Is teaching really so stressful?

[summertime06]

Really trying to get my head around this without getting flamed. I have a good friend who is a teacher, part time since having kids, doing the same hours as me (I'm not a teacher), 3 days a week.

For the past year or two, all I ever heard when we met up was how stressful her job was, how difficult it was to be a teacher and a mum at the same time etc etc. I get that there's work to be done outside teaching hours, but I do the same in my completely different job and just get on with it, I think it's part of the job when you get up the pay scale/responsibility level a bit. Any time I did mention that things were similar in my job, I was put down, I couldn't possibly understand how stressful it was to be a teacher?!

And now she's made the decision to take a career break for a few years because there's just no way she can continue to be a teacher and a mum to 3 young kids. That's fine if that's what she wants to do but she's making out that she's been left with no choice but to make this decision because teaching is just so difficult. Is it just me or am I missing something? I get that it can be stressful as are lots of other jobs, but there are surely also lots of advantages? Not having to sort out summer camps and childcare during school holidays? Is it really so much more difficult and stressful compared to other jobs? I genuinely want to understand!

So this week alone this is what I've dealt with:
Child disclosing being hit with a stick by parent regularly
Parent screaming at me because their child got kept in at break for being unsafe by threatening another child with a chair
Family removed from home due to disclosure of sexual abuse, children needing intense support in school
Major fight just outside school gates where one child got head stamped on by another, police involved. Reports to gather.
Six staff off ill in same day
Parents fighting on playground
Hours spent on phone to social workers regarding three families
Supporting parent fleeing DV
Supporting parent made homeless by private landlord because her severely autistic child upset the neighbour
Transition meetings with 10 secondary school Sencos for leavers
End of year production rehearsals
Several PEP reviews and corresponding paperwork

All this on top of a full teaching timetable. I'm in my knees and will need at least the first week of the holidays to mentally get my head back together until it all begins again.

BTW I work in an Ofsted rated ‘Good’ school but we still have regular lesson observations by the Head and other bodies. This causes immense pressure. It is indeed like being on stage.

It broke me - and I lasted longer than many.

Yes, you get to deal with difficult clients and face society's problems - but the difference is - you're supported in doing that.

In teaching the same types of situations - and it would all be YOUR fault that a child showed up off their face on drugs, or brought a knife to school or whatever - you wouldn't have made the lessons interesting and engaging enough... etc etc. You can ban difficult patients, refer on to the police etc... schools have minimal sanctions - and you're potentially dealing with 30 very difficult personalities at one time, with no one else in the room to back you up (and in lots of school shitty management who'll just claim your behaviour management isn't up to scratch if you refer issues on to them) and you have to do all of that by the sheer force of channelling your inner Mary Poppins. You have kids with special needs or behavioural problems who you can see starting to head down the road to a very bleak future - but there aren't the resources to support them and turn them around - so you spread yourself even thinner and thinner and take on more and more burden to try to help them as much as you can do - and then you've got the normal low level kids pushing the boundaries to deal with as well as all of that (and there's usually a few kids in the class who delight in winding up the struggling ones and watching them go) and in lots of situations you can have parents who aren't exactly on-side.

The teaching part is fantastic... solving all of society's problems with a set of knackered whiteboard markers and a glue stick which ran out back in January... less so.

I'm out of it now - off to university in September to retrain for a career change. Did supply for a lot of years to let my mental health recover (I'm fucking good at supply - which is a whole different level in terms of behaviour management needed) but that's dying off as a way of making a living as schools have no money to pay for decent supply cover these days.

I strongly suspect for all the "wanting to understand" comments though that this is to goad.

But yes it was teaching that drove me to sitting in my car every evening in tears wanting to just floor the accelerator and drive into a wall... to the point where my fantastic head caught me sobbing at my desk after school and kicked me off the premises with the threat she'd kill me if she saw me back in school before I was well again... to the point of me being so unable to function I just lay in a dark room for weeks on end... to the stammer I still have now over a decade later when I'm stressed and the anti depressants I still rely on for anxiety and the panic attacks I still suffer. I wasn't quite 30 when I had my breakdown - but like most of us, I came back to work too soon, saw out the year with the class and tried to just do the best by the kids - and made myself worse in the process.

