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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

I am I know I am and a spoilt cow but please read anyways.

34 replies

pipsqueeke · 28/07/2007 08:45

ARGGGHHH!!!!

DH and I were trying but not really iycwim for no 2, I get pg, and what happens - DB and his GF also try and have a call today that she's also pg - I woudn't mind so much but a) he split form his ex about 4 /5 weeks ago - max, and 2 he was cheating on SIL with the new GF. - his business thou. anyhow when I was expecting DS my cousin announced when his GF for 1 month was 4 weeks PG. (I was 6 weeks at the time hadn't announced it or anything) we'd been trying for about 9 months had 1 m/c as well in that time and started fertility investigations.

I know I sound like a cow and a bitch - i'm not honest. but this time I wanted to have 1 pg when no one else in the family was as mainly it's to do with my cousin doing no wrong. but ooh I don't know. and now M&D will be on the phone saying it's not right they're not married etc etc he's still tied to his ex thru a morgaged house. M&D were unimpressed at the thought NGF was pg - god knows what they'll say now (v old fashioned)

I am genuinly happy - honestly I am. I just wanted 1 PG when I wasn't compared to someone and my child wasn't.

go on tell me I am unreasonabe and a cow but it's allowed as i'm pg and it's pg hormones

OP posts:
Tamdin · 28/07/2007 08:53

It is your hormones but understandable. no-one likes having their thunder stolen.

Budababe · 28/07/2007 08:55

You're allowed!

Saturn74 · 28/07/2007 08:56

Yes, you're right.

Anyone you know should abstain from sex from the moment you announce your pregnancy, to the moment you give birth!

YABU - but only a bit - I can see why you feel the way you do.

WideWebWitch · 28/07/2007 08:57

What ARE you on about? Millions of women will be pregnant at the same time as you. Honestly, it wouldn't have occurred to me to be pissed off with anyone in my family being pregnant, it simply wouldn't. In fact my sister and I had babies 7 weeks apart.

All the rest of it none of your business imo.

Original poster
pipsqueeke · 28/07/2007 08:57

seriously I didn't mena to agree. but it's jsut if I tell DH he will say you spoilt bitch and if I tell mum she will feel bad (not that she will compare as I know she won't) but nans etc will do. ooh shit and then they'res the crib (family hairloom) if we're due at the same time we'll both want to use it I had it wiht DS thou so I guess thats fair.

OP posts:
Original poster
pipsqueeke · 28/07/2007 08:58

I know I am as I say - I think it's more the circs tbh.

OP posts:
BandofMuggles · 28/07/2007 09:09

i know what you mean, and i think you meant no one else in th family, not no one elsein the world.
I also think you should rank above gf of 5 weeks for the crib. not that there should be ranking within families, of co\ u rse. oops dd2 contributing to the post.

don't worry too much abou t it.
Do you think you could be friends with her??

My sister was pg with her first while I was pg with DD2 and it was quite nice. She was 10 weeks behind. And took 10 mths to conceive but never showed how jealous and a bit annoyed she was that I conceived first. As she was genuinely happy for me.

BandofMuggles · 28/07/2007 09:11

BTW I think you're allowed to be unreasonable on here, esp when you can't be in rl.

How's it going anyway??? When are you planning to tell??

This is ow right??? Still not allowed to say your original name

moondog · 28/07/2007 09:11

You are being completely ridiculous.
Get a grip.
Next you'll be on here moaning about how that have stolen the name you have wanted since you were 6.

BandofMuggles · 28/07/2007 09:12

Moondog, That would really piss me off tbh.

moondog · 28/07/2007 09:15

Wot,stealing 'your' name???

WideWebWitch · 28/07/2007 09:15

God, that wouldn't piss me off, no-one OWNS names.

Although I suppose if someone came here and posted as wikedwaterwitch I might have something to say about it , on mn is slightly different though.

