To not feel like an adult

[CarrotCaked]

I'm 35 and I genuinely do not feel like an adult. I've never felt like an adult. I keep waiting - thinking I'll do X, Y or Z when I feel more grown up, when I might be taken seriously.

I almost feel apologetic going about my daily stuff, I want to explain that although I'm 35 I'm just sort of pretending to be a grown up.

I meet people and I think they came out of the womb as fully formed adults. They do all their adulting with confidence.

Just me?

Hey I’m 57 and have two teenagers and have my own business. But inside I’m a 22 year old just trying to figure it all out.

This is exactly how I feel!!! I’m 37, I’m always wondering when and what will make me feel like a grown up!!

47 next week and feel like I have less and less of a clue with each passing day... I have three teenagers to confirm this.

Most people are just muddling through, learning things as they go. We had our first blocked toilet the other week, and had no real idea what to do as we had not had one before. But a bit of googling and then the realisation that the water board would come and sort it. Which they did. Now we are more grown up than before and would look very adult in another blocked toilet situation.

How do other people manage being Adults so seamlessly?

Well, you definitely are one how do you define adult, and why don’t you meet those parameters in your mind do you think?

I'm in my mid twenties and still trying to accept that I am an adult. I don't feel like a teenager - but I don't feel grown up either. It's not a feeling I like very much and I hope it passes - but judging by the above it might not! Lol

Not just you. Do you have children? I didn't feel adult until I had one, the change in me was quite remarkable.

Enjoy your youth and don't worry about it!

I went to my mums today and had a shower...she has a huge cupboard full of disrespect bedding and towels...I can't wait til I'm a grown up like her!! We own about 6 towels and 2 poncho towers for the kids... they live on the back of the bathroom door on hooks mostly!!

My mum also irons everything including tea towels and knickers...

I'm 37 and basically just winging it until I reach adulthood.

Spare not disrespect

I still feel sheepish going to buy a car or a house like they’re not going to believe I’m a legitimate customer.

I’m 53 and I finally feel like an adult. I see things now with a much broader perspective, and I don’t feel anything is about me. I’d be pushed to take something personally.

It’s odd actually, I’ve sort of gone from woman-child to wise crone.

she has a huge cupboard full of disrespect

I'm the same but I'm 44. I still feel like an awkward 14 year old.

Oh no one is really an adult, you just have more experiences the older you get, so you know what to do. Mostly. Kind of. Maybe!
Ditto for spare bedding/towels. I've found I've accumulated stuff over the years, but none of it matches!
I take notions that I'd like to have Co ordinated towels in muted grown up colors etc, but then I see watermelon printed beach towels in Tesco and it all goes to shit!

Isn't it called imposter syndrome? I get it at work all the time ... I'm in geriatric care and often just wait for someone to discover that it was all a mistake and they never mean to hire me..

I'm 40 next year. I have two children and am married. I am old enough to be mother to one of my co-workers. There are people I know that are younger than me and who have grandchildren .

But still I don't feel anything near to grown-up. I have no idea what I'm doing with this grown up nonsense.

I find as I get older I take things less personally/give less of a fuck too. It really is none of my business what others think of me, and not everything is about me.
Confidence is a huge part of this I think. I find people who put others down are often over compensating for lack of knowledge/confidence in their knowledge. I'm completely happy to say 'I don't understand/don't know' and (at work) let my staff shine.

The only time I feel like an adult is when my grown up dc have a problem I can solve. The rest of the time I still go to dm with my problems for her to solve.

Rather than Imposter Syndrome, I worry I suffer with the Dunning-Kruger Effect but I just don't know it, so off I go talking crap without realizing I don't actually know anything I'm talking about.

I'm the opposite, have felt 40 since I was a child and once I get there, I think I'll stay at 40 for the rest of my life

Occasionally I do wonder why they let us out of the hospital with DD as she will need a more adultier adult in life.

I’m still shocked when people treat me like an adult, I’ve got three kids of my own and still feel like I’m playing pretend

Lots of people seem to have their shit together and I frequently look at them and wonder how they do it. Do they ever have doubts? I guess some people just seem to sail through life. I guess it's down to attitude and being lucky. Maybe pretending to know what you're doing even if you don't! Fake it until you make it. I wing my way through a lot.

Why do you feel like an adult? Its ok to always have a young outlook. Im mid 50s and have never felt grown up and I know someone older than me that feels the same! Maybe you think other people dont take you seriously but maybe they do? Maybe its you that doesnt take yr self seriously?! Let it go. Go with the flow-worrying about will make you feel old ironically Its boring being grown up or so Im told....