It's like keeping 30 plates spinning, while filling in reports constantly on why they're not spinning fast enough, and while someone randomly decides you need to change them to spin in an anticlockwise direction at a set number of revolutions per minute, with Ofplate randomly deciding to rock up for a random inspection where they'll focus on the one that's starting to wobble and query why it's not been adequately challenged to spin better.... and the plates' parents complaining that you've not adequately spun their precious little plate... in the middle of an earthquake and half of the plates want nothing more in life than to be a Macdonalds milk shake cup.

@Aw82

35 hour week!
Lessons 23 hours
Registration 2.5 hours
Duty (before, lunch and after school) 1.5 hours
Subject meeting 1.5 hours
Weekly whole school meeting .5 hours

So far we are at 29 hours, so you think all lessons can be planned, resources prepared and printed and all work marked in 6 hours?

Everyone thinks they have the most stressful job.
I apparently "don't work at all" as being a carer to my severely disabled child who needs constant round the clock care and supervision "isn't a proper job" so I've been told.

SimonJT
There's no point explaining basic facts or logistics on these sorts of threads because the people who turn up to say how easy it is/how much teachers moan aren't interested in the range of teaching experiences that are out there. They are waiting for people to bite so they can feel vindicated in their weird over-investment and inaccurate judgement of other people's professional lives.

The stress in teaching does depend on the SLT as they can be very supportive but can also use their authority to additionally and unnecessarily pressure teachers. A lot do not have enough to do so fill their time deciding on random changes that the teachers have to implement at great time cost. These are often reversed later.

It is very intense but most teachers (especially the good ones) enjoy the classroom. What they don’t enjoy is the constant pressure to improve and also to provide free additional add ons without the time commitment being appreciated (clubs, stretch-and-challenge sessions, support sessions, planning school trips etc etc).

I (as a second career teacher) do think a lot of teachers who have only ever taught are overly respectful of authority and blindly obedient. Ignoring silly SLT whims can save a lot of time and if you are actually a good teacher in a scarcity subject, no one will sack you for not obeying the latest ‘deep marking’ policy, for instance.

I also think that taking on additional responsibilities outside the classroom (with a fair time allowance) can make teaching more fun and less stressful as it gives you variation and ‘adult time’.

Where I agree with most is that managing a classroom all day and coming home to one’s own boisterous children until bedtime can be extremely intense.

Having said all that, at the right school and with the right leadership, teaching is a lot of fun and very variable and the holidays are amazing! It is like a sabbatical every year.

It's like keeping 30 plates spinning, while filling in reports constantly on why they're not spinning fast enough, and while someone randomly decides you need to change them to spin in an anticlockwise direction at a set number of revolutions per minute, with Ofplate randomly deciding to rock up for a random inspection where they'll focus on the one that's starting to wobble and query why it's not been adequately challenged to spin better.... and the plates' parents complaining that you've not adequately spun their precious little plate... in the middle of an earthquake and half of the plates want nothing more in life than to be a Macdonalds milk shake cup.

That so sums it up.

Have you considered dumping your tediously whining friend and telling her she’s annoying, repetitive and her negativity is bringing you down?
I was a ft teacher for 30 years. Now I’m ft supply. I couldn’t keep going, it was too hard and everything broke including me.
Do I constantly go on about it and compare teaching with other jobs I haven’t a clue about? No, and neither do other teachers I know.
So maybe your friend is the problem.

I was a ft teacher for 30 years. Now I’m ft supply. I couldn’t keep going, it was too hard and everything broke including me.

But god forbid anyone should complain.

if you are actually a good teacher in a scarcity subject, no one will sack you for not obeying the latest ‘deep marking’ policy, for instance.

