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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think that house buying is the norm in my world?

326 replies

Friendly1234 · 07/07/2019 09:47

NC’d for this, I was reading an article this morning about how ppl are finding it hard to get on the property ladder these days and I realized that literally every single one of my friends and family have been buying houses with relative ease for the past 10 years (I’m in my early 30’s!) so from what I can see it’s the norm to buy (and build houses) at around 24-26!! I wouldn’t say my friend have particularly high powered jobs either, most are nurses, teachers and have apprenticeships. A few even work in retail!!

OP posts:
CuriousaboutSamphire · 07/07/2019 13:02

Really Worra?

You can't imagine anyone reeading an atricle and thinking - that doesn't match my life experience and wanting to talk about it?

I tried, many moons ago, and got pretty much the same repsonse as OP is getting now. I have read lots of others too. It always ends up the same. Poeple who live in expensive areas just assume the OP is taking the piss and respond in variously acerbic ways.

It is almost as if simply noticing the differences is red rag to some... an act that requires decisive action to put the OP back in their box. Why?

Why can't those of us who don't live in expensive areas talk about our experiences with house buying etc without all the name calling?

PleaseGoogleIt · 07/07/2019 13:11

I bought my first house 6 years ago, aged 24 and just on my 16k salary! BUT, I live in Leeds and we had a 20% deposit from grandparents (the house was only 70k).

We've tripled salaries since then and have a much bigger house - 3 bed 1800s detached cottage but it still only cost 160k.

All that being said, I don't think it is the norm to own your own house in my circle - DH and I are the only ones out of our 4 brothers and sisters that do. The rest rent and therefore can't afford to save for a deposit. And if I lived London/SE then even on the salaries we're in now it wouldn't have been possible.

thewildrose · 07/07/2019 13:11

@Friendly1234

"@PicsInRed yeah but ppl don’t complain about not being able to by a super yacht and the article was about houses"

You refer to your post as an article. So I'm sure this thread will turn up in a shitrag soon 👍🏼

NinjaInFluffyPJs · 07/07/2019 13:14

@Friendly1234 did you read the one where they queued in cars for days?

Saltystraw · 07/07/2019 13:16

It might be because of your age.. I’m in australia but it was much more affordable for me and my friends to buy in our 20’s then it is for 20 something year olds to buy now. I’m early 30’s and a lot of my friends own but a lot of people 5-10 years younger didn’t get a chance to get into the market before it became too unaffordable.

HorridHenrysNits · 07/07/2019 13:21

But lots of people can’t. A quick look at a major jobs website for my sector shows there are 287 job vacancies on London for my role. There are 43 in the whole of the rest of the UK.

It depends really though doesn't it? People in that position can't leave London if they want to stay working in the same sector, and I do see how people might prioritise that. Equally though, if they're willing to do something different for a better quality of life, that option may well be there.

As an example, there is a call centre near me where the starting salary is 19k, it recruits a lot, and with commission you can be well into the low 20s after a couple of months. Especially if you would be willing to do shifts. They also offer part time. There is often recruitment for security jobs at a nearby facility which are about 22k with shift allowance. I know people who do both of these jobs and they say they're alright, and it's not zero hour or anything of that nature. You can get a 3 bed locally with a good sized garden for about 130k: not the cheapest area of the city by any means, but equally there'd be no commuting costs, there are places in the schools, and there are enough 30 hour childcare places for 3 year olds locally.

I can see why people want to stay in the careers they've worked hard to establish, but equally, the quality of life that I've just described is better than some of the descriptions from posters on here struggling to stay in London. Clearly it isn't an option for all families and individuals struggling in the south east to just do this and boom, societal problem fixed, but on an individual level it may well be.

WorraLiberty · 07/07/2019 13:23

You can't imagine anyone reeading an atricle and thinking - that doesn't match my life experience and wanting to talk about it?

"AIBU unreasonable to think that house buying is the norm in my world?"

Then the OP goes on to state that in her world everyone has bought their own houses.

So of course it's the norm.

HorridHenrysNits · 07/07/2019 13:27

I tried, many moons ago, and got pretty much the same repsonse as OP is getting now. I have read lots of others too. It always ends up the same. Poeple who live in expensive areas just assume the OP is taking the piss and respond in variously acerbic ways.

It is almost as if simply noticing the differences is red rag to some... an act that requires decisive action to put the OP back in their box. Why?

Yes I've noticed this too. See also, people who have the temerity to live in social housing without being on the absolute bones of their arse, and dare to point out that not everywhere has the same need criteria or shortage as London and the south east.

CuriousaboutSamphire · 07/07/2019 13:44

That's the point I was making Worra Her life, her experience. What was yours, again? That she is taking the piss?

CuriousaboutSamphire · 07/07/2019 13:49

Oh, don't with the social housing!

We have a couple of Housing Associations. In general they are par for the course, I suspect, a bit Parson's egg.

