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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To ask for this money?

113 replies

Bluebluebluebell · 05/07/2019 22:05

Ex and I bought a car together a few years ago. Due to his needing it for work, we agreed that he would use it to commute but I would have priority over it at the weekend.

Now we’ve recently split, he wants to keep it. He is arguing that because he paid the insurance he has essentially invested more money into it. However my argument is that whilst this is true, adding me as an additional driver actually lowered the premium than if he was sole driver. This is because he is in a profession which is considered high risk whereas mine is viewed as low risk.

However we split costs for maintenance and service etc.

The car was bought for £20k and is now worth about £9-10k.

I think the fair thing would be for him to buy his share from me. Or we sell it and split the proceeds. He thinks I’m being petty and that what he spent on me over the years is way more than £5K but he’s not asking for that back. I think that is ridiculous as we have BOTH spent money on each other and gifts are different to assets like a car that we BOUGHT TOGETHER.

Sorry for the caps. I’m really pissed off with his attitude and making me feel like I’m being petty and unreasonable.

Am I really BU?

OP posts:
SunniDay · 05/07/2019 23:43

Hi OP,
You have stated that the car is not on finance but you had a loan to buy it.

The loan may be morally related to the car but on a practical level it is not related to the car. The situation is as you stated the car could be sold and you could choose to pay off the loan or not to pay it off.

Whose name is the loan in? This is vital! I am not aware that it is possible to have a joint loan (that is not a mortgage) though I of course could be wrong!

The person who took out the loan in their name should keep the car. The car is worth 10k ish and there is 10k left on the loan so if the person that owes the loan keeps the car it falls equal.

If one person keeps the car but the other owes and pays the loan then the one who holds the asset of the car is 10k up and the one holding the debt of the loan is 10k down. That is not acceptable.

You should not arrange for the person that does not owe the loan to keep the car and pass the money across monthly as the arrangement is likely to quickly fail and result in the person holding the loan being ripped off. If the loan is in your name bailiffs for example won't be a bit interested that your ex has the car as a loan (rather than finance) is not directly linked to the car. They would want the money from the person owing the loan.

The only way the person who does not owe the loan can keep the car is by paying the person with the loan the 10k from savings or a new loan. The person with the original loan that receives this payment can choose to pay off the original loan with this lump sum or choose not to pay it off and continue to pay the original loan monthly- it's up to them.

Hope that makes sense?

lyralalala · 05/07/2019 23:46

Whose name is the loan in? Can he take over the loan on his own? (Properly, not just him taking over the payments)

If he uses the car for work and is offering to take over the loan even though the car may not be worth the outstanding value I think you’d be mad, and petty, to not accept that offer.

Whatever happens the joint loan has to be transferred properly into one name or paid off. The fact you could pay it off later is irrelevant - you are splitting up, you need to be rid of joint finance

LoveChaos · 05/07/2019 23:59

What gifts did he buy you? I am just wondering if he has a point.

Merryoldgoat · 06/07/2019 00:13

Ok.

You bought it for, say, £20k. You’ve both paid into it equally for 5 years. You own it jointly and equally.

You owe £10k now and you’ve decided to split up.

Car is valued at £10k, you both own half of it. However the loan needs to be discharged too. Do you both own £5k of car and £5k of debt.

You can give him the car but he takes the associated debt too, or he an buy your half but you will still owe your half of the loan.

You don’t get to have £5k and no debt.

YABU

Blubluboo · 06/07/2019 11:06

I've chanced my vote to YABU after the additional information about you not actually owning the vehicle!

WhoKnewBeefStew · 06/07/2019 11:11

If the car is worth 10k but you have 10k owing on it, just give it to him and sign over your half of the debt to him. He's not gained anything, and you've got no debt either. Take out a loan yourself and buy yourself a car, even the exact same car if you wanted to.

If you sold the car and paid off the loan you'd be left with nothing anyway.

50% of fuck all, is still fuck all.

MeanMrMustardSeed · 06/07/2019 11:14

OP you need to disregard the voting as I have changed mine with the disclosure of further information relating to the fact that you do not own the car outright. I think most of the voting will relate to the Opening Post and not take into account the detail.

In this situation, I actually think I’d happily walk away from this. I can not think of any other vehicle (other than collectors classics) that can be bought for 20k and still be worth 10-15k years later.

Passthecherrycoke · 06/07/2019 11:18

OP are you wanting to take the car and continue paying the loan by yourself? And that’s what he’s wanting to? I struggle to see how either of you are better off, why not just let him take the car and loan and you buy a new car?

