Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Flexible and made to last.

Meet the Other Phone.
Flexible and made to last.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To ask for this money?

113 replies

Bluebluebluebell · 05/07/2019 22:05

Ex and I bought a car together a few years ago. Due to his needing it for work, we agreed that he would use it to commute but I would have priority over it at the weekend.

Now we’ve recently split, he wants to keep it. He is arguing that because he paid the insurance he has essentially invested more money into it. However my argument is that whilst this is true, adding me as an additional driver actually lowered the premium than if he was sole driver. This is because he is in a profession which is considered high risk whereas mine is viewed as low risk.

However we split costs for maintenance and service etc.

The car was bought for £20k and is now worth about £9-10k.

I think the fair thing would be for him to buy his share from me. Or we sell it and split the proceeds. He thinks I’m being petty and that what he spent on me over the years is way more than £5K but he’s not asking for that back. I think that is ridiculous as we have BOTH spent money on each other and gifts are different to assets like a car that we BOUGHT TOGETHER.

Sorry for the caps. I’m really pissed off with his attitude and making me feel like I’m being petty and unreasonable.

Am I really BU?

OP posts:
upple · 05/07/2019 23:10

We need an I'VE CHANGED MY MIND DUE TO FURTHER INFORMATION button.

Jemima232 · 05/07/2019 23:11

Look, OP.

If he keeps the car, he keeps the debt.

If the pair of you agree to sell it, you both end up with no car.

That's fair. You may be pissed off because he used it more than you. I get that. So why were you paying for a car you weren't using?

Sunshine93 · 05/07/2019 23:11

You can change your mind on a vote. I just did

AmIRightOrAMeringue · 05/07/2019 23:12

OP youd be happy to keep the car

But you can also bu similar vmcare for a similar price elsewhere

Sounds like basically it was his car most of the time as per your arrangement

For the sake of a few days hassle, let him take over the finance agreement and hey another similar car instead

Chesntoots · 05/07/2019 23:12

I think you are cutting your nose off to spite your face here.

It's worth the square foot of fuck all with the finance on it. I would let him keep it, take your name off and buy a nice, new car instead of paying finance on an old car which you want to keep just so he doesn't have it.

I've been through divorce and splits before and lost out financially. It's just stuff and sometimes it's worth remembering that or you just get bitter. And petty stuff like this is why I could never be a divorce lawyer.

Yessers · 05/07/2019 23:12

As more is owed on the car than it is worth I think one of you should keep the car and pay the debt on it yourselves without input from the one who won't get the car. I would rather be the one without the car and without the 10k debt.

upple · 05/07/2019 23:13

So you can Sunshine Smile

RonnieScotts · 05/07/2019 23:13

You need to stop seeing the car as an asset, it is a debt that you owe. Either you write the debt over to him or write it off together by liquidating the asset. Either way you own half of the debt, at the moment the car is not actually worth anything.

Original poster
Bluebluebluebell · 05/07/2019 23:13

No, when I say the car has just under 10k left on it, I mean that we bought it with a loan, not on finance with a dealership. It legally belongs to us jointly. If we sell it, we still have the loan to pay but when we do that is up to us.

OP posts:
Jemima232 · 05/07/2019 23:14

And OP.
Cars are almost never assets. Unless you own a limited edition very high-end car you're always going to lose money on cars.

VBT2 · 05/07/2019 23:14

Agree with PP, take your name off finance and walk away. It’s not a joint asset, it’s a joint debt, that’s he’s willing to take on. Bite his hand off, move on.

Sunshine93 · 05/07/2019 23:14

Is the dent in his name or yours? Assuming his then yabu. Why would he keep a debt of 10k and give you 5k?

why should he get to keep the benefits of the car and I start from scratch? why cant you just get a different car on finance. This new car will be in a better state than your old one. If you keep the old one you will incure 10k debt. If you sell the old one then according to what you've said you will both end up with nothing and have to start from scratch.

I think you are being a bit petty and/or getting confused about the financial arrangement.

Lemonlady22 · 05/07/2019 23:15

you paid £20,000 for a car on finance and you still owe £10,000...and you want £5 k....lol neither of you own the car its owned by the finance company until its paid off. Both of you should be paying half the monthly payment then when its paid off sell it and get half each on the profit. I dont think you can sell a car thats on finance before its paid off as its not yours to sell!

Sunshine93 · 05/07/2019 23:17

Sorry i cross posted. So he either pays you 5k and you keep the debt jointly which seem ludicrous or he changes the debt to his name only and when he has done this you hand over the car.

Are his family expecting you to hand over the car and still pay your half of the loan?

I don't see how selling the car will help you at all

Jemima232 · 05/07/2019 23:17

FFS - the longer you leave it to sell the car, the less it'll be worth.

Do you even understand the basics around car buying and depreciation?

It doesn't matter who the finance is with (car dealership/bank loan/whatever) It is still a debit for which you are jointly responsible

Actually, is the loan in your joint names?

kidsmakesomuchwashing · 05/07/2019 23:17

I agree with everyone saying let him have it and the debt. You can't guarantee you'd sell it for 10k you may get less than that and then you'd be in negative equity. Even if you got a bit more say 11k you'd only get £500 each is it really worth arguing over £500 quid. Leave him to it with the debt.

Smurfie12 · 05/07/2019 23:18

You can't sell a car that still has finance owing on it, as it will show up on an hpi check. It is also very difficult to remove a name from a finance agreement as they will have used both incomes to work out that you could afford the payment.

Mummymummums · 05/07/2019 23:19

Even with the debt not actually attached to the car, why can't you see it's totally unreasonable to expect him to keep the £10k debt AND give you £5k Confused
How about you take on the debt, keep the car and give him £5k?

poisonivybee · 05/07/2019 23:20

if you've not paid it all off anyway, what've you paid so far towards it?

If you've paid £10k together towards it so far, I assume you've paid £5k towards it personally, right? It's around half the value now, so maybe £2.5k back or more because I rounded things down? Otherwise, he's gifting you.

So, YABU to expect the whole £5k back, but YANBU to expect a percentage of what you've paid towards it, it wasn't a gift, it was an investment you made together.

I do think selling it and splitting the money is a better option though because I'm kind of confused...

poisonivybee · 05/07/2019 23:22

oh wait, I just read that you can't sell it, nevermind... I need to get off the internet and go to bed.

Jemima232 · 05/07/2019 23:22

It wasn't a gift, it was an investment you made together

FFS a car is never an investment. Cars always depreciate in value.

poisonivybee · 05/07/2019 23:26

and I'm starting to change my mind, it's starting to sound fairer to let him have the debt and say goodbye to £5k

poisonivybee · 05/07/2019 23:31

FFS a car is never an investment. Cars always depreciate in value.

Wrong choice of word obviously! Just meant it was something they bought together so he could get to work to provide for his family, not something she gave him as a present.

It's clear what I meant, no need to be rude.

Tigger001 · 05/07/2019 23:32

I may be missing something here, but if you sell it then what is received is owed straight back to the finance company, so there is nothing to split.

Families are saying you are being petty as you just want him without the car so he doesn't get the benefit, but surely he is paying the finance in it, and the 5k you put into it covers the time you did use it whilst you were together ?

Am I missing something as I am very tired so may be missing the whole point.

LittleMousewithcloggson · 05/07/2019 23:41

Am loving the fact you can change your vote!
Yabu
Half of nothing is nothing - not 5k. The money you put in is gone. He is basically starting again by getting a 10k car and having to pay the whole current value off himself - he gains nothing other than knowing the cars history