They WILL.

Obviously the job is the job like any other when at work, it's just that when at home you have the mental load as well which never goes away so yes you bring home paperwork, sometimes ridiculous amounts but it isn't even that it's the fact you can never let go or switch off:

That’s not unique to teaching, at all. I don’t think I know anyone who actually works less than 40 hours a week when “full time”. My offices are well populated from 7am until 7pm and if people aren’t actually in you’ll still be receiving emails until 10pm each night.

When my DH a worked with a drug and alcohol service I would pick him up at 8pm as he finished at 5 but needed to finish paperwork after a solid 8.5 hours of talking to people with awful issues, being attacked, having to make decisions as to whether people should be kicked off the service, having to call ambulances because of overdose and hear harrowing stories in group sessions all while remaining professional. He would sometimes come home shaking.

Now he works in IT/banking he brings home paperwork all the time, often works til 10pm as he’s on the phone most of the working day - often to members of C suite so needing to be “on” constantly - and whenever we go on holiday the laptop and the phone have to come and he will get several calls a day.

My job is similar in that it’s the first and last thing I think of in a day and what gives me palpitations on a Sunday if I don’t spend a couple of hours preparing.

That said, we are both compensated appropriately for our work and I think that’s where we are failing our teachers. And there is no way you should be having to pay for pens and pencils out of your own pockets. I’m grateful people choose to be teachers.

Another issue at my school is more SEN children but less funding. So add to all the other children and their behavioural and learning requirements, a child who needs much more assistance but no funding to employ a TA for more than 2 hours a day (if you’re lucky).But ‘special ‘ schools have all closed down so it’s either a unit for more severe learning difficulties or a mainstream classroom in the interest of being inclusive.

I couldn’t be a teacher. The responsibility and expectation of would drive me mad. When children do not reach expected level it’s your fault (regardless of child’s potential or whether they actually want to learn). I admire my children’s parents. My second child is a handful most times- not much of bad behaviour but he gets overexcited about most things and he never shuts up. Asks endless questions as he has a very inquisitive mind. Imagine having 10 more kids like him in a class every day plus 20 more various characters. I am buying my children’s teachers a nice thank you gift. I can relax mentally when my children are at school as I know they’re in good hands. No amount of money can buy you that.

Doctors etc. have a huge responsibility and make life or death decisions. That sounds very stressful. I do no think you can compare it to teaching. Apples and pears. I see teaching more like a parental role ( even harder though as you have all the hard work and none of the unconditional love- not that you’d want that from other people’s children). You have this little person you have to mould into a responsible young person throughout the course of the year and make sure they have achieved what the government has deemed every child should achieve at a certain age (because all given progress at the same pace, not).

@PantsyMcPantsface, exactly so.
And all the plates different shapes, sizes and materials, some badly cracked and some in danger of exploding. Spinning in a hailstorm.
All your responsibility if they fail or fall. A new set every year.

Apologies for all the typos

I don’t find it stressful, particularly. Less stressful than DH’s job, and the one I had before teaching.

I am on holiday now and won’t even think about school until GCSE results day.

It varies. I'm a secondary HoD, FT with 2 small dcs and i think it's fine. Busy and tiring yes, but not unmanageable. But my school is supportive and has a positive approach to workload. And I think there is a degree of martyrdom from people who can't/won't manage their time well.

BUT.......I have heard some horror stories from people at other schools. Completely unreasonable demands. And the fact that there is such a massive recruitment and retention crisis should tell you all you need to know.

I haven’t read the whole thread yet? But thought I’d shove my two cents worth in, as a teacher.

I’m sure there are harder jobs, but there are lots of us and we like a bit of solidarity. I think those who don’t teach, really can’t understand what it is actually like. I really, really love my job and without blowing my own trumpet (ok, maybe I am) I’m good at it.

We are facing needier and needier children than ever before in our classrooms. In Scotland, they have cut support even further. In a class of 30, you can have 6 or 7 incredibly high need, explosive children, and TA for only some of the teaching time if you are lucky.

