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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To think that house buying is the norm in my world?

326 replies

Friendly1234 · 07/07/2019 09:47

NC’d for this, I was reading an article this morning about how ppl are finding it hard to get on the property ladder these days and I realized that literally every single one of my friends and family have been buying houses with relative ease for the past 10 years (I’m in my early 30’s!) so from what I can see it’s the norm to buy (and build houses) at around 24-26!! I wouldn’t say my friend have particularly high powered jobs either, most are nurses, teachers and have apprenticeships. A few even work in retail!!

OP posts:
CuriousaboutSamphire · 08/07/2019 12:23

You can't say anything positive about your life when you get something others don't... Daft isn't it? There are plenty of things I cannot get, will never afford, will never have the opportunity to try, buy, beg, steal or borrow. Other things I will only ever be able to get small, cheap, less wonderful versions of.

For example, I would love to have the range of goods and services, leisure and cultural opportunties that London residents often have access to. But can't... because I live in the boonies and getting to London is too much of a pfaff from here. But I don't want to live in or near London, so I do without. Also I would never tell anyone starting a thread about them to shut the fuck up, or that they are taking the piss!

AverageMummy · 08/07/2019 12:23

I live in one of the poorest parts of the country (nowhere near London) & live inner city where child poverty rates are almost 40%. I am a home owner but where I live rare - agents approach me all the time about my house because “landlords own 90% of your area, you could sell your house within 24 hours”. So I think it’s nonsense to think this is just a London issue.

Snog · 08/07/2019 15:17

OP your social circle is whatever it is but it's evidently not representative for the general UK population.
YABU to think others are interested in your particular social circle as a random internet poster.

Snog · 08/07/2019 15:17

OP your social circle is whatever it is but it's evidently not representative for the general UK population.
YABU to think others are interested in your particular social circle as a random and anonymous internet poster.

CuriousaboutSamphire · 08/07/2019 16:02

YABU to think others are interested in your particular social circle as a random and anonymous internet poster.

OK. Everybody out! Mumsnet is closed. Nothing to see here. On your way!

Kidworries · 08/07/2019 16:06

That's nice for you op. Where we live the averedge 2 bed terraced house is about 350k. Not that easy to get onto the ladder.

NinjaInFluffyPJs · 08/07/2019 16:09

@CuriousaboutSamphire 😂

adaline · 08/07/2019 19:06

YABU to think others are interested in your particular social circle as a random and anonymous internet poster.

Isn't that the entire point of Mumsnet? Confused

CuriousaboutSamphire · 08/07/2019 19:16

Ya think!!!!

Grin
HorridHenrysNits · 08/07/2019 20:06

Surprised to see several people telling OP she's lucky to live where she does. I'd understand saying she's lucky to have been able to get regular work, save the small deposit etc, as lots of people still can't. Or lucky to be able to travel, partner early. But lucky merely to live in the north of England? It's a fab place, but it doesn't require particularly comment-worthy good fortune for someone from the south of England to be able to get here.

Blibbyblobby · 08/07/2019 20:47

But lucky merely to live in the north of England?

Lucky to be satisfied with the North of England? (I say this as an ex-Northerner)

SinkGirl · 08/07/2019 22:43

I bought my home at 21 with my then partner 13yrs ago.

To do this I worked very hard, had NO luxuries (by this I mean no new clothing, no car, no eating out, no cinema trips etc - we basically didn't have a life). I had no handouts from parents as my family have always struggled for money.

I do think that a lot of people these days aren't a poor as they say they are. If you can afford to drink/smoke/eat out/have little treats/spend £5 a day at Starbucks, then you could be saving that money towards a deposit which is far more important in my opinion. It's about budgeting and scraping every last penny into a savings pot. We managed to sort out a 20% deposit within 4yrs despite being on low incomes.

I understand that London prices are higher, but generally, so are the wages. Also, once on the ladder your prices rise higher. I've managed to put only £10k on my house in 13yrs - which leaves me struggling to buy a larger/better property.

It’s not just about London though! Your experience is not universal.

I went to uni in the midlands and then moved back to the south coast where my family were. The main reason I moved back was because there was one company there in the industry in which I wanted to work, my only other options were London or Bath, which were as expensive or more expensive. London would have come with higher wages, but also higher rents.

I’d put myself through uni, my course didn’t allow me to work during term time but I worked every hour going in the holidays, and still left with several grand on an overdraft. Took me 6 months after graduating to find a decent job, until then I worked minimum wage which barely covered my rent in a hideous flat share. I skipped dinner most nights.

When I did get a job with the company I was hoping to work for, my starting salary was £11k. Moved to a slightly nicer flat share after one of my flat mates was mugged walking back to our flat.

I’ve never owned a car in my life, rarely buy clothes, have always been frugal - took me several years to pay off my debts, let alone save anything.

Company went bust and had to move to London. Rented a tiny 1 bed council flat - it was cheap, but turned to out to be an illegal sublet so had to move. Was on a decent wage for the first time ever and was achaily able to save some. Then my health deteriorated and I ended up having to give up my career and move back to my home town at 29. I then tried to be self employed and make some money rather than making nothing because I was too unwell to hold down a regular job.

DH and I only own a house because my mum died and I inherited part of her house. My mum had never been in a position to help us financially in any way, but her life insurance paid off her mortgage in full. Without that, we’d still be renting and struggling to save (our rent was nearly double our current mortgage payment but then we had a 40% deposit).

