Meet the Other Phone. Protection built in.

Meet the Other Phone.
Protection built in.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To think my partner should stop smoking weed every single God damn night?

66 replies

Picklemuncher123 · 05/07/2019 22:38

I've been with him almost 4 years. We are engaged we are happy and have a beautiful baby boy. Sadly my fiances dad passed away 2 weeks ago. We own the 3 bedroom flat we live in which is situated in a block of 2. Before I met my partner I didnt know he smoked weed. When we moved in together and bought this place he smoked weed once a week. Over the last year hes smoked it every single night and I've let it go.. only now , residents of both blocks have noticed the smell and the guy above us has told everyone that he knows it's my dp that is smoking it. I now fear for mine and my little boys safety. I'm so angry that my dp is doing this and quite frankly doesn't give two shits about our safety. He wont even give me a reason as to why he does it. He was doing it before his dad passed. But I feel I cant get angry or get mad with him because his dad only passed two weeks ago

I really sont know what to do. I cant force him to stop but it's gotten to a stage where I wish we didnt live here anymore and Its all his fault because other people in the block are threatening the police and all sorts. :(

OP posts:
ProteinshakesandAntonsAss · 06/07/2019 08:09

The neightbour may jot follow through on the threats of violence.

But someone may call SS

Fleetheart · 06/07/2019 08:11

The problem isn’t the weed, it’s that he’s not listening to your concerns.
If you are being threatened by a neighbour that’s a horrible thing for you to be putting up with. If he won’t listen to you and nothing is changing then you have to think about your next move. Is there anywhere else you can go?

missyB1 · 06/07/2019 08:12

The effects of second hand smoking smoking applies to weed smoking as well. It will be on your partners clothes, breath etc and it will affect you and your toddler. Personally I wouldn’t be with any kind of smoker because of that.
Anyway bottom line is you aren’t happy about it and he’s refusing to listen. Tell him he needs to seek help for his dependency because you cannot tolerate this any longer.

TabbyMumz · 06/07/2019 08:13

His brain will be pickled with it.

Queenoftheashes · 06/07/2019 08:16

I thought this was my mum at first!
My father smoked weed for 40 years. Ended up being daily and he took it on cruises even. He had to give up when he got a job on the railway. Can you encourage your P into a drug tested career?

PooWillyBumBum · 06/07/2019 08:20

I don’t actually think the issue is him smoking weed, I think it’s that he’s making your living situation difficult, risking someone reporting you and I also believe fibbing about the money.

DH estimates £2.50-£5 a day depending on how many joints and the quality of what he is smoking.

If he wants to smoke and it fits into the budget then why can’t he go for a walk somewhere? Do you realise though that after he’s “picked up” and has a certain amount on him he’s vulnerable to getting arrested for possession? He needs to be more responsible about this now he’s a father.

PooWillyBumBum · 06/07/2019 08:22

Just to add I’m not condoning weed smoking - DH was a drug and alcohol counsellor in a past life and it’s surprising how it can ruin lives - but I also think if I had to choose I’d rather a partner who smoked once a day than one who drank frequently!

Anonmummyoftwo · 06/07/2019 08:30

Honestly he wont stop. My daughters father smokes weed and had no issue smoking it in the garden even if i asked him not to. Then if it rained he started in the kitchen. It might only be in the evening now but soon it will be on his days off work then as soon as hes home. It got so bad that because my ex was taking money out of my purse for it i couldnt have cash on me and had to change my pin for my card. Alot of people think smoking weeds fine and i used to think like that till my ex. Not all stoners are relaxed and chilled out. You need to give him a choice the weed or his family. Do it soon. Yes his dad has just died but you leave it much longer and hel have another reason why he needs it

Branleuse · 06/07/2019 10:13

maybe he could go for a walk somewhere instead of right outside the flats? Your neighbour sounds like a nutter

VapeVamp12 · 06/07/2019 10:29

I used to smoke every night, probably 2-3 splifs and would spend about £40 a month. It depends how much u put in!

I think what would annoy me more was that he kept the habit from you until you moved in, you didn’t to make your own decision, it was just put on you.

As PP said I think he needs to walk round the block or do it somewhere else now you have a child. Better yet, give up!

WhentheRabbitsWentWild · 06/07/2019 10:43

OP

£20 a month would not cover the weed if he smokes it every night .
He is spending more than he is saying on it .

Branleuse · 06/07/2019 11:34

I think if hes been smoking it the whole time youve been together, then now is not the time to start pressuring him 2 weeks after such a significant bereavement, but its perfectly ok to say that neighbours are becoming threatening and he has to find a non stinky method to partake or go elsewhere to do it. If its only a spliff in the evening, he could sit in a park and do that like all the kids round here do

mussolini9 · 06/07/2019 11:54

One joint a night every night would be about £150 my OH recons (ex weed smoker)

Ha ha ha OH's weed must still be fuddling his brains. £150/month would buy enough weed to smoke several joints a night.
OP's partner is likely spending around £50 a month. That's including the tobacco.

Queenofthestress · 06/07/2019 12:23

About 4g a month depending on how much he's putting in so £40 on weed then add the cost of baccy, but that's if it's a king skin or a single skin smoke as well 🤷‍♀️

MitziK · 06/07/2019 13:27

@OkPedro, most people skin up inside, even if they light up outside.
Grinding is more efficient than crumbling, especially if you've got weed and seed or a fuckton of buds, but that carries the risk of putting a hell of a lot more in because it's harder to see how much is laying on the tobacco, so it doesn't end up saving any money in the end. I could describe the process involved in chasing - it's a lot different to skinning up - but it's not relevant here, so why you think I'm referring to that when I'm not using the appropriate terminology for it is beyond me.

To spend 15 minutes outside toking, it's not going to be a single paper - might be threes, might be kingsize blues, might be rips - which means much more is being added, too - tobacco as well. It won't be exactly the same amount as in a single with roach that takes 5 minutes.

But nursery age kids do pick up on the process, even if you think they have no idea it's going on - they're great mimics.

If he got an electric vaporiser (not a vape pen with oil), he'd use far less and wouldn't piss off the neighbours - who wants the smell of skunk every night especially as solid has gone the way of Spangles and decent Dairy Milk ?, but he would be far more likely to have a whitey, as it's deceptively gentle - he'd also be doing it inside and they aren't cheap to buy, although if he stopped smoking tobacco altogether, that would easily cover the cost of the machine within two months.

Does he pick up or does somebody come round? Either way, he's likely at some point to become noticed (if nothing else, by the smell) and if the neighbour is that angry, it's not much of a leap to think that he isn't beyond making a false report of dealing coming from your flat.

I just don't think it's worth it when there is a pissed off neighbour and a kid that needs clothes, shoes and food in the home.

The2Ateam · 06/07/2019 13:39

I’ve been here OP. It’s horrible, no where as easy as people coming on here saying’leave him’ etc. Do you what, at the end of the day the only thing that made my DP stop was a major health scare, a really nasty one. But it made me realise what a selfish person he was/is. Marriage, kids, made no difference to him - he carried on smoking and spending. He stopped for himself only.

New posts on this thread. Refresh page