Is teaching really so stressful?

[summertime06]

Really trying to get my head around this without getting flamed. I have a good friend who is a teacher, part time since having kids, doing the same hours as me (I'm not a teacher), 3 days a week.

For the past year or two, all I ever heard when we met up was how stressful her job was, how difficult it was to be a teacher and a mum at the same time etc etc. I get that there's work to be done outside teaching hours, but I do the same in my completely different job and just get on with it, I think it's part of the job when you get up the pay scale/responsibility level a bit. Any time I did mention that things were similar in my job, I was put down, I couldn't possibly understand how stressful it was to be a teacher?!

And now she's made the decision to take a career break for a few years because there's just no way she can continue to be a teacher and a mum to 3 young kids. That's fine if that's what she wants to do but she's making out that she's been left with no choice but to make this decision because teaching is just so difficult. Is it just me or am I missing something? I get that it can be stressful as are lots of other jobs, but there are surely also lots of advantages? Not having to sort out summer camps and childcare during school holidays? Is it really so much more difficult and stressful compared to other jobs? I genuinely want to understand!

Just bought soap for the classroom so the children can wash their hands before lunch.
Just bought knickers and pants to replace the ones that get given to children who have an accident but are not washed and returned by parents.
Just replaced 5 books that are ‘lost’ by children at home but Head won’t ask parents to replace for fear of generating a complaint.
Schools are funded per child so if we lose a child to another school, our budget suffers.

ThePurpleHeffalump

I agree that constantly complaining to a friend can be draining for the friend, but if we don’t have friends so we can share the bad times as well as the good, why have them?

Aw82
In the English state sector?
Then you should know better than making goady remarks given the state of the sector.

I'm in a lovely school that values staff and I have a reasonable work life balance. I've also worked places that are far from that. I've also heard friends in different phases and schools share their experience.

As a result, I wouldn't dream of making the sort of stupid generalisation you've made.
What a nice way to throw the profession under the bus at a time when the pressures are well publicised and the retention crisis is affecting students.

I have some friends who are teachers and they are obsessed with complaining about their jobs. I know the names of all the other teachers and even some of the pupils.

I have a very stressful job, but that’s my choice. I rarely complain to my friends - other people jobs are boring.

I do think teaching is a tough gig, but for some reason the teachers I know don’t understand that people work long hours in other jobs, and also have high levels of stress. I give presentations to large audiences, and give evidence in court. But my friends dismiss this as easy - I would never dismiss their job as easy.

My friends have never left the educational setting - so perhaps don’t understand what other professions are like.

I used to be a teacher and changed careers. My current career is far more stressful but , then again, I didn't teach in this country.

My friends have never left the educational setting - so perhaps don’t understand what other professions are like.

And yet it’s funny how you seem to think you know what teaching is like...

I’ve lasted a long time as a secondary teacher.. My simple observation is that teaching like parenting is an area of national expertise ..... everyone has experienced it so everyone has a well informed opinion. 😉. Schools can be very different.... parenting marriages relationships very different.... put the two together and what for one is a manageable situation that they can or must tolerate may be completely different for others. Like most career choices it’s not for everyone, but for some it can be a fantastic career , So if your friend is finding it stressful maybe she is, just like if your friend is finding aspects of married life stressful maybe that’s true too . Off now to get ready to enjoy my long summer holiday... .... for anyone interested there are amazing bursary opportunities for shortage subjects in science teaching.... hours are good holidays fantastic but for some reason can’t fill the vaccines.

In my experience, teachers only tend to point out how difficult the job can be when goady fuckers people try to suggest they have a cushy number, finishing at 3.30 and having long holidays.

In my experience, teachers only tend to point out how difficult the job can be when goady fuckers people try to suggest they have a cushy number, finishing at 3.30 and having long holidays.

This ^

It's emotionally and physically draining. I feel like I'm on permanent show (although I'm a specialist in a performing arts subject with primary age children so that intensifies this). Having said that, I love it and it's only a few times a year that I take work home so for me I don't think it's so bad.

However, I am still in my early 30s and I still have the energy for this. There's not a cat in hells chance that I am doing this into my late 40s and beyond. I plan another 3ish years until my DC are a bit older then I'm planning a career change- already have the wheels in motion for this .

I also think that the teaching experience hugely varies from school to school, depending partly on the kids/catchment area (and the different ends of the scale bring different challenges) and partly on your Head Teacher and the SLT.
I have been teaching for 33 years now, and have loved every moment (mostly!) but that's entirely due to having been fortunate enough to have had decent colleagues, lovely kids and parents and no difficult home/health issues of my own.