But we have 'affordable homes' in every new development, a few hundred up for sale as I type! NONE of them will be sold to locals, but they will be sold to people who meet the criteria, whatever they may be. Town centre HA places are ALL local occupied... and are far, far less salubrious, think flats and two up two downs versus smaller versions of executive homes with garages. So round here there is reasoning behind the resentment but it is still taken to extremes.

We just have to go back to the reasoning behind selling off Corpy houses and the continued reasoning behind not replacing them!

Pannalash · 07/07/2019 13:51

How super for you OP Biscuit

WorraLiberty · 07/07/2019 13:53

That's the point I was making Worra Her life, her experience. What was yours, again? That she is taking the piss?

Yes, spot on.

icannotremember · 07/07/2019 13:54

Oh.

CuriousaboutSamphire · 07/07/2019 13:59

OK! That told the internet.

MonkeyToesOfDoom · 07/07/2019 14:03

Imagine if someone started a thread about renting social housing and it being normal in their world.

I wonder what responses it'd get? Lots of biscuits I'd imagine.

WaterOffaDucksCrack · 07/07/2019 14:14

It's certainly not the norm in my circle. I don't know anyone who has bought a house without inheritance or family help. A few people I know say they have had no family help as they don't class living at home rent free until their late 20s as help.

I on the other hand (in my 20s) had to get my own space before the age of 16 and had my son aged 24 (conceived by rape) so have rented. But I'm still proud of myself for being a single parent with no help and building a career at the same time.

My older sister will say she doesn't understand why I dont "just buy a house". She bought one over 10 years ago using 10k our parents gave her, then sold it and bought one with her husband who was also given 10k from his parents. There have been a couple of times where I've said "if someone gave me 10k like our parents did for you I'd buy one in no time!" Which she just ignores!

LakieLady · 07/07/2019 15:07

I've just looked on Rightmove, as I'm a bit out of touch with prices/rents here (Sussex, 50 miles from London).

The cheapest 1-bed flat is just £50 shy of £200k. Even with a 10% deposit, and 2 salaries, you'd need to be earning a decent salary to be able to get a big enough mortgage to buy this ex-LA flat (and East Sussex wages average just over £25k).

Then I looked at rentals. The cheapest one-bed flat is £800 a month, ie around half the average take home pay. So pretty hard to save up a deposit if you're single and paying rent.

The only person I know who's been able to buy as a single person in the last 10 years or so had to live like a pauper for years - lodging in other people's houses, not having holidays, relying on hand-me-down clothes from her better off sisters and driving old bangers (essential user, so has to have a car for work). And she had to buy in a rather rough town 10 miles away.

Every other first-time buyer I know who's bought in the last few has had help with a deposit from family, or some other sort of windfall.

The combination of high housing costs and lower than average wages is a nightmare for people who want to stay close to family.

HorridHenrysNits · 07/07/2019 15:25

Those figures look dreadfully plausible lakielady.

NinjaInFluffyPJs · 07/07/2019 15:29

Where I am the cheapest 1 bed flat is 35k...

Muddledupme · 07/07/2019 15:45

My local area has one bedroom flats for 250k so you need a hefty deposit and a decent income to buy one. I can't imagine anyone working in retail would ever be able to buy a bedsit sadly.

fancynancyclancy · 07/07/2019 15:50

I know banks have started to loosen up again but 2/3 yrs they were very strict in terms of what they would lend plus it’s better to have a bigger deposit to get the more competitive rates.

madeyemoodysmum · 07/07/2019 17:39

Our mil has terminal cancer so we couldn’t get to a cheaper area if we wanted to we are staying here for the duration

Also we have settled kids etc and other parents to consider.

There’s more to life than a cheap house. If only it was that easy.

NinjaInFluffyPJs · 07/07/2019 17:46

@fancynancyclancy it's is better in term of rates, bit even with bit higher interest on 5% deposit, I still saved money compare to renting. It's especially handy if you buy a house which needs some work done, so you can add to value like we did by the end of the fix. 2 years on I got a normal competitive rate and there is still work to be done.
In cheap areas, it's doable and not that hard. In London and south, it's a bit of a different story

Gin96 · 07/07/2019 18:21

All my friends own there house and i’m In the SE but I am 50, non of our children can afford a house and still live at home, they are all mid 20’s

Biancadelrioisback · 07/07/2019 18:32

I really, really hate it when people say "we worked really hard to buy our house".
I worked really hard but at 22 I was single and working on cruise ships earning less than £800 a month and some days I worked for over 20 hours. I worked very hard but I chose to spend my money in other ways and paying off uni debts.
It's easier for 2 earners to save £18k so it requires a lot of planning and if you haven't met your SO at a young age, you might not even start saving until mid 20s.
We bought our house at 28 & 30. We had a £20k gift to buy it with. We are not unusual.