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AIBU?

to go to Australia for the weekend?!

920 replies

HufflepuffHarpy · 07/07/2019 07:16

My best friend (male if relevant) is getting married in the autumn. I'm in the UK (where we both grew up) he now lives in Australia.

I desperately want to go to the wedding.

It will cost £1000 for the flight plus accomodation etc over there which is in no way small money.

I have 4DC so would be asking my parents (very hands on babysitters, have had them for me and DH to go on holiday etc) to have the DC (all under 10) while DH is at work.

I would leave on a thursday AM flight and get back tuesday pm. SO literally fly in for the wedding, the day after and then back home.

Am I being totally crazy to consider this?! (Haven't actually asked DH yet!!)

OP posts:

Report

NoodlingAlong · 07/07/2019 08:08

I have done it for a conference - the same length of time. I drank a lot of water and no alcohol on the plane. For me it was a bit of a luxury to be able to switch off my phone, not have to answer emails and binge watch films for 24 hours. The jet lag was, um, challenging - in Australia, not on the return. I paid 700 for the flights - a few years ago now though.

Tatiannatomasina · 07/07/2019 08:09

My husband flew to Australia for four days to attend a 3 day interview process. He was shattered when he got back and had to go stright back to work, but it was all worth it, he got the job and we now live in Oz. I say go for it 😁

regmover · 07/07/2019 08:10

I would at least add a day so you can rest a bit when you get there. I've been to Australia 6 times, travelling at various times of the day. Personally, I can't sleep well, hardly at all, on planes. Melatonin... whatever... they don't work for me (or for many other people). I always try to hit the ground running as much as possible, but it catches up on me within about 10 hours and is really tiring.
If you have a reasonable stop in Singapore, say 5 hours, you can book into the airport hotel and get a little bit of sleep, which might help. But I would want to be sure that I was going to be reasonably bright and breezy to enjoy the wedding, so I would add in at least an extra day before, to be a bit safer about it.

itsallafiddle · 07/07/2019 08:11

It all comes down to your ability to cope with the travel. My dd could do it, as she can sleep anywhere and would sleep the entire journey, but I would struggle. Go for it if you think you can manage!

stucknoue · 07/07/2019 08:12

I would suggest speaking to your parents and see if you can stretch the trip to 10 days, leaving the weekend before perhaps? It's a special reason but it's really too far

CharlieandLolaCat · 07/07/2019 08:13

Just do it.

El0die · 07/07/2019 08:15

Do it. Do it. Do it.
Yes it is crazy..., but crazy good. If it would give you and your friend a huge amount of pleasure then do it!
(Having said that, I've never flown long haul myself. I've no idea what you'd feel like when you got home and how long it would take to recover.)

Smidge001 · 07/07/2019 08:15

I've done it for 4 nights, and was fine. The flights I take always leave in the pm and land in the morning (in both directions) and I just force myself to stay awake all day when I land, then by the time I go to bed (I can usually make it to 9pm) I'm so tired I sleep through.
I'm not sure if the flight times you've chosen would be as good for getting over jet lag, but you only need to feel wide awake on the day of the wedding and as you say, you'll have adrenalin to keep you going.
I'd definitely do it.

Cannyhandleit · 07/07/2019 08:15

It sound utterly mental but I would probably do it! I'm usually not that effected by jet lag when I get there it effects me worse when I come back to the UK! One of my best friends lives in Sydney and got married a few years I would have been absolutely gutted to have missed it and would 100% done this if it was the only option!

Ginger1982 · 07/07/2019 08:16

For somewhere so far away that I likely would only get to visit once, I would rather wait until I could afford to go for a good chunk of time and take the family. Surely a good family holiday in a few years where you could spend some quality time with your friend and sightsee would be better? The jet lag for a few days would kill me!

Nagsnovalballs · 07/07/2019 08:16

My partner is Australian and when we got married, one of his cousins came for 48hrs due to work commitments.
It’s doable. However, is there no way you can stretch it to 4/5 days?! Give your mum some money?? Why isn’t your dh able to do more??

