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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

to go to Australia for the weekend?!

920 replies

HufflepuffHarpy · 07/07/2019 07:16

My best friend (male if relevant) is getting married in the autumn. I'm in the UK (where we both grew up) he now lives in Australia.

I desperately want to go to the wedding.

It will cost £1000 for the flight plus accomodation etc over there which is in no way small money.

I have 4DC so would be asking my parents (very hands on babysitters, have had them for me and DH to go on holiday etc) to have the DC (all under 10) while DH is at work.

I would leave on a thursday AM flight and get back tuesday pm. SO literally fly in for the wedding, the day after and then back home.

Am I being totally crazy to consider this?! (Haven't actually asked DH yet!!)

OP posts:
SoyDora · 09/07/2019 08:59

Haven't RTFT, but surprised extinction rebellion haven't infiltrated yet and pointed out how damaging flights are to the planet. Hope you plant some more trees on you return

Then maybe you should have RTFT. Of course is has been mentioned.

Notcopingwellhere · 09/07/2019 08:59

Lots of hands in the air squee so excited for you though

And there you go @MarshaBradyo. You just can’t help yourself. Snidey comments are not the way to win people round to your way of thinking.

@Feelingquitewarm people will look back at the decisions they made with much regret.

I doubt very much that OP is dramatic enough to believe that her one flight made the difference between the planet living or dying. It’s long term patterns of behaviour that make the difference- company business travel policies, single use plastic, meat-eating. Not isolated individual trips.

usernamealreadytaken · 09/07/2019 08:59

@BIWI with all due respect, I got to page 6 before I saw anyone even mention the environmental impact; most posters were only concerned with jet lag and excitement. I did fully state that I hadn't RTFT, not arrogant just lazy and poorly worded, perhaps.

aingil · 09/07/2019 09:00

Just saw this. Once, many, many years ago I did a trip to Sydney which was basically fly over, there for 3 days (I think), back to UK. It nearly killed me.

I did it for work and didn't add on holiday at the end of the trip (as I would ideally have liked to do) as I was due to go on annual holiday to Mexico with my OH on my return.

Highlights of the trip were a small child crying incessantly all the way from London to Singapore - 12 hours I think - nothing to be done, just had to suck it up but that started me off with an immediate sleep deficit.

Worked for 2 days while I was in Oz, on 3rd day wanted to die but compelled to attend a bbq held by one of the senior partners - almost vomiting with tiredness.

On flight back, saw a family with 2 small children get on at Sydney - all dressed in identical white cargo pants, white t-shirt's and birkenstock's. I spoke quietly to the attendant to explain what had happened on the flight on the way over and to beg to be moved if these children made noise as i was totally losing it mentally by then. She looked shocked to see me as it turned out she'd worked on the flight on the way out. She'd never seen a passenger return from Sydney after such a short trip. She'd been on a beach in the interim as crew need to have a break before they can do the return flight - so she looked great - and mentally sound. 😳

She agreed if the kids played up she'd see what she could do but so far they seemed really well behaved - so we agreed to see how things went.

As it turned out the kids were incredibly well-behaved, no problems at all and the Dad seemed very nice, very pleased with their seats and chatting nicely to various attendants including mine. Just a nice guy.

Then suddenly the attendant came over, hissed at me "do you realise who that is??!!!"

I didn't.

It was Jason Donovan. 🤣

When I got back to London I crashed completely from tiredness, had to cancel my holiday to Mexico. I've never made it there.

However I have slept with Jason Donovan. In a sense.

As to your question, no matter how much you love your friend, think carefully about a trip like this. You may be able to afford the cost but just beware of the impact mentally and physically. Send him a lovely message or even better skype/facetime into the reception at the bit where they used to read out the telegrams - pretty easy to arrange, and memorable - and then have a lovely special meal/celebration with him and his new wife the next time you see them in person.

MarshaBradyo · 09/07/2019 09:01

NotCoping and how are you being measured?

MarshaBradyo · 09/07/2019 09:02

Higher octaves are most certainly coming from the YOLO crowd

aingil · 09/07/2019 09:03

oh and this was nearly 20 years ago - just saw someone message about environmental impact, very good point. Another good reason not to do this trip - hopefully the business I worked for then would have more sense now.

