Am I in the wrong here or not? I don't think i am

[trytrytry]

I had a laparoscopy on Friday afternoon and since then I've been in pain,struggling to stand up straight where the cuts are and felt so tired/weak like I have flu.
The hospital said it's normal to feel like this.
I've came to my dads to stay as I live alone and didn't want to be alone.
I'm a full time carer for a grandparent and for the last two days have left that to other family members (as I literally can't stand up)
Today I got up (can stand a little better ) but still feel awful and tired.
My dad straight away rolled his eyes and said
"Just get your clothes on and get some fresh air"
I said I really can't,I don't feel great.
He said "how long you gonna play on this for? When I had a cold the other week I made a effort to go out"
I need a bit more rest(the hospital said at least 72 hours rest)
Believe me if I could go out,I wouldn't choose this.
I slept for 12 hours last night.
It's not even 48 hours since I've had it done.
Aibu to just want to take it easy.
It might be selfish but I've said I won't be looking after anyone till I'm better..if you don't like it tough.
I've came back to bed with a cuppa and Netflix
Am I being selfish here?
Do I try and get dressed and go out?

Ugh, was your Dad's your only option? He sounds useless. I (or my mum, wow she'd love this) would be bringing you that cuppa and propping up your pillows! Protect your recovery time; you need it and he's being ignorant.

Follow medical advice.

@bearsbeetsbattlestargallactica unfortunately yes.
He never has sympathy but the hospital wouldn't discharge me without someone to be there.
I can't wait till I feel ok and can just leave.

Try and find something online that says you will need to rest for however long and show him.
How horrible for you.

Luckily for me it was only a diagnostic laparoscopy so they didn't have to do any work so it should only be a week thankfully.
It's awful when you have to reply on people.
I hate it.

I don't think you're being selfish at all. Your body needs rest, listen to it and do as the hospital have advised.

I had a laparoscopy about 5 years ago and after the initial 12 hours after surgery I felt ok-ish. On day 2 I suddenly felt like I'd got flu; aching, exhaustion and fever. I went in to see my GP and was rushed in to our local A&E with a suspected bowel injury; it turned out that my bowel had been nicked when they'd made the first incision and was slowly but surely poisoning me. I made a full recovery and have no lasting problems from it, but if that 'flu' feeling continues please seek some medical advice just be sure.

YANBU. He's being cold and unfair. Follow medical advice. Could you stay with a friend instead?

It can take up to 3 days to fully recover from the anaesthetic alone. Are you keeping yourself topped up with your painkillers so you're covered at all times? Generally it is good to get up and about and keep moving, but at the same time it's really important to listen to your body and get plenty of rest.

Him comparing a cold to surgery shows his ignorance.

@FudgeBrownie2019 oh god that's awful
So pleased you made a full recovery.
It's scary isn't it
I don't actually feel as fluey today just tired and sleepy.
I'm hoping the worst is over.
I'm gonna call my GP in the morning tho just to check as the discharge from hospital told me zero

You are not in the wrong. Your dad is being very unsympathetic.

I hope you recover soon.

I wouldn't ask a friend tbh as they have families and I wouldn't want to ruin their routine.
I keep getting up and having a few mins walking round the house,I haven't needed any painkillers since last night but I'm going to take some anyway.

You know how you feel. Ignore your dad. Don't be pressurised into resuming your caring until you feel you can.

No you are not! Your father is acting like a jackass. I would never speak to my patients like that! Insensitive and ignorant! Everyone is different. Take care.

Are you the poster who cares for your grandmother?

Why doesnt your Dad "just get HIS clothes on and get some fresh air , and get himself over to your Grandparent's , where he can take on the carer role, full time.

Yeah it's me.
Didn't want to de rail and start complaining
My dad isn't my grandparents relative ...it's my mums side unfortunately.
My dad will help me for one more day thankfully

He never has sympathy but the hospital wouldn't discharge me without someone to be there.

That's why I lied when I had mine. I hope you manage to get home soon OP but don't do what I did.

Hopefully il feel a bit better soon
Thankyou

Hope you are feel a little better. Staying with your Dad is not great as your Dad lacks compassion. Take care of yourself

Well according to my dad today I've got a little cut in my stomach that's healing and there's no reason for me to be feeling like this.
God I want to punch him

And you are cut inside, and bruised. Can you get some arnica tablets to help healing and pain?

I'm currently sat in my GP surgery
Going to ask the doctor what she suggests

Reminds me of my mum when I had my c sections
With my second she had agreed to take my dd to school for the 6 weeks (I don’t drive) but decided at 3 weeks pp that the next day I had to resume it......
Woke up the next day ..... SNOW and she said she didn’t care I had ds In buggy and dd on buggyboard (mobility issue) and my scar opened up

With my most recent dc I had to be alone when he was 4 days old as she refused to help me and she had to take other dc to hospital
I arranged a lift for dc for school as couldn’t trust her this time and she took the person aside and said I was lying about the 6 week recovery and she didn’t see any reason why I couldn’t do the school run

Poor you. Absolutely disgusting that you are expected to be a carer yet your relatives are objecting to caring for you. Slightly off topic but I also feel strongly that grandchildren shouldn't be carers for their grandparents. That's the job of their children.

Put yourself first op. You're only young once.

I hope you feel better soon.

Dh has to take other dc to hospital not she