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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think she should do the overtime

218 replies

Redrupunzle · 05/07/2019 10:58

So I started a new job last month, it's low paid (8.50) and is temporary, to cover maternity leave. Tbh I'm way over qualified but I've been out of the work place for nearly 4 years after having my eldest and now my youngest is 1 I'm wanting some part time work in this field just to dip my toe back in and freshen my cv a bit. I've no intention of working more then two days until my youngest starts school and I've definitely no intention of working weekends ever again. I've done jobs since I was 14 and worked all hours and now I want to put my family and my life first, I'm also starting a course in September to freshen up some skills. Anyway that's the background. So the job is 2 days per week and I made it clear that that's all I could do, hr we're still delighted to have me on board. My manager has now come and said the woman on the reception desk has two weeks holiday coming up and I need to help cover. I said I don't really have childcare but I'll ask and try and do an extra weekday on each of the weeks. Shes not happy and said she needs me to do the Saturday. I said "I'm sorry I can't I spend the weekends with my kids", She then said "I understand that but if you don't cover it I'll have to and my kids are in nursery 8-6 5 days a week and I really need my weekends with them". I replied that I was sorry I couldn't help. Shes not happy and I get that but imo I'm not paid well enough to want to do a Saturday, her salary is at least 22k (I know as my previous job was her job in another company) and it's her responsibility, that's what happens in her position. My friend disagrees and says as "someone lower" I should be picking up the slack. I feel I made my position very clear right at the beginning.

OP posts:
ivegonegreyfindingausername · 05/07/2019 14:30

Are you able to get childcare that isn't a nursery for one of the saturdays?

Could you not compromise and do one of them? I know you think your hourly rate isn't fantastic, not contacted etc but surely you see where shes coming from regarding seeing her kids? You've said you've done a similar role to her's before, does this involve late finishes, not seeing kids much through week?
Is she generally a nice person that might have just realised 'sh*t, there's no one to cover these Saturdays and instead of asking nicely shes asked while worked up? Maybe she's worked up wondering how she can arrange childcare for her kids...
I'd try to put yourself in her shoes, she might need the help...

JacquesHammer · 05/07/2019 14:31

Everyone wins

Well not really if the OP doesn’t want to do it, which is perfectly fine!

peachescariad · 05/07/2019 14:33

Your manager asked you and you said no, so don't feel guilty about it. You made your working arrangements clear and tbh working one Saturday is not going to advance your career in any way whatsoever so that's BS! ....the manager probably won't even remember (if she's still there) when/if you need reference in the future.
Your manager sounds delightful if she's putting you on a guilt trip.

Snog · 05/07/2019 14:37

Say no OP and feel no guilt. It is a valid choice to spend your uncontracted time doing what you want to do.

HorridHenrysNits · 05/07/2019 14:38

It isn't relevant because it isnt OPs issue or problem to solve, and nor should it be. As for everyone wins, OP doesn't because doing something you don't want to do and made clear you weren't doing isn't winning. It's being berated into compliance.

thedevilcamefromthehimber · 05/07/2019 14:46

You've advised you can only work two days a week since day dot so you've done nothing wrong and don't have to feel guilty about anything. The manager should of sorted cover out as soon as the person put their holiday form in.

WaterOffaDucksCrack · 05/07/2019 14:47

Why is it so difficult for some women when a woman say's NO I don't understand the reason for this sexist comment

cricketmum84 · 05/07/2019 14:47

You sound a bit mean and stuck up. Especially with so much talk about being over qualified.

£22k is hardly mega bucks, it's only £5000 or so higher than what a full time salary would be on 8.50 an hour.

I also totally see her point about her already working full time. The whole reason you aren't working full time is because you have kids. I worked all last weekend because I had a deadline and could have cried as I had already done Monday to Friday and missed out on so much time with them.

Be nice and do one each. Remember you will need a reference from her at some point!

MoanyAnna · 05/07/2019 14:47

I think you should do it to build goodwill but make it clear that you don't want to have to cover for other peoples holidays on a regular basis.

HorridHenrysNits · 05/07/2019 14:48

Her working full time is not the OPs concern or problem.

floribunda18 · 05/07/2019 14:49

Quite. Don't be a doormat like quite a number of posters here.

ElizaPancakes · 05/07/2019 14:55

I might have considered it if she hadn't been so funny about not seeing her kids all week, that's her choice

That is a really nasty thing to say. You know nothing of her circumstances just like she knows nothing of yours. It is spiteful to say she needs to spend 6/7 days working because ‘she chose to work full time’.

I was totally on your side until you posted that.

WhenISnappedAndFarted · 05/07/2019 15:01

I agree with @ElizaPancakes. I was on your side until I saw that.

You've got every right to say no, not your problem and you don't have too however the likelihood is that it probably isn't her choice. She probably has to work full time to support her family and that's a really really nasty thing to say especially because you don't have too.

