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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To feel mortified all over again

46 replies

Northernsoulgirl45 · 08/07/2019 00:42

Many years ago we wer on holiday in Spain. I was a UK size 16 and saw a lovely pj set.
I told the lady my size and she produced a set on a dark colour. My mum asked if they had any other colours and she was told that this was the only colour in such a big size. I purchased set.
Cue years later and my wright has yo yoed but I am now mu lowest in 15 years. Tjis set had come down from the wardrobe and fits. Wrll maybe a little big. I should be happy but all I can remember is that conversation.
So is a size 16 really that huge?

OP posts:

Original poster

Northernsoulgirl45 · 08/07/2019 00:42

Sorry for typos.

OP posts:

cakeandchampagne · 08/07/2019 00:54

16 is not huge- but I’m reading this and wondering:
Do you still really like them?
Are they comfortable?
Do they wash well?
Is your mother still alive, and well enough to travel with you?
Did you have fun & good weather in Spain?

Size was the smallest part of your story.

purpleme12 · 08/07/2019 00:56

But the clothes sizes are generally smaller in Spain anyway aren't they so it's not comparable to here

stillmoving · 08/07/2019 00:58

What's with all the posts about size tonight?

Killybashangel · 08/07/2019 01:03

"such a big size" was very rude, but was it maybe lost in translation and she meant "that's all we've got in that size?"
Size 16 isn't huge no

LAS504 · 08/07/2019 01:12

Not huge. Not at all.

RubberTreePlant · 08/07/2019 01:22

16 is the UK average.

Hithere12 · 08/07/2019 01:29

16 is the UK average

Not for a young person it isn’t. If you’re in your twenties the average is around a 10/12. The size 16 average is because the stats include women of all ages.

user1473878824 · 08/07/2019 01:55

I know I’m going to get absolutely flamed for this and I do understand why and OP I’m very sorry because I don’t mean it to make you feel bad. But yes, a 16 is big. A 14 is now average but that’s because we’ve all got so much bigger that average doesn’t now mean a healthy norm, it’s just that most people are a bit fat. But because it’s the “norm” it makes it sound like everyone is that size now generally so it’s fine.

Original poster

Northernsoulgirl45 · 08/07/2019 01:58

I was in my late twenties when I was a 14/16.
My lovely mum passed away 8 years ago.
I had some great holidays at that time.
I suppose I have lots of memories attached to thrm and should let them go.

OP posts:

Original poster

Northernsoulgirl45 · 08/07/2019 02:06

user I remembered when I hit 10 stone the 1st time and I was appalled. I must have been a size 14 as my wedding dress was a 14.
Since than my weight had yo yoed right up tp a BMI of 40 but I am now about a 14/16 and no longer obese so actually I feel really good about my weight. And know that I am healthy.
Still want to lose more but maybe I need to ditch the set as it has too many memories attached.

OP posts:

Expressedways · 08/07/2019 02:09

A size 16 is not small. Your height would determine how big that is. But does that really matter?

Presuming English wasn’t her first language I’m sure the shop assistant’s comment wasn’t meant that way. People are generally a bit smaller (slimmer and shorter) in Spain versus the UK too. She probably just meant that’s all we have in a 16 or something like that.

Get rid of the PJs if they don’t make you feel good about yourself. And I’m sorry about your Mum.

BusterGonad · 08/07/2019 02:23

A size 16 can be huge or slim, depending on your height. Someone 4ft would look really quite large. Someone 6ft would look in proportion and probably slim.

HuntIdeas · 08/07/2019 05:55

To be honest, it just sounds like someone who doesn’t know English that well. She would have meant that the lighter colours don’t go up to that size or they don’t have any in of that size

Killybashangel · 08/07/2019 07:07

If it wasn't lost in translation and she was just very rude then her rudeness will probably affect her business as it will put Spaniards off as much as tourists.

Killybashangel · 08/07/2019 07:13

Also she'll lose out on a lot of sales if she doesn't cater for people above a 14.

RedSheep73 · 08/07/2019 07:18

Don't take stuff like that persobally, life's too short. I remember trying to buy trainers once and the bloke saying I'd have trouble with such unusually big feet - I'm a 7. He was a prat. So was this woman. If you are happy with your size, stuff her. If you aren't, then what one random woman in Spain says is the least of your problems. It's what you think that matters.

PooWillyBumBum · 08/07/2019 07:26

Don’t feel mortified, it’s just a pair of PJs!

This is taken from an NY times article 10 years ago which says “According to the study, 56 percent of Spanish women have a normal body mass index - the ratio of weight to height - while 25 percent are slightly overweight. Just over 12 percent are obese and 1.4 percent are thin or very thin.”

I suspect your (former?) body type was/is a bit more unusual in spain. As with all things, though, I think it changes with region (e.g. in France the different between Normandy and Nice is stark) age and socioeconomic background. At work, in a company of 200, I can think of about 5 people who can be described as anything else but slim or athletic but walking around in the local town would give me a completely different sense of what is normal.

If you like the PJs, wear them!

pasturesgreen · 08/07/2019 07:33

I mean this kindly, OP, but you say yourself this happened many years ago...did the salesperson literally say 'such a big size' or have you been embellishing the incident a bit in your memory (I know have a tendency to do this!)? If she used those exact words, might her meaning have been lost in translation somewhat? People can come across as more brusque when speaking a foreign language.

It's been years ago, try to put this behind you and not dwell on it, for your own peace of mind.

TapasForTwo · 08/07/2019 07:42

"16 is the UK average."

That's meaningless on its own. As a PP has pointed out, at 6' a 16 would look fine. At my height (5'7") I would look like the back of a bus. So, for most women it is on the large size.

CheddarGorgeous · 08/07/2019 07:45

Clothes sizing is a completely useless measure of weight/body size. I have gone from a 14 to an 8 in 20 years without losing any weight because of vanity sizing.

OP, what do the scales say?

TwoleftUggs · 08/07/2019 07:47

Get rid of the pjs. There’s no good memories attached to them. You don’t want to replay that one conversation every single time you wear them. Find a nice photo of you and your mum on that same holiday and remember that instead.

Lovestonap · 08/07/2019 07:49

Wait, you've been a bmi 40 and you're back to a 14/16?! That's incredible, well done!

ems137 · 08/07/2019 07:50

I've got to be honest. Size 16 is big though. My close friend is a 16 at 5ft 3in and she's overweight/obese. I don't judge anyone for it, that's not what I'm saying, but a size 16 is quite overweight in my opinion. I'm a 10/12 and wouldn't kid myself that I'm super slim in the same way my friend doesn't kid herself that she's a healthy size/weight.

MashedSpud · 08/07/2019 07:56

As people have said it’s all about height.

Keep the pjs if you want, cherish your memories of your mum and well done on your weight loss.

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