Yes OP it is so strange! It's bizarre, most people I know take their work home with them but do not get a 6 hour shift with a 1 hour lunch and then 12 weeks off a year. It baffles me all the time!

The other day my teacher friend didn't text me back all week because she said she was exhausted she had a particularly manic week and had been working until 5 each day...I couldn't help but chuckle! When I pointed out that she worked a normal length of a working day she said "but I don't get paid to be there after the children go home". Yes, you get paid a salary to do the job in general and have some pretty amazing perks for it!

I always regret not going into teaching, the holidays and hours seem to outweigh the annoying kids who you get to send home at 15:20 everyday!

Those of us who aren't teachers only see the easy bits - like the long holidays, fairly good wages and the pension at the end.

If you have to face 30+ stroppy teenagers each day, the worst of whom don't want to learn and actively misbehave, then it must be pretty horrible and very draining if you're not feeling up to it.

BIL and SIL are teachers, they really earn their money but they moan a lot. Many of us find our work draining but we get a fraction of the time off. It's relentless - week in, week out, month, in month out with only four/five weeks off a year, so it's hard to feel sympathy for them.

BIL and SIL think that no-one else is under pressure like they are, that the rest of us just sail through our careers/life with no stress at all. Not true - we're all under pressure to perform, with targets to reach, people to please. Teachers are just more vociferous about it.

I also think that the teaching experience hugely varies from school to school, depending partly on the kids/catchment area (and the different ends of the scale bring different challenges) and partly on your Head Teacher and the SLT.

YY to this. My school was a high achieving academic school and I taught pretty top classes with highly motivated students. In fact, the students used to tell me to stop talking so they could work. So, my job was pretty breezy.

I taught years 7-Alevels and found year 7 was a breeze and I mostly had A level sciences BUT the years 9, 10 were a little more challenging.
That being said, even years later, I remember the kids and feel like I made a difference for a good number of them.

OP it's a different kind of stress to the one you are experiencing.

There are some total teacher martyrs out there who do not help the cause. They work all the (unnecessary) hours god sends and spend loads of their own money on stuff. I stopped buying stuff and the world hasn't ended. Instead the parents and students are more exposed to budget cuts and get angry at the government. I do still buy pens and rulers but that's about it. Sheets go unstuck in books and SLT get over it.

I work an average 55 hour week during term time. I have a toddler and currently pregnant. I have a small TLR in the department. This is manageable for me with good support at home and rock solid childcare. I do very little in the holidays and try to limit my weekend work to Sunday evening only.

I'm lucky to teach a shortage subject and probably get away with doing "less" than I would in a subject that had an over supply of staff.

My school isn't great in terms of workload and behaviour. However corners can be cut and no one dies. The more staff that become slightly rebellious and stop/limit the amount of extra stuff they do, the better the working environment for all. I think there is a sea change coming in terms of workload and teaching and learning strategies. All the bollocks about preparing different worksheets for different kids will go and we'll be left with a slightly more sensible system.

If you're in a school with crazy expectations and other staff who will work to live up to them, then teaching is a horrendously stressful job. Some days I come home and cry from the level of abuse given from students and parents. Other days I'm super pleased because I can see students learning things.

OP, I am not going to pile in on teacher defending. But, I want to note a few things. A recent survey of stressful jobs had teaching in the top 3. Pharmacists aren't on the list. Secondly, you are her friend ; she is experiencing stress and offloading which you should be kind about :it's obviously got to breaking point as she is leaving her job, which you seem to judge her for. She also knows you have a counselling background. This makes my mind boggle as your sceptical and mean spirited approach doesn't make you sound like counselling is a natural fit for you.

As a person in a paramedical role, you MUST know there are different kinds of stress. You are judging her because she is specifically leaving teaching it seems. If your friend did a different job , would you have posted for 'opinions'? What are you going to do with this research? Present her with a pie chart?

It's bizarre, most people I know take their work home with them but do not get a 6 hour shift with a 1 hour lunch and then 12 weeks off a year. It baffles me all the time!

Bullshit like this from people who don't do the job doesn't help.

I get 30 mins "lunch", usually spent tidying up one room, racing to another, occasionally having a wee and perhaps grabbing some photocopying. Whilst being interrupted by students "miss can you just get me xxxx".

It's not taking work home that's an issue. It's the sheer volume of stuff some schools expect from their staff.

