To think my partner should stop smoking weed every single God damn night?

[Picklemuncher123]

I've been with him almost 4 years. We are engaged we are happy and have a beautiful baby boy. Sadly my fiances dad passed away 2 weeks ago. We own the 3 bedroom flat we live in which is situated in a block of 2. Before I met my partner I didnt know he smoked weed. When we moved in together and bought this place he smoked weed once a week. Over the last year hes smoked it every single night and I've let it go.. only now , residents of both blocks have noticed the smell and the guy above us has told everyone that he knows it's my dp that is smoking it. I now fear for mine and my little boys safety. I'm so angry that my dp is doing this and quite frankly doesn't give two shits about our safety. He wont even give me a reason as to why he does it. He was doing it before his dad passed. But I feel I cant get angry or get mad with him because his dad only passed two weeks ago

I really sont know what to do. I cant force him to stop but it's gotten to a stage where I wish we didnt live here anymore and Its all his fault because other people in the block are threatening the police and all sorts. :(

It's only ever when our baby is in bed asleep

Does it affect his work ?

£20 a month... Have had a lot of partners who smoked weed. Would rattle through £20 worth in a few days with light smoking.
One joint a night every night would be about £150 my OH recons (ex weed smoker)

For that amount I really wouldn't be bothered, 15 minutes a night, one joint, probably not much more than £20 a month, if he was having one gin and tonic or one glass of wine no one would bat an eye. The neighbor complaints have to be respected though and he needs to think about location.

Can he at least buy a vape? That way the neighbours won't be able to smell it and it at least solves that problem.

They are quite expensive though. I don't know what your financial situation is.

Depends if it's skunk weed or not. Skunk is more expensive (and much smellier so possibly more likely). Round where I am a £20 bag of skunk would make ten to fifteen joints depending how much you put in. So one joint a night could cost up to £60 per month.

I personally don't think one joint a day is a dangerous addiction in itself but the associated issues are obviously a problem. Could he go out for a walk to smoke it? Expects to get slated

You can't really estimate how much weed he'd be getting through because people put different amounts in a spliff. Some might roll a blunt and others might just use a tiny sprinkling over the tobacco, and everything inbetween. It really is how long is a piece of string.

If it's rolled lightly you can get ten or more joints from £20 so I don't know where £150 comes from! You would have to account for the tobacco I guess.

Could he not go for a walk/take the bins out/walk the dog and puff doing that? Keeps it away from you, your son and your neighbours.

Highly doubt it's £20 a week, probably £40-50 a week and that's a light smoker.

I have heard that cannabis oil - or maybe it's called marijuana oil - is available for vaping but not widely, so I think it's expensive and hard to source. I'm sure it would still smell though.

Just had a second opinion on the £20 bag: they think more like six to ten joints so up to £100 per month.

Depends OP but at least £20-30 a week if he’s smoking every night.

I don’t live in the UK so I don’t know the prices there but where I live marijuana is legal and my DH smokes every day. It costs around £40 a month but that’s legal weed bought from a licensed shop. Legal weed is a lot cheaper than illegal weed so I would say £20 a month is a fairy story or he’s not smoking proper weed but a “watered down” version.

I don’t have a problem with weed. But if a neighbor is making threats to you, for whatever reason, you need to do something. How long has the neighbor been saying things? The smell of weed isn’t to everyone’s taste and if he has been asking for 4 years for your boyfriend to stop and he’s not only refused to stop but has actually increased his consumption then I can see why the neighbor is annoyed. Even here where it’s legal it has to be “out of sight and smell of anyone not involved”. But the neighbor shouldn’t be making threats. Because you’ve let it go on so long, your boyfriend obviously thinks you have no problem with it. You will need to tell him that he needs to stop it and that will be very difficult now under the circumstances and because you have tolerated it for so long in silence.

When I left my XH, in part because of his MJ usage, I needed to cover the entire rent on my salary. Food and utilities went down a bit, but not a ton. I still paid for his phone, insurance, and some other bills that were just his because I was a vastly higher earner and was giving him some transition time. Basically, I should gave been broke. Yet my bank account just kept growing. I have no proof why I had so much extra money, but I gave a pretty good guess.

Realistically, he's spending (if it is just one a night) about £80-£100 a month on weed. And, depending on how much straight tobacco he smokes the rest of the time, up to about £300 on fags/rizla/filters, a bit less if he smokes roll ups.

Add to that your DC will smell of it in nursery and will likely be able to replicate rolling a spliff, complete with grinding/crumbling the gear, it's going to be blatantly obvious that it's happening.

My db vapes it every night for medicinal reasons, 5 grams last him a week. It would be costing more than 20 a month. It depends on the quality of the cannabis. I grabbed this pricing from Google. [https://www.quora.com/What-is-the-current-street-price-of-marijuana-in-the-UK]
Can he walk further away, to keep the smoke away from windows?

He is a drug addict and a lowlife one to boot ... he is doing it in your home while his child is there. What a nice man (not) No excuses - he is a selfish dick. Dump the looser ffs do you really want your little one going to nursery/school stinking of drugs?

It sounds like your neighbours have had enough of it and I suspect if you don't leave you could find yourself answering the door to the police. Don't listen to anyone trying normalise smoking weed because it really isn't.

mitziK Op said he smokes when their son is in bed and he smokes outside. Don’t be a drama llama talking about grinding and crumbling the gear. It’s fuckn weed not heroin 🙄
Op asking this on mn isn’t always a good idea. Anyone who has a drop of alcohol is an alcoholic and someone who smokes a joint in the evenings is a drug addict.
I agree with pps you need to tell your oh that it’s you and the baby or his weed. He can easily smoke away from your neighbours

If a spliff a day is costing him £150 a month he needs a new dealer!!!

All these people who never smoke suddenly knowing the costs/making up random numbers

1 spliff a day is probably in the range of 20-40 a month depending on how much he uses. Way less than a g&t a day

Street weed is £10 a gram (that's for cheap skunk) a smoke in the morning and one at night would easily use 0.8-1g each day.
It isn't exactly cheap anywhere.
My source, I smoke weed and see the menu.

We are engaged we are happy

Clearly not happy if he smokes weed every day. You need to reevaluate.

Why is it a problem only when the neighbor complained. You're just as bad for putting up with this around your child. It doesnt matter that he does it outside.

Outside whilst child is upstairs sleeping is not 'around your child'

He's spanking your money up the wall on a drug habit. He refused to change. There's nothing you can do to make him change, so either put up with it or leave, for your daughter's sake.

If my DH did any drug he’d be out of the door. Where are your priorities?

Not a chance is one smoke a night £20 a month.

And while I would threaten violence, I would be raging if a neighbour was stinking out everyone's flats every night.

If they all can smell it. So can your child.

So you are with a man who enforces weed smoke on your child and spends the families money on it.

You cany force him to stop. You can leave.