Between 0850 and 1515, the only thing I can do is teach and concentrate on the kids. I rarely sit down in that time. Everything else, paperwork, planning etc must be done around that. We plan responsively (i.e. I can’t plan tomorrow’s maths lesson properly until I’ve taught today’s). I teach with a smile on my face and bright voice, even when I know a family member is in hospital seriously ill and I want to hide in a corner and cry. Even when my head feels like it might split in two. I can’t take a day off, my neediest children need the stability of me being there.

I go to sleep worrying about little Jimmy who’s mum drinks too much and social work are ‘going to investigate’. I worry about the child who never turns up and I have to catch him up on three weeks worth of work when he does (and wonder what has been happening in that time). I worry about the child who cries at the start of the holidays and tells me they wish they could stay at school with me. I worry about the child who can’t make friends. I worry about the child who is still waiting for a CAHMS assessment 15 months after we put in an application. I worry about the child who has no confidence in their abilities. I buy food, socks (I had a child coming to school in cheap black boots with no socks on in winter, every day), polo shirts, etc. out of my own money (Jimmy with the drunk mum, doesn’t wash his clothes, I wash them for him). I don’t have to do this, but I can’t stand to see children going without. I then also buy nice things for the class, books, art materials, cooking ingredients, end of term treats.

We organise trips ourselves - researching and phoning venues, email out to find volunteer parents to come on the trips, etc. Each and every lesson requires some prep - if I’m teaching something like the Vikings, I need to know my stuff. If it’s an art lesson, I need to think of every material I will need, sometimes I need a ‘here’s one I made earlier’. Maths - I need to find the right equipment out the cupboard - cubes, calculators or whatever - we share them - you have to physically go and get everything you need. I get into my gym clothes and run around outside teaching PE too. We are expected to be able to teach every subject to a high standard.

In Scotland (don’t know about England) we have to keep an up dated record of training and skills which gets checked. We pay £60 a year for this privilege. We have to go to regular training sessions after work, often at schools far away from us. I also go to uni at weekends as I’m doing a Masters.

Like I said, I love my job and I get so much out of what I do, I really wouldn’t do anything else.
However, it’s really not easy to do it well. It’s emotionally and physically exhausting. There are different pressures compared to office based jobs that I’ve had in the past. It’s not a competition, but it is a bit wearing having people demean our profession and what we do for your most precious possessions every day...

@herculepoirot2
What’s the point in complaining constantly to a friend that doesn’t get it?
To politicians, media, to the press, to parents and governors to try and force change, yes. But grumbling? It wearies the listener and it’s not good for the complainer unless something can change.

@lolasmiles
It's a job I do do. That's why I chipped in my 2p worth.

My DH is a teacher and doesn't find it the most stressful job in the world, for balance. But for context, he used to work ridiculously long hours in an industry he hated that almost broke him. He loves teaching, he finds it enriching and is so so much happier now. I think maybe people that find it the most stressful job in the world made the wrong career choice, as my DH did with his industry job. If your job makes you feel that bad then it really isn't the right fit for you - the best thing DH did was walk out of that job & retrain (as a teacher!).

Then there are parents to deal with....everything from the unable to cope, wants you to sort their whole life out for them (this is becoming more and more common - I’ve organised charities to deliver beds, organise out of school care and support, etc.) to the parents who want to string you up and slate you because you had a single typo in a Blog post (happened to a colleague).

Having said that, the majority of my parents are super delightful and supportive! We do appreciate them!!

I started training as a nurse when I was in my teens. I couldn't do it. I have so much admiration for the medical profession.
However teaching and nursing are two different professions. I am a better teacher than I ever was a nurse.
I am still in touch with some I trained with and we all say we couldn't do the other's job.
People see the holidays and think we have it easy. I couldn't take the responsibility of having to look after someone and responsible for their life.
I think as women we all work hard.