Row - reading list

[listquestion]

My American husband can not believe that my daughters school do not have a (year 8) summer reading list. We have explained they don't but he doesn't believe us. How can I prove that the list does not exist without embarrassing ourselves? Does your school set a reading list? Is it something we just don't do in the UK?
NB obviously my daughter will be doing her own reading over the summer, yes I'm really annoyed he 'doesn't believe' us.

why not just let him call the school? If anyone there mentions it to you, you can say it's just him being an arse.

Did she have a year 7 reading list?

If she's never had one in the past why does he suddenly expect one this year?

He sounds very petulant with the "not believing her" - why's he got such a bee in his bonnet about it?

Is this information not on the school website? It generally is with ours, or on the Year Facebook page. Maybe he can check there?

I'd have a look at something like this, and tell your husband to grow up, and start trusting his daughter.
Reading lists are not common in the UK.

JacquesHammer even if you had a 10 week holiday, and typical UK schools holidays are more like 6 weeks, that's over a book a day 😮

Never had these. I don't really hold with doing much prep over summer holidays unless it's for public exam years or it's remedial. I only did "summer reading" when I was doing my english a-level, and then it was because I chose to, not because I was obliged! Is your Dd a good reader anyway? If so I can imagine a book list is a limitation rather than a starting point.

I was a bookworm at school and I would have resented that. I would've picked my books to take away for the summer and would have resented having to lug whatever the school librarian /teachers thought I should read along, too.

I hate the idea of set books. I hate it for GCSEs and I hate it for A levels - in the Netherlands where I grew up, there were no set books for anything. You could pick something, check in with your teacher and if they approved it, it was good to go.

I'd have hated a summer reading list and I'm glad there is no such thing in most UK schools. Summer holidays are for fun and rest.

Your 'D'H is a dick for kicking off about this - either he checks with the school and looks like a prat, or he believes you and your DD and shuts up about it.

If you don't want your husband to call the school, can you ask the form teacher to provide a note confirming there is no reading list?

Are you separated-he sounds like an arse?!

It's one of those 'you have a DH problem' situations. He doesn't respect either you or your daughter. Also, he's a knob.

They have much longer summer breaks in the US than in the UK . Many other European countries they set quite a lot of homework as the summer holidays are 13 weeks long so children will have forgotten loads otherwise. In the UK it is just over 5 weeks long so less homework is given. Does he not understand that?

even if you had a 10 week holiday, and typical UK schools holidays are more like 6 weeks, that's over a book a day

Pretty much, but I read on average about 450 books a year now

OP is your DH your DD's father? Don't understand how she's gotten to Year 8 and only now he's wondering about the summer reading.

I never had a problem with the summer reading list, it was very long and there was plenty that I'd have chosen myself had it not been recommended. And they school did take suggestions if you had something you preferred, the teachers would say yea or nay.

To try and be helpful, if you're friends with other school parents in your DD's class on social media, would a carefully worded message to which the reply would be negative satisfy your partner and close this issue without opening a family disagreement to the school?

If so, perhaps something along the lines of, 'Have you heard of a Summer reading list for DDs class this year? I didn't think so but overheard a couple of parents talking about one at pick up?'

Good luck.

Longer term, you've probably already got a plan in place to encourage the building of some trust and communication between DD and DH so he doesn't end up alienating her as she grows older. I know you shouldn't have to but from the tone of your post, OP, it sounds like it might be helpful.

I’d be more concerned about him not believing what you are saying than proving the existence of a reading list.

When you show the negative to show your DD wasn't lying, you could say you approached the school and the school have created a father and daughter reading and activity list in which the father is expected to fully read a selection of books your daughter chooses about which he then provide individual in-depth book reports for your daughter to take the role of teacher to and grade to help her understand literature better. I expect the school also created a list of educational activities your daughter would like to do with her father to build communication. As he's so focused on his daughter's education, I expect he'll love the opportunity to put more 'skin in the game'.

Is there a school/year parents Facebook page? I would a comment on there, along the lines of ‘please help me convince my y8-American husband that there is no reading list or set homework to be done over the summer holiday by those going from y8 to y9. What can I say. He’s American where apparently the sky falls in if you don’t do your summer reading list so he is struggling with the concept of schools that don’t have a reading list and can’t belueve that it is possible to be a school without them. Please help me convince him that a) we don’t have reading lists and b) the world doesn’t stop turning, the sun still comes up every morning and the sky won’t fall down as a result of this! Cheers’
And there will always be a few parents that will oblige and say you’re right, no reading lists. Especially if you do it in a humerous way. If he is embarrassed - too bloody right he should be - he should have listened to you!

We issue summer reading to KS4 to read their GCSE Literature texts. Younger year groups have suggested lists but these are advisory rather than compulsory.

DH needs to remember that we have 'only' six weeks' holiday compared to the usual eleven weeks in the US.

The school website would have information ( I'm guessing) about homework, projects and enrichments so look there. Email the head of year and ask if you've missed anything. But IME most star schools don't do this. USA schools are so different.

FWIW my DH is forever saying stuff like this because he went to a private school his whole life and has no personal experience of the UK State Education system. And he left school 42 years ago! He wouldn't send our kids to a private school but was always critical of how 'poor' their education was...

I was going to get DD1 end of year 9 to go through the plays and book for GCSE Lit that we've been given that seems like common sense to me.

Perhaps he's got confused when GCSE start mixed in with the cultural norm he knows from the USA of reading lists?

No, three children all in school inScotland at various stages, no reading lists.

Although my friend who lived in the US had reading lists for her kids.

It's not a British thing.

If you don’t want h phoning your DDs school, make a list of the phone numbers of all the other local schools give him the phone and tell him to get calling.

@fedup21 Not yet. 🙄
@UtterlyUnimaginativeUsername Agree, couldn't get past the reading list point to get to the 'you're a knob' point.

I've made my points, we need a referee counsellor. It's so frustrating to argue over something trivial when there is very clearly another deeper issue that needs routing out.

I’m quite puzzled by all the people suggesting she shows him evidence. Unless this is a lighthearted dispute, the OP’s word is enough, surely? If the daughter is unaware of a reading list, and the OP is satisfied there isn’t one then it’s settled. If in September it turns out that there was then the daughter is in for some pretty intensive reading and a good reminder of why you should listen and check instructions!