StealthPolarBear · 06/07/2019 11:22

I think the issue here is that the ex is expecting the joint loan repayments to continue as before

Pinktinker · 06/07/2019 11:22

The car is essentially worthless. You’ve already forked out its current value and still need to pay the same again for it. I would honestly write off the money and move forward with your life assuming this is your only tie to him. It’s not your car or his technically, its the finance company’s.

RonnieScotts · 06/07/2019 11:25

@StealthPolarBear no he isn't

It is under joint names. Ex is suggesting we take my name off and he take over payment as sole owner

StealthPolarBear · 06/07/2019 11:30

Ah OK then.

imsuchagrump · 06/07/2019 11:31

If you owe £10k finance on the car neither of you own the car actually you owe £5k on the car until the debt is paid off . If he is happy to pay the rest of the finance I'd let him and be glad , it'd be a different story if you owned the car outright.
If you sold the car there will be still the 10k debt to pay that he's not going to want to pay you 5k .
I think yabu you are arguing over something that neither of you actually own .

BlueSkiesLies · 06/07/2019 11:32

He gets the car +£10k and the debt -£10k = 0.

You get 0.

Totally fair.

Why on earth would you think you should be paid £5k for something that is worth zero when you take into account the debt on it?!

BlueSkiesLies · 06/07/2019 11:33

You’re not being “petty” you’re just being completely stupid and unreasonable

Passthecherrycoke · 06/07/2019 11:34

The car isn’t on finance it was just paid for with a personal loan from ie Barclays. So someone or both of them need to pay the loan regardless of who gets the car

Missingstreetlife · 06/07/2019 11:34

Let it go, you'll get a nicer new car on a lease agreement. If you sell it to his brother (say) and pay back the loan, he can still get another loan and buy it back. You are being silly, you don't want outstanding loan with him going forward.

Time40 · 06/07/2019 11:37

Maybe the OP has just got used to that particular car, and really likes it? It's U to ask for any money, but it's not U to have a fair process to decide who gets to keep the car. I think you should draw straws for it, OP!

WeeDangerousSpike · 06/07/2019 11:37

It's a no brainer op - you let him have the car and he takes over the payments. You stroll away unencumbered by the debt.

You can't ask him to pay you for equity that you don't have. If you ignore all the previous joint payments and being lost by the depreciation he'd be effectively paying 15k (plus interest) for a 10k car.

You'd be better off than selling it for 10k and taking your 5, then paying off your half of the loan (5k plus interest)

CalmFizz · 06/07/2019 11:45

You say it’s 10k outstanding plus interest. Interest on 10k isn’t going to be a curly wurly and a bottle of panda pop, is it?

Is the loan joint names?

Passthecherrycoke · 06/07/2019 11:47

Any personal loan I’ve had the interest is included in the monthly payment from day 1 Confused

Densol999 · 06/07/2019 11:49

In order to severe all financial ties for credit reference reporting, the joint debt needs to be replaced with a debt in just his name and he keeps the car, as he is buying the car again, £10k debt for £10k car

Or car sold for £10k and loan paid off of £10k and you both start again individually with whatever car you want

I just dont think you properly understand how finances work and no wonder his family are frustrated at your lack of basic calculations and fairness

Gladrag · 06/07/2019 11:52

If it's a joint loan, you are both jointly and separately liable for the debt. I would either sell the car and ensure the loan was paid off in full, or make sure your name is removed from the loan before agreeing to him having the car. You are not entitled to £5000 while he is liable for the full costs of the car.

Selmababies · 06/07/2019 11:58

I'd voted YANBU... until I read the part about it still being on finance! 10k value - 10k left to pay = zero. Half of zero is zero. YABU I'm afraid.*

Me too!
I suspect many others have done the same with the voting option.

Let him keep the car and be thankful for getting your name removed from the the financial agreement.

OKBobble · 06/07/2019 11:59

As the debt equals the worth of the car there is no actual asset.
There are 3 ways to deal with it.

(1) it is sold and debt cleared. Nothing left to divide up. Noone gets the benefit of having a car.

(2) He keeps the car on the understanding that the finance is transferred into his name and you are taken off the insurance. There is no payment to you as he gets a depreciating asset but also the burden of the debt repayments.

(3) Vice versa to 2 but you take over the payments and insure in your name.

2 and 3 can only happen if the finance company is prepared to let one or other of you take over the debt as a sole borrower. If not then to prevent damage to your credit rating should he default then sell and start over separately.