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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to go to Australia for the weekend?!

920 replies

HufflepuffHarpy · 07/07/2019 07:16

My best friend (male if relevant) is getting married in the autumn. I'm in the UK (where we both grew up) he now lives in Australia.

I desperately want to go to the wedding.

It will cost £1000 for the flight plus accomodation etc over there which is in no way small money.

I have 4DC so would be asking my parents (very hands on babysitters, have had them for me and DH to go on holiday etc) to have the DC (all under 10) while DH is at work.

I would leave on a thursday AM flight and get back tuesday pm. SO literally fly in for the wedding, the day after and then back home.

Am I being totally crazy to consider this?! (Haven't actually asked DH yet!!)

OP posts:
lotusbell · 07/07/2019 08:30

Not hungover, well, maybe hungover! I meant jetlagged!

onemorecupofcoffeefortheroad · 07/07/2019 08:30

I'd do it. I've flown to Oz numerous times as my partner is Australian and so don't think of it as that much of a big deal. Once flew there for a few days in similar circumstances to yours.

So much of whether it's 'doable' or not is about attitude and whether you like a bit of an adventure. I love an adventure and sounds like you do too so I'm sure you'll be fine.

Go for it - you'll get over the tiredness, the cost will be forgotten about in a few months - but the memories will last for ever.

Original poster
HufflepuffHarpy · 07/07/2019 08:31

curly yes I have met the bride on their last visit, she is lovely and perfect for him. I am not going to try and break up their wedding! i am happily married thanks!

littlekitty a few days away from my DC is not a con for me, its a pro!! I love them dearly but quite relaxed about leaving them for a few days/a week with their dad and grandparents.

He has lived in Aus for 5/6 years now, we chat on the phone probably once a month, regular messanger chats. he comes over every 18months or so and my family are always top of the list for him (after his parents of course) and i'm good friends with his parents who live locally to me. we are not drifting apart at all.

OP posts:
Muddlingalongalone · 07/07/2019 08:31

Do it! Once in a lifetime thing & you'll cope with the jet lag because you have to!
Put children in breakfast/after school club if possible to ease the pressure on your parents, can DH build up any flexi/Lieu time in the meantime? Get prepared in advance and go enjoy guilt free.

rookiemere · 07/07/2019 08:32

Ok so in terms of the practicalities. We went to NZ at Easter - I flew alone going out so I could spend some time with relatives. I don't sleep on planes and was dreading the trip, but actually had an ace time - as a middle aged woman I'm so easily pleased by free food and movies. Didn't drink at all.

I was tired on the day I arrived, but managed to stay up until about 9 and took a sleeping tablet ( Boots over the counter are great) and the next day I was more or less adjusted. Same on the way back - taking sleeping tablets for the first few nights on either side really helps with the jet lag.

I went with Qatar airlines and they were really good - loads of room in economy and you can choose your seat for free.

I think you should go, but do make sure you arrive the day before the wedding to give your body a chance to recover.

trixiebelden77 · 07/07/2019 08:33

I do this journey regularly and don’t have issues with jet lag.

Also do it for very short periods sometimes - this is what people who live on the other side of the world do when family stuff happens.

A friend of mine flew to the uk and back for a single football match.

Just be mindful of where the wedding is - if it’s in WA and you fly into Sydney/Melb/Brisbane etc you’ve still got a fair way to go.

I also usually book on one of the big Asian carriers set up for long haul. Cathay, Singapore etc. My least comfortable flights have been on European airlines.

Original poster
HufflepuffHarpy · 07/07/2019 08:33

why is DH having an extra long lie in when i need to talk to him?!?! (Lighthearted, its his lie in day and i have no issue with him sleeping as long as he wants!)

OP posts:
BagpussAteMyHomework · 07/07/2019 08:34

I appreciate that this isn’t helpful to you but the environmental cost would trouble me and I wouldn’t do it. Not for such a short visit.

SprogletsMum · 07/07/2019 08:34

As a mum of 4 I reckon jet lag wouldn't even be a factor. I quite regularly have weeks where I get 3 or less hours sleep a night and life just carries on its pretty normal for me. So if your DC are nightmare sleepers like mine, you'll probably be less tired on a child free trip than you would have been at home.

fraxion · 07/07/2019 08:34

You would usually have a burst of cortisol in the morning after waking which then declines during the day. You can mimic this with a low dose of prednisone (10mg or so) the morning after you arrive in Aus.

And where exactly do you get prescribed steroids, you certainly can't buy prednisone over the counter. Nor is it the recommended use. No way would a GP prescribe it for jet lag.

OP if you can afford it but not at the expense of anything else then go for it. I would rather spend that on holidaying with my family.

WineOrGin · 07/07/2019 08:35

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

OliviaBenson · 07/07/2019 08:35

i wouldn't want to make it longer and make it more 'holliday' as that wouldn't sit right with me. I can possibly put an extra day to account for delays/jet lag a bit. i can only really justify even contemplating this if it is literally just for the wedding. i would never feel right holidaying without DH and the kids like that. especially when i know things will be hectic for DH at home!!

