud · 08/07/2019 18:28

Putting your arse (dressed or not) on a colleague/boss/a man in a relationships knee/lap isn’t appropriate.

Original poster
mooseyso · 08/07/2019 18:29

@CuriousaboutSamphire please send link if you have it and I can steal their advice Grin
maybe this is a common thing? I was just really taken aback! Didn't help that DH didn't look too fussed! Hmm

OP posts:
123rd · 08/07/2019 18:30

What was the setting?( not that it makes a difference) just trying to imagine a VERY odd scenario where I couldn't wait for my male co worker to get up from where he was sitting.

AravisQueenOfArchenland · 08/07/2019 18:34

That's over familiar imo. I've never sat on a blokes knee unless I was in a relationship with him (or if fwb or whatever, was amongst friends who knew we were sleeping together).

Newtothis2017 · 08/07/2019 18:36

I am very laid back and never get jealous of my dh.... however this is a red flag waving. Completely over familiar and would send warning shots.

AravisQueenOfArchenland · 08/07/2019 18:38

I'm 27 btw, and the more I think about it, the last time I did it with a bloke I wasn't going out with, would have been when I was a teenager, and even then sitting on someone else's boyfriends knee was a no no and would have set tongues wagging. Unless the bloke was gay of course, but that's a different dynamic...

Drpeppered · 08/07/2019 18:40

I am in my 20s and wouldn’t dream of doing this. Your husband is making excuses for very over familiar behaviour, and that’s worrying.

Therealjudgejudy · 08/07/2019 18:42

No...this is not appropriate in any way shape or form.

MrsTerryPratchett · 08/07/2019 18:44

I'm very confused about whether we've reverted to some odd Mad Men style time when younger, female, possibly junior employees sit on older male ones. It's utterly mad to me but seems common in MN!

Are HR asleep? Is no one getting any training?

BettysLeftTentacle · 08/07/2019 18:48

She's about 15 years younger than us and he thinks they do that sort of thing a lot???

Is his name Billy Bullshitter? This won’t be the first time this kind of thing has happened, won’t be the last and he’s enjoying it.

ny20005 · 08/07/2019 18:51

Depends on the colleagues. That would be totally normal on a work night out with my colleagues but we're all really good friends & have worked together for 15 years plus

Sexykitten2005 · 08/07/2019 18:51

Lone voice but I’ve done this a few times. All my colleagues and their partners know each other very well and we all just do it. We are probably in a huge minority though as we go on holiday together, I’ve shared a bed with one of my colleagues partners (female) and we act more like massive family than work colleagues.
I think if I wasn’t as close to partner as I was colleague and I didn’t know them very well then yes it would be inappropriate

category12 · 08/07/2019 18:53

Was she pissed as a fart?

Otherwise, I'd be thinking something was going on between them.

DuMondeB · 08/07/2019 18:58

My (female) MP tried to sit on my lap once. She was definitely drunk.

JudgeFlounceRedRugBlah · 08/07/2019 18:59

It happens all the time at our works events. Always younger women sitting on the knee of older, usually more senior, men. Absolutely no reason to think anything is going on between any of them, its just the done thing apparently.

Makes me uncomfortable and seems way over familiar for work colleagues but I guess that's me being old Hmm

Scoobydoobywho · 08/07/2019 18:59

I'm interested as to where your dh hand was, placed on her waist or just dangling by his side.

PoppingOneOutIn2020 · 08/07/2019 19:04

I'm 23 with colleagues in their 40s,50s,60s and have never once fathomed the thought of sitting on any of their laps! How inappropriate and just Envy < not envy