Purpletigers · 05/07/2019 15:03

You could help her out . Don’t you already have 3 days a week with your children that she doesn’t . You don’t have to do it if you don’t want to but maybe the extra money would be useful . Your children won’t miss you for one day.

HorridHenrysNits · 05/07/2019 15:05

Neither us nor OP can say why she works full time, and it shouldn't even have been brought up in the first place. That said, as the manager did choose to mention it, she is kind of inviting comment.

BigChocFrenzy · 05/07/2019 15:05

Don't be a doormat - it won't benefit you

  • You don't intend to stay very long, so you aren't interested in building a career there
    and also won't worry at being the first out if there are redundancies

  • References nowadays for your low level job basically state just the start and end dates,
    so being a brown-noser, aka "team player" gains you nothing

  • Neither your boss nor your employer have gone beyond the usual for you, so you have no favour to return

  • An employer, whose holiday planning is to request its employees work more than their contracted hours,
    is entirely responsible for all the problems this unprofessionalism causes
    Not your problem.

WhereYouLeftIt · 05/07/2019 15:05

"My manager has now come and said the woman on the reception desk has two weeks holiday coming up and I need to help cover."
The receptionist's summer holiday is an entirely predictable event. The manager should have had cover for that in hand, and the fact that she's trying to guilt you into doing it suggests she's not a very good manager. You, the temporary maternity cover who'd made it clear from the outset that you were doing two days/week and no more. No, she's being unreasonable here.

Stick with 'no', and feel no guilt. And possibly nudge your friend towards better self-esteem. Her idea that you should do it as 'someone lower' - Jeez!

Cornettoninja · 05/07/2019 15:13

The op is perfectly within her rights to refuse here. Neither persons family circumstances are relevant at all here and shouldn’t even be part of the conversation.

Cover is needed due to annual leave - the organisation should have this factored into their staffing needs and what will happen if no current member of staff can/will cover.

From what I can see the manager herself needs to go to her manager and discuss wants will happen as there is no cover.

I truly hate companies/management that rely on peer pressure amongst their staff to cover their needs.

fedup21 · 05/07/2019 15:37

hr we're still delighted to have me on board

Love this Grin

itslateandiminmypyjamas · 05/07/2019 15:44

LOL at people bringing 'team player' into it. Work doesn't give a shit about you. Being flexible means staying late once in a while - not coming in on days you explicitly said you can't/won't work because the Manager "doesn't want to do it herself".

Agreed. I've also learnt as a woman in corporate environments not to do the jobs around the office that you aren't paid for or are actually part of your job as it just becomes an expectation. Your boss should be more organised and have a temp to cover.

PurpleCrowbar · 05/07/2019 15:54

If this was a permanent arrangement, you were looking to progress further in the company, you were desperate to hang on to the job OR the manager had been particularly helpful/a brilliant boss to you & you really wanted to help her out, I'd probably be saying do one of the Saturdays if you can (negotiate time & a 1/2 at least & spend it on a lovely family day out next weekend).

As it's a stopgap job, & it doesn't sound like there's any carrot being offered, just the stick of emotional blackmail because the manager hasn't foreseen & addressed the problem of another employee's routine leave - I'd say stick to your guns.

Just pleasantly explain that you can't do Saturdays, full stop, non-negotiable, not in your contract & simply not happening.

Not your circus, not your monkeys. Don't get into a pissing contest re who needs to hang out with their kids most!

It's irrelevant & brings emotions into what is ultimately a clinical business contract here (they want 2 days work a week out of you, you want a toehold back in to the industry, any goodwill expectation either side is pretty minimal anyway).

JaniceBattersby · 05/07/2019 16:08

If they want you to work Saturday then they need to keep upping their offer until it’s worth your while. I’d do it for £500 Wink

Why should you lose out? Bollocks to being a team player. That argument usually gets raised when employers expect their employees to do something that’s unreasonable and outside their contract.

Gin96 · 05/07/2019 16:21

@janice exactly why would you do something that has no benefit to you. £8.50 an hour on Saturday is a piss take, at least they could do is offer you more money

Horsemenoftheaclopalypse · 05/07/2019 16:40

Yanbu.
You were clear on your availability form the get go.

If she was smart she’d have cut you a deal or thrown in some sweetener for you to help her out.
Instead she’s trying to emotionally blackmail you to sort out her problem... Confused
I’d tell her to get to fuck.

She’s literally paid to deal with this.

BumbleBeee69 · 05/07/2019 16:58

I actually can't believe how many people think the manager not getting to see her kids as much is somehow relevant to the OP

I agree.. it's not OP's responsibility to ensure her manager get Family time for her kids. Confused and s for it being the nice thing to do, nice people get shat on every day.. so sod being nice, be honest, say NO. Flowers