Yes it is stressful. It's not the number of hours but the intensity of the day. I always have to prioritize other children over my own. Early start to the day makes things stressful when you have your own kids. Having school hols off is great but when your own kids are little it's dealing with the same crap at home as you do in school. Pay isn't dire but not great either. It's also the constant scrutiny - parents, SLT. You're never really left to just get on.
Probably the biggest gauge is how many people complain about how hard the 6 weeks hols are - and that is just dealing with their own kids. In small numbers.
Also see how many threads are posted on here about school/teachers. How hard it is to please parents. People moaning about having to get a teacher end of year gift and so on.
That said your friend should not be constantly complaining. Just get on or leave I would say.

I get people turning up to my clinics high on drugs, if there's no security around I call the police. I've had patients go to the toilet to do a urine sample and have taken a drug overdose and collapsed. I've had someone take a heart attack in front of me and have had to use a defibrillator

We've had drug fuelled intruders, a teen showing symptoms of a heart attack and on one occasion a parent's waters broke in Reception...

...just a day in the life of a school administrator! I have absolutely no clue how my teaching colleagues do it.

It's not just teaching lessons, it's the planning, the marking, the extra curricular stuff, the pastoral care, the dealing with parents. In the case of some kids it's dealing with multiple external agencies to ensure their mental & physical health, additional needs and safeguarding issues are taken care of.

And then it's having to record everything in minute detail because the powers that be require data and analysis about every single thing that goes on in a school. The risk assessments, consent forms, absence requests that need processing, the expectation that on top of everything else you'll be involved in fundraisers at the drop of a hat.

And yes, in theory you might get 13 weeks holiday a year, but in reality a substantial amount of that time will still be working to varying degrees, and when you're not you have to fit in all the millions of things you can't do during in term time because you're too busy/exhausted. Nearly all the support staff I know, like me, are contracted to work part of the holidays, so no I'm not especially looking forward to 'the end of term and six weeks off' because my end of term won't be happening in 3 weeks and I won't be having 6 weeks off!

And during term time (if you're full time) you've no flexibility at all so if your child is unwell, or your elderly parent breaks a hip, or you find yourself in another emergency situation you have the added hoop-jumping, paperwork and guilt complex that taking time off entails.

Hope that clarifies some of the issues that make teaching/working in a school stressful!

I’ve been a teacher, a TA, I’ve worked in insurance and retail.

Teaching was by far the most stressful.

I’m out of it now and it is bliss to wake up on work days and not dread it. The worst feeling of teaching is that you never ever feel you are doing enough. No matter what you put in. There’s always unhappy parents, children who just aren’t making the progress you’d like because you just don’t have the time to spend with them, children whose home lives are shit and although you do everything you can for them while they are at school, you know they are going home to that. There’s all the administrative bollocks, the observations, OFSTED etc.

It is awful but OP your friend sounds VERY tedious. I tried to never moan to non-teaching friends about work. Who wants to hear other people’s work woes? And when you did share some, she dismissed them?! She sounds like a crappy friend to me.

I get people turning up to my clinics high on drugs, if there's no security around I call the police. I've had patients go to the toilet to do a urine sample and have taken a drug overdose and collapsed. I've had someone take a heart attack in front of me and have had to use a defibrillator

I have parents on drugs or drunk every single day in summer, every single day.

I’m a teacher and yes it is draining. Many many teachers leave the profession within the first five years. I only have 3 years of experience but have witnessed many people leave. Every lesson is different and you really don’t know what you will experience. I’m definitely going to change to a different profession once LO is in school

Plenty of equally or more stressful jobs but it doesn’t take away from teaching also being stressful. It’s the same with many jobs, it takes a certain kind of person to be able to cope with it.

I’m a teacher and I love my job but I know I wouldn’t cope being a nurse, soldier, paramedic, police officer etc. I know many people wouldn’t cope with the general stresses of teaching either hence why so many teachers leave the profession after no time at all.

It isn’t a walk in the park. We don’t work 9-3 then go home. If I asked you to look after 30 children or teenagers tomorrow and also try to teach them how to read, write, spell, do maths or if secondary then teach them about a subject you’re knowledgeable in and try to hold their attention, could you do that? Then repeat five days a week.

I teach in a college so slightly different because my students are 16-66 (that was my oldest student to date anyway!) I have to try to teach some adults to spell, other adults to analyse George Orwell then go home and mark 40+ 2000 word essays. All while juggling four children. Draining.

@chipscheesegravy I expect what your friend meant is that she was working until 5pm with barely enough break to have a wee never mind look at her phone and text you. That’s not my experience of normal working days.

FGS, must we have this exact same discussion so frequently? Why not look up the thousand other threads asking the same thing if you're interested? The reason people have the impression teachers complain all the time is because we're constantly having to defend ourselves from the infuriatingly misinformed people who think we only work school hours and have nothing to do in the holidays. Everyone thinks they're an expert because they went to school.