HufflepuffHarpy · 07/07/2019 08:16

i wouldn't want to make it longer and make it more 'holliday' as that wouldn't sit right with me. I can possibly put an extra day to account for delays/jet lag a bit. i can only really justify even contemplating this if it is literally just for the wedding. i would never feel right holidaying without DH and the kids like that. especially when i know things will be hectic for DH at home!!

OP posts:

LizzieSiddal · 07/07/2019 08:17

I doubt you’ll suffer from jet lag as your body won’t have time to adjust to Australian time. It will just think you’ve had a few late nights.

I’d say go for it!

Butterymuffin · 07/07/2019 08:17

I wouldn't do it purely because it's not long enough

This. Don't keep it to a weekend. Speak to your parents or price up what a short term nanny would cost for some/all of the time, and go for a week at least or preferably 10 days.

Aus84 · 07/07/2019 08:19

Crazy. Could you ask your DH to take some time off work so you can go a bit longer? If not, I would skip the wedding and save for a longer holiday with your DH and children to visit your friend at a later date.

Hanab · 07/07/2019 08:19

If your DH is okay with you ‘borrowing’ the money & your parents are onboard with childcare Lady GO FOR IT!

HufflepuffHarpy · 07/07/2019 08:20

we are planning a 6 week sabbatical in OZ in 6/7 years time so this is not instead of a family holiday over there. this is purely for me to see my best5 friend get married.

nags I explained already, DH has no leave left so has to work and there is no way we can afford paid for childcare. DH does everything he can around work but it would be down to my parents for afterschool care and school runs.

OP posts:

Aus84 · 07/07/2019 08:22

Sorry OP, accidentally skipped a page of replies and missed the fact that your DH has no leave left.

HufflepuffHarpy · 07/07/2019 08:23

wedding date only announced a month ago so we couldn't plan for it with regards to DH leave etc.

OP posts:

CurlyWurlyTwirly · 07/07/2019 08:25

How much Time you actually get to spend with your friend?
Ask him to do Skype link. You’ll see him getting married
Have you even met the bride?
I think you’re insane. It’s like «My best friend’s wedding»

HoldMeCloserTonyDanza · 07/07/2019 08:25

We’re doing very similar this summer (12 hr flight and 8 hr difference) and DH is doing it twice - he’s also going the month before for the stag!

The friend is enormously important to us.

We’ve both done the journey frequently for business meetings so doing it for fun seems like a no-brainer

LittleKitty1985 · 07/07/2019 08:26

You've just got to do the cost-benefit analysis.

Benefits:
See your best friend get married
Have a good story to tell in the future

Costs:
£1000 flight + accommodation and other expenses (how much in total???)
Several days away from your children
Jet lag may make your feel shit
Stress to your body may lead to illness

It wouldn't be worth it for me personally.

Also, how long has he lived in Australia? When people move that far away I think they can't really be considered current best friends anymore - you'll barely see him and you'll drift further apart every year. Isn't it possible that in a few more years you'll regret it and think "why did I spend ££££ going to that wedding when I haven't even seen him since and I need that money now for my DC?"

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Flute56 · 07/07/2019 08:28

I have been to Australia. I went in 2011 and spent 3 and a half weeks in Sydney staying with relatives. I do not sleep on planes so was jet lagged when I got there. The journey took 23 hours and that was London to Hong Kong and Hong Kong to Sydney. It was fine from London to Hong Kong but on the second leg of the journey from Hong Kong I had a guy from Hong Kong travelling to Sydney sitting next to me and he fell asleep and snored most of the way. Anyway I would not go all that way for just a few days... Not worth it

SnowsInWater · 07/07/2019 08:28

I'd say go for it, my only concern is the fact that if the wedding is on the Gold Coast you are gong to have to get a domestic flight to Coolangatta after your long haul flight. You are unlikely to be able to ticket straight through which means you can't leave the transfer too tight in case of delays. The time difference also works against you as you will lose a minimum of nine hours when you arrive. Just logistics to sort out though, people do it all the time when they have to so come and enjoy 😊

lotusbell · 07/07/2019 08:29

Go for it, it's once in a lifetime! Yes you'll be hungover and you'll have to plan a few lazy days at home with the kids to recharge once you get back but what fantastic memories. It'll be worth it when you look back

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