The fact that you could buy at 21 would have a lot to do with your personal circumstances, the fact you didn’t have a single income for mortgage calculations, the fact that you must have bought somewhere where the properties are an attainable multiple of average joint income. At 21, a one bed flat in the town where I worked was 10x my salary at least. Saving a deposit wasn’t even the biggest hurdle - it was borrowing enough to buy in the first place.

dodgeballchamp · 09/07/2019 13:11

Being able to access secure housing shouldn’t mean sacrificing every single thing that’s enjoyable about life. Does nobody ever step back and think how wrong that is? Also, the obsession with ‘the ladder’ needs to stop. Property shouldn’t be for profit. If and when I buy (which I’m loathe to do but the only other option is to live in a bus stop in retirement age as I won’t be able to afford private rents) I’ll buy once and live there forever. Housing should be about needs and security not profit and assets. The market needs a complete overhaul

NinjaInFluffyPJs · 09/07/2019 18:00

Secure housing and buying are two different things.

I saved up and now, with mortgage lower than what rent would be, I can enjoy things. Like many others.
If you want something, you do need to do something for it. Want to be in a good job? Get qualifications and training and so temporarily forego your free time. Want to own a house? Temporarily forego some pleasures.
For anything gained, there is some sacrifice.

dodgeballchamp · 09/07/2019 20:14

My point Ninja is there shouldn’t have to be any sacrifice involved for a home which is a basic human need

adaline · 09/07/2019 20:21

Being able to access secure housing shouldn’t mean sacrificing every single thing that’s enjoyable about life.

Plenty of people on here have bought houses without doing that, though. That's pretty much the whole point of the thread.

We didn't really sacrifice much to save for our deposit, except maybe holidays and such for a couple of years. We still went out, had pets, bought new things. Neither of us are on high salaries. We just live in a very cheap area and were willing to buy a fixer-upper.

My point is there shouldn’t have to be any sacrifice involved for a home which is a basic human need

How will that work, then? Will the government just house everyone? Who's going to pay the rent, bills and upkeep on all these houses? If someone doesn't work and pay rent (which is a sacrifice of sorts) is the government just going to foot the bill for eternity?

dodgeballchamp · 09/07/2019 20:41

Yes I’d actually love a system where all housing is social housing and fees for upkeep are paid as tax. But since that’ll never happen I’d settle for tighter regulations of the rental sector, caps on house prices/how much they can increase by, stricter regulations on developers so they can’t inflate prices or not build enough social housing, limits on how many properties one person can own, longer/more secure tenancies... just a few ideas

adaline · 09/07/2019 20:56

Yes I’d actually love a system where all housing is social housing and fees for upkeep are paid as tax.

How would that ever even be possible, though? Who was going to pay tax? Who would pay for the building and upkeep of all these houses? The wages of all the workmen?

It's a nice idea but it's a fantasy.

NinjaInFluffyPJs · 09/07/2019 21:42

@dodgeballchamp you are talking about social housing on a thread about buying. 2 COMPLETELY different things.
And I agree with @adaline. Who would pay for it?

Either way though. Wanting or getting something for nothing is not a way forward nor it is ok. Unless you genuinely can't like if you are ill or a carer (if carers can't be provided).

OrdinarySnowflake · 09/07/2019 21:52

Dodgeball the housing "ladder" wasn't jsut about profit, it was about moving up size-wise as well - I can see you saying if you ever bought, you'd live there forever, but that does rather presume that your first and only property would be a family home. Many people in cheaper parts of the country who buy younger, start with flats/small houses then move to the family sized house later. (The 'profit' not just being the hosue having gone up in value, but having paid down some of the debt so able to afford a larger deposit for teh bigger house and higher wages a few years on to be able to borrow more).

It is a very SE focussed idea that you'd be in your 30s and having saved for all of your 20s to get a house, and I say that as a SE dweller. Many in the north don't have the same struggle.

NinjaInFluffyPJs · 09/07/2019 21:59

the housing "ladder" wasn't jsut about profit, it was about moving up size-wise as well - I can see you saying if you ever bought, you'd live there forever, but that does rather presume that your first and only property would be a family home. Many people in cheaper parts of the country who buy younger, start with flats/small houses then move to the family sized house later. (The 'profit' not just being the hosue having gone up in value, but having paid down some of the debt so able to afford a larger deposit for teh bigger house and higher wages a few years on to be able to borrow more).

Exactly! You climb. From step 1 like a studio or 1 bed to bigger and bigger.
That's also problem why many people say they can't afford to get on the ladder. They want xx bed now just in case or forever xxx bed. It's not easy to jump from ground to a high step.

contentedsoul · 09/07/2019 22:10

Thing is tho', what's the alternative...
It's neigh on impossible to get a council house, with the added security that comes with it, otherwise it's either get a huge mortgage or god forbid be forced into renting where you are in essence paying some other sods mortgage off...No Ta.

I'd rather chew my own fucking arm off than pay another persons mortgage off...… F U C K T H A T !!!!

NinjaInFluffyPJs · 09/07/2019 22:37

I don't fully get this hate towards landlords. But I do get why people want secured tenancies. I moved 8 times in 8 years🤷 unlike my sibling on mainland ...
However, with long term tenancies which would benefit the tenants, there should be some benefit to the landlord. Like for example a faster eviction process in case of no payments and clear rent increase rules and rates.

My sibling always wondered why I refused to do any work on properties I lived in until I asked him how long is his contract and told him how long was mine for. But then again. Many people want the short term contract for the same reason they don't want to buy.

NinjaInFluffyPJs · 09/07/2019 22:37

However, we are now moving away from buying into totally different topic

dodgeballchamp · 09/07/2019 23:54

Ninja it could, if planned properly be paid for through tax but I agree in practice it wouldn’t work with the housing stock currently on offer. Well I guess I have the advantage of not having or planning to have children so if my first purchased home was a flat it would do the job for life. Renting is necessary and useful - I certainly wouldn’t have wanted to buy in my early 20s as I wanted the freedom to try a few different places to live - but it needs to be better regulated and controlled