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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU to think this is excessive

46 replies

Funkyslippers · 08/07/2019 16:48

Whenever we go on holiday as a family OH tends to have a pint or two before dinner, then after dinner around 4 pints then he drinks after I've gone to bed, another 1-2 pints. So could come to around 8 pints per evening. I think this is excessive. He disagrees, saying he doesn't drink during the day like some others do on holiday. I just feel this is an awful lot and it's not like he's on a lads' holiday - I don't see why he needs to drink so much on a family holiday. AIBU?

OP posts:
Stravapalava · 08/07/2019 16:49

YANBU that it is excessive, but if he's not lairy, abusive or embarrassing with it, I say let him get on with it on holiday!

Namechangeymcnamechange11 · 08/07/2019 16:52

It's excessive. I'd be asking him to reel it in a bit, especially if he's embarrassing himself or you.

shieldmaidenofrohan · 08/07/2019 16:52

Does he get drunk and obnoxious ? Is it causing financial issues ? If not then leave him alone.
7 pints is roughly equivalent to a bottle of wine so if you would drink that over an evening On holiday (and lots of us would) then you need to have a think about whether you are applying double standards. Beer is around 1/3 the ABV of wine/prosecco etc

shieldmaidenofrohan · 08/07/2019 16:54

and before you anyone starts pearl clutching about drinking bottles of wine - 3 large glasses over the course of an evening = 1 bottle

Pippa12 · 08/07/2019 16:54

If he’s rolling around drunk and ruining your holiday YANBU. If he’s just relaxing and otherwise good company I’d leave him to it. My DH enjoys a good drink on holiday but is perfectly well behaved and helps with kids etc... I suppose it depends on his actions when after his liquid beverages!

shieldmaidenofrohan · 08/07/2019 16:57

slight correction - 5 pints of beer = 1 bottle

Original poster
Funkyslippers · 08/07/2019 17:09

He's not lairy or anything, infact I barely notice the difference. It's just I don't drink much as I can't handle it, no more than 2 glasses of wine & maybe a Baileys occasionally on holiday. I just don't see why he needs to drink so much especially a couple after I'm in bed!

OP posts:
Malvinaa81 · 08/07/2019 17:13

The government/NHS guidelines say 14 units a week. He is drinking 16 units a day.

I think the 14 limit is unrealistic and many people must exceed it.

If the drinking is only while on holiday, probably just leave it unless it is causing problem behaviour.

If the drinking is the same or similar at home he would probably be classed as an alcoholic by his GP, and would need treatment.

5foot5 · 08/07/2019 17:15

If he did this every day at home too then I would say excessive.

But if he is only drinking this much because he is on holiday and he can handle it without getting ill or silly then I don't see the problem.

In fact if he is only drinking this amount while on holiday then I would say it is factually incorrect to say that he "needs to drink so much". He doesn't "need" to but he "wants" to.

DifficultPifcultLemonDifficult · 08/07/2019 17:16

Holidays are all about excess, it's not usual for him, he's not getting rat arsed and ruining everyone's holiday, and you barely notice a difference after he's had his pints, so there's no real issue is there?

EC22 · 08/07/2019 17:19

He’s on holiday, I couldn’t get excited.

StCharlotte · 08/07/2019 17:20

Oh leave him be. I have a brother who is mercilessly bullied by his wife about his (by anyone else's standards) perfectly acceptable drinking and it makes all our lives a misery when we go out as we're all on eggshells until she decides he's had enough and drags him home like a child and he won't ever stand up to her.

Sorry OP, you've hit a nerve Grin

AllFourOfThem · 08/07/2019 17:20

Does it interfere with your holiday plans? If not and he just does it on holiday, whilst not causing financial detriment, I really can’t see the issue. 🤷🏻‍♀️ (and I say this as someone who probably drinks what he drinks in one day on holiday in five years).

StCharlotte · 08/07/2019 17:21

I hasten to add, if this were every night then obviously you would not be unreasonable but on holiday... normal service is suspended isn't it?

P1nkHeartLovesCake · 08/07/2019 17:21

I drink more on holiday, sometimes a few cocktails in the day and then a whole bottle of wine over the course of a night. I got on holiday 3 times a year, when at home I don’t drink this much so I don’t see it as excessive.

I also over indulge with food on holiday. To me holidays are about indulging

mimibunz · 08/07/2019 17:22

He’s on holiday, not bothering anyone, and maybe he enjoys having time to himself after you’ve gone to bed.

Original poster
Funkyslippers · 08/07/2019 17:34

Well he does drink alot at home, not to that extent and not infront of the kids (or me, mostly) but that's a whole different thread! I think that's why I hate it so much, because it's infront of us whilst on holiday

OP posts:
managedmis · 08/07/2019 17:38

Does it stop him parenting?

AguerosAngel · 08/07/2019 17:40

As others have said, if he’s not making a dick of himself, pissing in the wardrobe, dodging helping with the kids because he’s hungover then leave him alone!

YABU, he’s on holiday!

Missingstreetlife · 08/07/2019 18:13

Not a good example to dc. Must affect his health. What can you do?

Wolfiefan · 08/07/2019 18:16

He thinks because he’s not drinking all day that it’s fine. It isn’t
That’s a huge amount of alcohol each day. Unhealthy and likely to mean he shouldn’t be driving the next day either.
If he doesn’t have an awful hangover then I bet he often drinks heavily. 16 plus units in one go would see me hospitalised.
Doubt he’s much good with kids if he’s doing that either.

babysharkah · 08/07/2019 18:18

I couldn't get bothered about it unless there's a massive backstory about how he is at home. It's a holiday.

maslinpan · 08/07/2019 18:23

It can't do your sex life much good if he prefers to stay up drinking on his own. I would be feeling rather rejected in your shoes.

Countrylifeornot · 08/07/2019 18:34

If he's a problem drinker at home then it's no real holiday for you, sitting and watching him drink on holiday. YANBU Flowers

FourEyesGood · 08/07/2019 18:34

Surely I can’t be the only one who reads this and thinks, “Bloody hell - he must have to wake up every half hour for a wee after all that!”? How on earth does his bladder cope? I can barely drink a small glass of water after 6pm without having to stumble to the loo at 3am.