WideWebWitch · 28/07/2007 09:16

And of course I'd have to point out that wiked is an incorrect spelling of wicked

BandofMuggles · 28/07/2007 09:17

yeah, if i'd wanted to use a name and someone pipped me at the post i'd be seriously peeved. wouldn't say so, but would be gutted.

moondog · 28/07/2007 09:17
Hmm
BandofMuggles · 28/07/2007 09:18

always wanted DD1's name, for years, and would never have thought a different name was as good, or felt right.
Know it seems silly, but that is how I'd have felt, esp with hormones going mad

Original poster
pipsqueeke · 28/07/2007 09:18

I don't give a monkey's arse about names tbh as DH never likes the ones I do lol. but I am rather fond of jemma at the mo.

bom - yes it's me all ok - it was sort of announced by a friend on thurs was a bit upset but it's done now so everyone knows.

re being friends with the girl. I've met her once, she seems plesent enough DB is obv happy wiht her so I am, but there's somehting I can't quite put my finger on - it's prob nothing, tbh it's prob cos she;s the complete opp to his ex. we could be friends I think.

as it stands we're roughly the same time along. they live about 1.5 hours away fo it's not like we'll see each otehr all the time - which relaly makes it harder to be firends if that makes sence.

(did mean family yes) still it's done now. - and i'm the trusted secret keeper lol.

OP posts:
Charlottesweb · 28/07/2007 09:20

ffs, no-one has the exclusive right to be the only one pregnant at the one time Or to a name for that matter.

In fact my dd was born in Dec & my cousins wife had a dd in April..she called her the exact same name as I calle my dd! First name & second name..... We weren't close & the first name isn't unusual, in fact it's quite plain & common [Emma] so I wasn't worried.

I don't think the fact he is with her a short time is any of your business.

Could you go & see them & try to get friendly with her? The pregnancy could be great with someone to share it with!! And your children will be very close in age

BandofMuggles · 28/07/2007 09:22

Hmm, annoying thatsomeone else told. My sister did that when I was first pg. She was living with us so knew straight away and she told my mum before I did. Was so as you only get to tell your mum she's going to have a grandchild once (DD1 was the first GC)
Ended up m/c that pg but when I fell pg with DD1 immediately afterwards SHE DID IT AGAIN

Was furious with her as she knew how upset I'd been the first time and then she did it again.

Original poster
pipsqueeke · 28/07/2007 09:23

I know ther'sno exclusive right - i'm having a momnet right now. cousins baby and my DS are 2 weeks apart. think this and mine will be about the same - althou she nither is 100% sure on dates.

one good thing - DB will finally know what it's like

and that sounds mean but seriously he seems to think DS can jsut be either palmed off or we have buckets of cash to go clubbing every weekend etc! lol. and he'll ahve to finally change a baby's bum! lol - will love to see that! he he.

OP posts:
BandofMuggles · 28/07/2007 09:23

CWeb, so it didn't annoy you even a tiny bit that she chose the exact same name as you???

Charlottesweb · 28/07/2007 09:56

No.. I remember sighing pityingly to my mum "Oh, Sarah has no imagination, she couldn't be bothered to think of her own name so she copied me" Then adding "My Emma will always be nicer than hers anyway"

BandofMuggles · 28/07/2007 09:57

Do you think it'll be wierd when they're older???

Original poster
pipsqueeke · 28/07/2007 10:01

lol.

we have that many people in our family it's hard to pick a name that someone doesn't already have! lol.

am over ther moment now and feel like a right cow as I wasn't more upbeat and happy sounding when DB rang- will ring him back in a bit and claim I was tired (was I mean what fool rings at 8.30am? lol)

also I ahve 2 good friends PG and due at the same time as me so it's not a case of no one can be PG guess it's someone to moan symptoms with! lol.

OP posts:
DontlookatmeIamborrrring · 28/07/2007 10:12

I think it's great that the cousins will grow up similar ages, I still have strong connections with my cousins.

As an aside, your comment 'we'd been trying for about 9 months had 1 m/c as well in that time and started fertility investigations.' surprised me - that's not long to be trying and to have been pg at all - my gp made me wait for at least 12/18 months without being pg at all before referring me for investigations.

Good luck with the pg - enjoy it and don't worry about what everyone else is doing