Don't be a martyr op. You should stretch it out if you can for your sake. I'm sure family at home can cope with 2 extra days.

Original poster
HufflepuffHarpy · 07/07/2019 08:36

i am looking at flights that go london-singapore-sydney-gold coast at the moment. singapore airlines would be my preference as we flew to NZ with them and it was awesome!

OP posts:
Original poster
HufflepuffHarpy · 07/07/2019 08:37

olivia its not being a martyr, its about considering the effect of my jolly on all other people concerned.

OP posts:
INeedNewShoes · 07/07/2019 08:38

I did similar for my brother's wedding. No way would I have missed it but because it was in the middle of my final year exams for my degree I couldn't make it a longer trip.

Something along the lines of arrived at 6am one day, attended the wedding the next day, had the day after the wedding in Oz then flew back the next day.

That last day in Oz was a bit pointless. I couldn't fully enjoy it as by then the tiredness had hit and I had the prospect of the long journey back and then uni work awaiting. In hindsight I should have just flown straight back after the wedding.

I'm absolutely glad I did it but I was in a little bit of a daze for it all.

I'd do it again for my best friend's wedding!

HicDraconis · 07/07/2019 08:38

I get prescribed steroids from my GP, for precisely this purpose!

Flute56 · 07/07/2019 08:40

I went to California in February to stay with a cousin. I just wanted to say that on the way home I ran into problems. I got to the airport in plenty of time and checked in etc but there were problems. Flight was delayed due to weather conditions (wind). We were stuck at the airport for hours and I had a connecting flight. By the time we were given the go ahead to fly I had missed my connecting flight. I had two options. Option 1 was to be put up in a hotel at my expense and fly home the next morning or go all around the houses and get another flight and then connect to a third flight to London which I did so Instead of San Jose to Los Angeles and Los Angeles to London I ended up doing San Jose to Los Angeles, Los Angeles to New York and New York to London. It literally took HOURS and because I checked my luggage in in San Jose and was told it would automatically follow me on right to London, because I had to then fly to New York they told me oh do not worry we will make sure your luggage goes with you, but it did not. The lady at the desk failed to make sure it followed me to New York so by the time I reached London the luggage was still stuck in San Jose and arrived two days later. This could easily happen to your trip to Australia and you may have a longer trip either going or returning.

LazyDaisey · 07/07/2019 08:40

Why can’t you hire a babysitter to help your parents with 4 children? It would be like an extra adult helping them instead of a stranger solely taking care of all four. That way your parents don’t have the stress and pressure of looking after all 4 and could possibly look after them a few days more?

DobbyTheHouseElk · 07/07/2019 08:41

No, I wouldn’t.

I flew out to oz from my brothers wedding, spent 10 days there. People thought we were mad only spending 10 days there. The jet lag was a killer. We tried to power through but became disoriented and fell asleep unintentionally. For a day visit, no chance.

You might fall asleep at the wedding or miss it entirely. When you come back you won’t be able to look after the DC in a jet lag state.

BIWI · 07/07/2019 08:42

Goodness some PP are responding as if you're talking about flying to the moon! A bit of jet lag won't stress you out so it makes you ill for goodness sake!

I'd say for an event like this that you absolutely should do it, but I'd definitely add in an extra day so you arrive in time, don't have to worry about any delays, and have some time to rest/sleep a bit more after the flight.

If you've flown to Oz/NZ before, then you're psychologically prepared for the flight, as well as having a good understanding of the practicalities, so that's fine.

You say you're going to the Gold Coast, so don't know where you'd be flying into (Brisbane?) but if I were you I'd try to get a morning flight leaving the UK (Singapore Airlines do this from London) which means, after a short touchdown at Singapore, you arrive into Sydney around 8pm. Then you only have to keep going for a couple of hours or so before you can go to bed at 'normal' time.

I'm very envious!

BIWI · 07/07/2019 08:43

Oh, and the other thing I'd say is to treat the flights themselves as part of your break! 24 hours all on your own, watching whatever films/TV you want, or reading your book - no-one to have to cook for, and people to bring you food and drinks. What's not to like?! Grin

eddielizzard · 07/07/2019 08:44

I would do it. You won't regret making the effort, you might regret not having gone.

LittleKitty1985 · 07/07/2019 08:46

You sound like your mind is made up OP - follow all of the good advice on here and have a great time!

Original poster
HufflepuffHarpy · 07/07/2019 08:46

BIWI thats the flight i have up in front of me right now. and yes, the flight would be part of the break for me - trashy movies and books!

OP posts:
thedevondumpling · 07/07/2019 08:47

I think with 4 kid, I've got 4 but mine are adults now, travelling alone seems dead easy. Also with 4 kids you learn to function without much sleep so I think you will be fine, you obviously really want to go so why not.