SushiForAmateurs · 09/07/2019 09:10

@aingil the OP is all booked and is going.

aingil · 09/07/2019 09:17

ah well!

SushiForAmateurs · 09/07/2019 09:21

Did you not think that over 600 posts into the thread, the situation might not have moved on...?

I'm slightly incredulous at the people who click onto a mammoth thread like this, and only respond to the original post. What is going through their heads?!

aingil · 09/07/2019 09:24

we can always rely on someone like you with plenty of time on their hands to put us back on the straight and narrow 😆

SoyDora · 09/07/2019 09:28

aingil in the time it took you to write your essay you could have written at least the OP’s posts!

BIWI · 09/07/2019 09:30

@aingil you went for work! There's a massive difference

aingil · 09/07/2019 09:31

Anyone can respond to the original post if they like, it's up to the OP whether they bother to read it, or whether by then they are done with it and the reason for their original post. It isn't necessary to respond to each and every intervening post, whether you people like it or not. You are free to skip over anything too if you feel it's taking up too much of your valuable time.

Another way to save you time would be not to stink your beak in where it isn't needed.

Cheers my dears - I now have a life to return to!

SushiForAmateurs · 09/07/2019 09:31

And we can always rely on someone like you to blatantly ignore the fact that the thread is beyond long, and write an essay to share your 'amazing' thoughts!!

manicmij · 09/07/2019 09:31

Never done the trip to Oz but have done to Asia, South America that have taken forever. For your trip, I would go. Small intimate wedding, you will have a lot of contact. To heck with jet lag, you may never feel the effects. Has the couple actually invited you? Just a thought as you haven't mentioned this.

SoyDora · 09/07/2019 09:32
Grin
SoyDora · 09/07/2019 09:33

I think aingil just wanted to share her amazing Jason Donavon story.

Catwaving · 09/07/2019 09:48

I'm a bit confused about all of this.....

Aside from the Massive environmental thing which only a few of us have raised, the OP wasn't even invited to this wedding!!!

It's clear that she called the groom and bride to check it would be okay to come (check her posts)

HOWEVER, there is ANOTHER friend of the groom who was always coming, and he is coming from England too. If OP and the groom were such great, great mates:

She would know this other friend who lives in England too, almost unavoidable when you're best friends with someone for 25 years (she doesn't that much is clear)

She would have been actually invited in the first place (like other English friend was)

Is there a bit of competitive friending going on here?
OP? Are you sure of your motivations?

Feelingquitewarm · 09/07/2019 09:58

You weren’t even invited OP?

Feelingquitewarm · 09/07/2019 10:00

Notcopingwell... it is not about dramatics. That is a very ignorant viewpoint. We all need to do what we can as individuals. Then the collective effort might make a difference. Or we all do nothing and continue to contribute to our own demise. It’s about individual responsibility too.

Feelingquitewarm · 09/07/2019 10:05

Also, the planet won’t die. It will eventually recover once human populations have diminished/ become extinct due to the effects of climate change. It is us who will suffer. And our children. Not the planet. It is our responsibility to look after the planet for our own sakes and our own future.

MsTSwift · 09/07/2019 10:20

Omg if not invited is the op not a massive planet wrecking stalker?!

Notcopingwellhere · 09/07/2019 10:29

@Feelingquitewarm...

it is not about dramatics. That is a very ignorant viewpoint. We all need to do what we can as individuals. Then the collective effort might make a difference. Or we all do nothing and continue to contribute to our own demise. It’s about individual responsibility too.

I was responding to your specific statement that the OP will look back and regret the decisions she made. My point is that I don’t believe that she will regret this one specific decision because it is a tiny speck in the overall picture and I am sure that she has a sense of perspective. She has already said that she trains her European holidays and reuses/recycles etc. Therefore while I think it is perfectly possible that all of us, including OP may look back and regret our more generalised, longer term behaviours, I wholeheartedly disagree that OP will ever look back and regret this one specific trip.

INeedNewShoes · 09/07/2019 10:31

Aside from the Massive environmental thing which only a few of us have raised, the OP wasn't even invited to this wedding!!!

Erm, I thought she said very clearly in a post that she was invited.

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